| 1 |
1 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He said after Texas: “I’ve never driven anything quite like this.” Which means he couldn’t remember the last time he finished but didn’t end up first or second. |
| 2 |
5 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Did you see Britney Spears at the race Sunday?! Wonder if Dale Jr. did?! The are both two young, Southern, rich, talented, blond……well, you get the idea. |
| 3 |
2 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Sorry to move you down one, dude. It's totally not fair, we know. But it's getting crowded at the top. |
| 4 |
8 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He said he felt a lot better after he got by Earnhardt Jr. I’ll bet he did. Newman’s a smart guy. He remembers what happened – or what almost happened -- in The Winston last year. |
| 5 |
7 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Boy, he sure does not like racing back to the yellow flag. Judging by his win totals recently, he doesn’t like racing back to the checkered, either. All kidding aside, deserves a lot of credit for trying to bring light to an issue that needs clarification. |
| 6 |
6 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Flying way under the radar, and ready to strike. |
| 7 |
4 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Dude, where's my car? |
| 8 |
3 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
This man has got to do something to get better luck. He's been in three accidents already this year, and none were his fault. |
| 9 |
14 |
 |
Mark Martin |
It’s a shame he didn’t have a few more laps to work with – he’d have looked great in that cowboy hat they give to the winner. It’s bigger than he is. |
| 10 |
9 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Know that little kid in the battery commercial who keeps saying, “I win! You lose! I win! You lose!” That’s Mikey on a plate track. |
| 11 |
15 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Sure, getting caught a lap down in the pits sucks, but at least he knows he can be competitive on a 1.5-mile speedway again. |
| 12 |
11 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
More people than 250,000 people – more people than those who attended the race at Texas – will be in Columbia, Tenn. this Saturday for Mule Day. Really. You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried. |
| 13 |
12 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
He got punted more often than a football at on any given Sunday at Texas Stadium. |
| 14 |
10 |
 |
Ricky Craven |
Jeff Green oiled down the track nice and good for him in qualifying. It’s just a theory, but Green is from Kentucky and Craven is from Maine, and the the two were taking about Craven’s performances at Texas. When Craven said “Please, I done well on this track,” Green thought he said, “Please, put oil on the track.” |
| 15 |
17 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He found-out first-hand that everything’s bigger in Texas. Especially the crashes. |
| 16 |
13 |
 |
Dave Blaney |
He’s a big basketball fan, so his finish at Texas isn’t all bad. He got home early to watch the games. |
| 17 |
16 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Man, rough week. His basketball team -- Duke -- never got going in the tournament, and he never got going at Texas. |
| 18 |
20 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
Winner of this week’s Rocky Balboa award, and not because he and Sylvester Stallone are of the same generation. Jarrett kept getting hit hard, and Jarrett kept getting up. |
| 19 |
18 |
 |
Johnny Benson |
Hendrick engines had some problems this weekend, which ruined his day. But then again, Texas is real hard on engines, so it's not surprising that problems came up. |
| 20 |
22 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
We’ll be nice and not bring up the losing streak this week. Well, we kind of just did. Anyways, it’ll end before July. |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Jerry Nadeau |
Saddam has already appeared on Iraqi television denouncing his fourth-place finish. |
| 22 |
19 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
He had the best explanation as to why Steve Park fell out of the Power Rankings this week. “The 1 car is spinning off Turn 4, one of the four times he spun out.” |
| 23 |
24 |
 |
Bill Elliott |
He knew something was wrong – and we don’t mean when looked up and saw himself in the lead. Blown engine. |
| 24 |
23 |
 |
Jimmy Spencer |
His confidence is much bigger this year. Too bad his paychecks aren’t. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Jeff Green |
He’s back after getting booted offline for six weeks. |
