Pattie Petty remains a tower of strength

By Liz Allison, Turner Sports Interactive
November 7, 2001
1:10 PM EST (1810 GMT)

COMMENTARY

Liz Allison

Pattie Petty, wife of Winston Cup regular Kyle Petty, has been associated with NASCAR racing for a very long time. Long enough to see many changes in the sport that she shares the passion for with her husband and her entire family.

Pattie Petty is not your ordinary woman. Her friends know her as a strong supportive wife, a devoted mother to her children and an incredibly spiritual person.

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Ironically, these are the very traits that have gotten her through the trials and tribulations she has had to endure through her years in racing. Her friends, including myself, consider her a tower of strength.

I talked to Pattie this week about her life as a racer's wife, a mother of a racer that faced her worst fear, and the changes the sport has had since she married Kyle 23 years ago. This is what she had to say.

LIZ ALLISON: You have been around this sport for many years. What is the biggest difference from then to now?

PATTIE PETTY: I would have to say the business end of it and the growth of the sport. It takes so much more to run a team now than it used to from the number of employees to the funds that it takes to stay competitive.

It just takes so much more to run a team than it did 23 years ago when Kyle started. The awareness of the sport is quite different too; it is much more respected now than it used to be. The image of racing has definitely changed.

LIZ ALLISON: Kyle at one point ventured out into singing country music and was ridiculed by some people in the sport that felt he was not focused enough on racing.

Adam Petty

PATTIE PETTY: There was a huge misconception of his racing and his country music. Kyle is a very good writer and has always loved to write, so he got into performing so he could try to get some things going with his writing but he was never not focused on racing.

Doing something outside of racing at that time was looked at as a distraction. Kyle is a very intelligent guy who could and still can honestly be focused on several things at once.

When we went with Felix Sabates (Kyle's former car owner) he felt that Kyle needed to drop the music thing, so he did. He is no less a musician or a writer now than he was then.

LIZ ALLISON: You are not only Kyle Petty's wife, but you are also the daughter-in-law of "The King" -- Richard Petty. The name Petty in this sport goes a long way.

PATTIE PETTY: You know, Liz, I have not been married to anyone else so I don't know anything else but to be married to a Petty and be a Petty myself.

I went from graduate school to marrying Kyle. I do tell my children that being a Petty comes with a certain amount of respect that I expect them to give the family members before us that earned that respect in our community and in the sport of racing.

I ask them to be respectful in their actions and in everything they do. Lynda (Richard's wife) has taught me how to live this sport. She exemplifies what it means to be a racers wife and a good mother.

LIZ ALLISON: You and Kyle have three children -- all very different.

Kyle Petty

PATTIE PETTY: Yes they are. Adam was wonderful but as a child very stubborn and strong willed. He did not like school so he would at times give us a fit with his schoolwork.

He was always determined and if he wanted to do something, nothing would get in his way. He was a dream and a joy and he worked hard to make his dreams come true which he did at a very young age.

He was also very spiritual and had a lot of integrity and honor. We were very proud of him as we are with all three of our children.

Montgomery Lee is a lot like Adam in the fact that she is very determined and driven. She is focused on her horses like Adam was with his racing. She won the "World Championship" this year and now she is dead set on following that up again next year with another championship.

Now Austin is a little different in the fact that he is enjoying being a teenager and is not quite sure what he wants to do yet which is fine.

He likes pretty girls and enjoys doing a little bit of everything. He jumps in to everything with all four feet. He is still looking for his thing but when he finds it he will soar like an eagle.

Richard Petty

LIZ ALLISON: You know the downside of racing and how tough it can be on a family. What was your response to Adam when he told you he wanted to race?

PATTIE PETTY: Kyle and I both were very supportive of his dream. It didn't just happen overnight so we had many years to work up to that.

He had worked on go-karts and Late Models for a long time so we were happy when he really started racing because it is what he wanted to do. He was quite diligent about racing so we were too for him and decided to give him the best opportunities that we could and enjoy it with him.

LIZ ALLISON: Adam had some great times in racing and had some success along the way. You have said that Kyle was living vicariously through Adam, how so?

PATTIE PETTY: Adam was so grateful for the opportunity. He loved the fact that Kyle was so involved in his racing. They really connected and trusted each other's advice.

It got to where Adam would tell Kyle things to do on the track and they just really became best friends. Kyle loved Adam's enthusiasm for racing because Kyle had been doing this so long he had forgotten how exciting going to a track for the first time could be and Adam reminded him of the innocence of that. It was a special time for Kyle and Adam.

Richard Petty and Adam in victory lane at Charlotte, 1998.

LIZ ALLISON: You were not at Loudon (New Hampshire International Raceway) when Adam lost his life.

PATTIE PETTY: No, I was not there and that fact has bothered me, but I realize that I could not have changed anything or the outcome of the day.

I did not travel early then like I do now. I would show up on race day because Adam did not need his Mom hanging around. Kyle and Montgomery Lee had flown to England for a horse show so they were not there either.

I am sure Kyle has had mixed feeling about that as well, but if we walked through our steps of that day the end result would still be the same. The bottom line was it was his time that is what I wish I could change.

We still want him and we still need him and miss him terribly. I do not know if I will be able to go to Loudon and I hate that for Bob Bahre (chairman of New Hampshire International Raceway) because he is such a nice man.

He and the track have had so many bad things happen. Bob made a $1 million donation to "The Victory Junction Gang Camp" in memory of Adam, which is just unbelievable. Nobody else has done anything like that.

LIZ ALLISON: Speaking of the "Victory Junction Gang Camp", how did the camp idea get started?

Kyle Petty has taken over day-to-day responsibilities at Petty Enterprises.

PATTIE PETTY: Adam had been interested in this for a while with Kyle and I as we continued to look in to the idea of starting one of Paul Newman's camps for chronically ill children in our area.

There are over 283,000 chronically-ill children in our region alone so it was something that we had wanted to do for a while.

Adam got interested in it and had decided to support our effort to get a camp in North Carolina. He loved children and loved making them smile. There were 12 acres attached to our land that Kyle and I wanted to purchase for the future site of the camp but were not able to do so because of our money being tied up in racing at the time, so Adam decided he would be the one responsible for purchasing the land.

The week of his accident he was to sign the papers to finalize the deal. The Lord works in mysterious ways. The lawyers decided to drop the deal for the land so we lost the land but Richard and Lynda gave the land for the future site of the camp that is being built in memory of Adam.

The funny thing was is that Richard had not gotten involved in the camp before Adam's death because he felt like it was our deal. Now he is like Daniel Boone on a bulldozer, trying to get the land ready to hopefully start building in June 2002.

We need $10 milion to $15 million to start building and we are half of the way there.

LIZ ALLISON: Your first visit back to the racetrack after Adam's death was Dover. You skipped Charlotte, which was the very first race after Adams death. Why Dover?

PATTIE PETTY: We felt like we owed it to our sponsors that had supported us for so long. Sprint had planned to follow Adam's career right in to Winston Cup so we felt that we had to go back because of them and all our friends.

Kyle drove Adam's car in the Busch race on Saturday. We also felt that we owed it to our employees. They were all heartbroken over Adam and they needed our support. We did what we felt we had to do. At this point it was not about us.

Kyle and I were in a daze; we just went through the motions. After I left there I hit rock bottom. I did not know what to do to make the pain go away.

Adam and Kyle Petty at Daytona, 1999.

LIZ ALLISON: Racing, like everything else, must go on. How is racing for you now?

PATTIE PETTY: It has been a long struggle. Kyle is working so hard and so are all the guys. They have all been working for a while now; they are just trying to bring it all together.

LIZ ALLISON: Petty Enterprises has been through ups and downs but it looks as though things are finally trying to turn around.

PATTIE PETTY: I think they are. There are so many things that Kyle and the entire team has been working on for the past three years. We had a hard time getting people to work for us because it is hard to get people to come to a team that is not winning.

People are now starting to call us which is great and we have the engine deal for next year so I think things will continue to get better.

LIZ ALLISON: Kyle not only is a driver but he is also a business manager. How does he balance all of his responsibilities?

PATTIE PETTY: He only sleeps about six hours a night and the rest of the time he is working.

That is not all bad though because he is still grieving so staying busy for him keeps his mind from thinking too much. Racing keeps him focused on positive things.

LIZ ALLISON: The thing that most people do not understand about driver's wives is that you feel your husband's joy as well as his pain on and off of the track.

PATTIE PETTY: That is right -- I do feel both. If Kyle messes up on the track, I am the first one to tell him. One time he got into Geoff Bodine and I made him go apologize.

It also breaks my heart when I see Kyle work as hard as he does and then have bad luck like we have had lately. As a wife, I get defensive about Kyle and very protective.

I still can't look in to the face of the No. 45 guys and not see Adam and that breaks my heart too. They have worked through odds that they should not have had to and they deserve some success and happiness.

LIZ ALLISON: You are a very strong woman. Where does your strength come from?

PATTIE PETTY: My strong faith in God and knowing that He does not make mistakes. He sees the road ahead of me that I cannot see. That does not mean that I do not question sometimes. I still question, I still don't understand why Adam had to die and I do wish things were different but even with my questions I still have faith.

I have prayed to God many times that I need strength to get through another day and God please give me a clue of what to do to make the pain go way. I remember Joe Gibbs giving his testimony one time and talked about his wife's battle with a brain tumor.

He said he woke up one morning and said "God, I am just glad that I am a Christian so I can get to heaven one day and when I get there, I have a list of whys." I admire him for his honesty and his faith and I guess that will be me too.

I will have my list, too. I still hurt; my family still grieves for Adam. We all miss him so much and yes we wish things were different but at the end of the day, God is in control and we must give glory to God.

To find out more about the "Victory Junction Gang Camp" contact The Winston Cup Racing Wives Auxiliary at (704) 455-9299.

NOTE: Liz Allison's column appears every Wednesday on NASCAR.com. To reach Liz, you can contact her at liz.allison@turner.com.