Huber: NASCAR corners the marketing

By Jim Huber, Turner Sports Interactive
May 22, 2001
11:36 AM EDT (1536 GMT)

Commentary

It was, at best, ironic. At worst, the finest of satire.

Jim Huber

I had just finished polishing off a short story on the newest "official" item on NASCAR's list, a nifty little $56 bottle of cabernet -- "the official wine of NASCAR."

Apparently they create individual bottlings for each major track on the circuit, the Darlington, the Talladega, etc. And some say the better offerings can go for upwards of $500 a bottle.

I found that a bit odd, yes, but once Viagra took to a racing hood, there was little left on the shock meter.

So I was contemplating putting a couple bottles of the Charlotte cabernet away in my modest wine rack -- which always seems to be going on empty, for some reason -- when I pulled alongside a truck bearing a nearly-unpronounceable name and the bottom line: "The official lawn-care machine of NASCAR."

Now I understand the official wine, the official "men's dysfunction-solver," the official bleach and the official asphalt paver…but lawn care? Where is the tie-in, aside from financial?

Is there anything in sight to mow? Of course, it is aimed at the fan who will buy only NASCAR-approved and sanctioned stuff and most fans have yards.

Some without sheep, in fact.

Thus the lawn machine with the racing stripes, which I'm sure can be altered to include team colors and numbers and a teen-age pit crew to keep it running.

The marketing of sports is a remarkable and multi-billion dollar business. The line to NASCAR's marketing office, I'll betcha, is halfway from here to Napa Valley, simply because everyone wants to hop on the hottest bandwagon and there seems to be none hotter these days than stock-car racing.

Fans gobble the sanctioned stuff up quickly, as if NASCAR's seal rivals Good Housekeeping's.

Which brings me to a final thought: Should we consider offering multiple warnings with all of this?

After all, imagine the problems, drinking that Rockingham zinfandel and driving that NASCAR lawn tractor while under the spell of that official little blue pill.

(Official Punch Line of NASCAR to be inserted here by reader.)

Jim Huber's column appears every Tuesday on NASCAR.com. The opinions listed here are solely those of the writer.