| 1 |
2 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
No gas, no glory. |
| 2 |
3 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Have you seen the commercial where he takes the Smirnoff Ice to the party? Does that mean Mark Martin has to bring the Viagra? |
| 3 |
6 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
No one wanted to draft with him Saturday night. Guess no one felt like finishing second. |
| 4 |
5 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
He gave a speech about teen driving safety on the Today Show. To illustrate, he said that it’s never good to pass under caution on the way to school. |
| 5 |
1 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
Bad weekend for Indiana. Newman and Tony Stewart can't get their cars dialed in, and Tony Raines fails to qualify. Good thing Dan Quayle wasn't the grand marshal. |
| 6 |
8 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
When’s Talladega? |
| 7 |
12 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He’s been the man to beat at Chicago the last two years, leading to speculation that when he gets in town, Sammy Sosa comes down and corks his car for him. |
| 8 |
7 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
How come they don’t penalize you at Daytona when you wreck below the yellow line? |
| 9 |
4 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
For the second straight year, he’s got Mark Martin right behind in the standings, but for some reason, it hasn’t matched the media hype of 2002. |
| 10 |
9 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Buckshot Jones nipped him for 17th there at the end at Daytona. Two words: Confidence killer. |
| 11 |
16 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
This guy has improved five weeks in a row. Does that mean he’s going to win at New Hampshire? No. |
| 12 |
15 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
He beat his brother for the second time in four races. When was the last time that happened? We’re not sure, but we’re sure Monica Lewinsky was under 170 pounds. |
| 13 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
"What! Biffle won? I figured he was a lap down!" |
| 14 |
10 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
Things can’t be that bad – he’s finished on the lead lap in nine of the last 10 races. And he’s got Jeff Gordon to thank for that streak not being 10 of out 10. |
| 15 |
11 |
 |
Mark Martin |
He is back in 2001 mode again. Hope he doesn't wake up and purchase a million shares of Enron. |
| 16 |
13 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He was 40th at Daytona, which -- believe it or not -- was his first finish worse than 30th this year. It was also the first time his hood failed to finish the race. |
| 17 |
14 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
His gas mileage was terrible at Daytona. Bet he wished he had an Insight instead of an Intrepid. |
| 18 |
25 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He’s a staggering 998 points behind Matt Kenseth. If Jarrett wins 19 races in a row and leads the most laps in each, Jarrett would win the title if Kenseth averaged a 13th-place finish the rest of the way. C’mon, anything’s possible. |
| 19 |
18 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Did you see his 1960s style, flowery scheme? How ironic. His car wilted after looking so beautiful for a few hours. |
| 20 |
NR |
 |
Greg Biffle |
His win set off riots in his home state of Washington. At least 15 people were hurt by flying apples. |
| 21 |
20 |
 |
Bill Elliott |
Yep. |
| 22 |
19 |
 |
Ricky Craven |
Man, what a tough night he had at Daytona. Things got so bad that he simply went home to Maine, where he hurt his foot kicking his frozen dog. |
| 23 |
21 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He ran that Terminator 3 scheme. To help promote the movie at Daytona, he said, “I’ll be in the back.” |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
Only four points behind Jamie McMurray in the standings. McMurray wasn’t even born when Rudd made his first Winston Cup start. Wait, was it Winston back then? |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Dave Blaney |
His crew chief has a new show called Bootie Call on SPEED. On the show, he sits at a desk, gets one phone call, leaves, and never comes back until morning. |
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