The pain lessens, but doesn’t cease
By Tim Packman, Turner Sports Interactive
August 20, 2001
2:56 PM EDT (1856 GMT)
COMMENTARY
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Tim Packman
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With 10 laps remaining in the Daytona 500 I started to get this little smirk on my face. Michael Waltrip was leading and I had written a column earlier in the week predicting him as the winner.
My co-worker Ryan Smithson (a fellow Track Smacker) thought I was out of my proverbial mind for making such a ludicrous choice. I got razzed not only by him, but from friends and family as well.
Ever since a New Year’s Eve party (which is always a great time to make a decision or prediction) at my buddy Warren Brosel’s house I had been saying that Michael was going to win the Daytona 500. Brosel is the catch-can man for Waltrip’s No. 15 Chevrolet and I just had a funny feeling Michael would win it with his brother calling him to the line.
As Michael crossed the finish line I walked into Ryan’s work area and just stood there and smiled. He made some crack and I walked away laughing. I immediately called Warren and left him a message telling him how proud and happy I was for him.
One hour later I was crying next to Smithson’s desk.
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Dale Earnhardt
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We had just found out that Dale Earnhardt had passed away from injuries suffered in his last-lap crash. I refused to believe it even as we published the story.
“No, it can’t be true,” I told him. “We can’t post that story. We have to wait for official word.”
The minute they showed Mike Helton’s face during the live press conference from Daytona, I knew what story we were posting. I just couldn’t believe it happened.
As much as it hurt inside then, it has lessened somewhat. But it still hasn’t ceased.
I thought of my family, all Big E fans, and some close friends who had built shrines in their homes and business for Earnhardt. I called my sister and all she did was cry. I called my stepfather -- same thing. Both conversations had few words and lasted just minutes.
What has lasted is the sense of loss.
For days afterwards I was feeling depressed, knowing that I would never get the chance to see “The Intimidator” take to the track again. The following day I went to Dale Earnhardt Inc. to talk to the fans gathered outside.
As droves of people left flowers, cards, and notes and just stopped by to be with other race fans, I interviewed them as they spoke of their pain. The recurring statement was that some of them couldn’t watch NASCAR again because it just wouldn’t be the same.
They were right -- it isn’t the same without that black No. 3 on the track. I still find myself checking the running order and practice times to see how he’s doing.
I’m not sure what Tuesday’s investigation report will reveal regarding new information on the accident. The facts remain the same -- what happened already happened and that can’t be changed. What I am hoping for out of the lengthy investigation is that we possibly find out why we not only lost Dale, but that we also have a better idea what happened to Kenny Irwin, Adam Petty and Tony Roper.
Why wasn't some sort of thorough investigation done before this? I can’t answer that one. But what I can do is write about it, talk about it and ask others why. But it still doesn’t change what happened.
If some safety changes or improvements are made to the cars and the drivers personal apparel, then some good will come from the report. I do applaud NASCAR for taking its time on this one and not just throwing a Band-Aid on the situation.
No matter what is revealed Tuesday in the Atlanta press conference, there will be no solution for the sense of loss and pain still felt by many.
It has been said that nobody is gone as long as they are remembered. If that’s the case, I think it’s safe to say Dale Earnhardt will always be with us.
NOTE: Tim Packman is a staff writer for NASCAR.com. The opinions listed here are those solely of the writer. To provide feedback to Tim, email him at tim.packman@turner.com.
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