Track Smack: Offseason

CONCORD, N.C. -- We must bid a sad farewell to Tim Packman, who took his love of NASCAR to a new job at DEI. Now, we know what you are thinking. Let's squelch that. At 38 years of age, he was much too old to get a driving gig.

Taking his place is long-time North Carolinian Lee Montgomery, who is already messing up the rotation with his superior knowledge of racing. Apparently no one told him that superior knowledge of racing was not a prerequisite of Track Smack.

Is testing a true indication of what we can expect at Speedweeks?

Marty Smith: No. No way, dude. If teams are really strong, they sandbag. It's the nature of the game. Teams rarely, if ever, show their cards until they actually get to Speedweeks.

Ryan Smithson: No, not really. And it never is in any kind of motorsport really, NASCAR included. There are too many variables involved. Always has been, and always will be. Sometimes you see some weird names at the top.

Lee Montgomery: Is testing ever a true indication of what we can expect? Can anyone remember who was fastest last year around this time? Where was Ward Burton? Where was Michael Waltrip?

Dave Rodman: That's why Jimmie Johnson was good in testing and then came back and won the pole for the Daytona 500 -- right? I agree, it is not a definitive statement, but it gives you a pretty good idea. Ward was fast -- second-quick. Then again, I was here, so that might be why I remember?

Marty Smith: No, Rodman. You remember because you're freakin' Rain Man.

Ryan Smithson: Except Rodman does not get chicks like Dustin Hoffman does. That's an assumption -- that Hoffman gets chicks. Anyways, back to racing. I think Jimmie was different, Rodman. He was a rookie.

Dave Rodman: You're saying he didn't know enough to sandbag? Gordon's his mentor, man -- he would school the boy. And Ray (Evernham) taught ol' Chad (Knaus) well, too.

	Some sand for the sandbaggers! Credit: AP

Marty Smith: Restrictor plate racing is such a different deal, anyway. You can have

the fastest car, have a bad pit stop and end up in the middle of the Big One before you blink twice.

Lee Montgomery: Testing is 90 percent qualifying. And that lasts two laps and usually means nothing when it comes to the race.

Lee Montgomery: Who cares about qualifying anyway? All the drivers always say anyone can drive a car and go 190 in qualifying. I want one driver to give up his seat sometime. I wonder if Fred Sanford is available.

Ryan Smithson: Fred Sanford raced the little red truck. Take that, Dale Jarrett.

Marty Smith: Fred Sanford? I bet that dude could wheel it. DYNOMITE!

Lee Montgomery: Wrong 70s sitcom Dawg.

	The world's most ardent Sanford and Son fan. Credit: Autostock

Ryan Smithson: Dynomite was the tall guy from Good Times, Marty.

Marty Smith: JJ would be his crew chief.

Lee Montgomery: Sanford and Son Chevrolet.

Dave Rodman: Grady -- crew chief par excellence.

Ryan Smithson: Marty, you saying that Jimmie Johnson is a big Sanford and Son fan?

Marty Smith: Totally. He plays the soundtrack during dinner.

Ryan Smithson: He does not. You tell a lot of whoppers but I don't believe that.

Lee Montgomery: I knew I liked Jimmie Johnson for some reason.

Marty Smith: I bet Knight Rider could win the 500. Kit was a bad machine. That red light on the front was on time.

Ryan Smithson: Kitt, not Kit.

Lee Montgomery: I wonder what John Darby would think.

Marty Smith: Not too sure it would pass inspection, though.

Give us some off-the-wall predictions for 2003.

	"Let's see. Kurt's still in that black car. Rubber something. Rubbermaid. That's it. Hope they don't change the scheme again this year though. I hate it when they do that." Credit: Autostock

Marty Smith: The Muppets will be granted clearance into Chicagoland Speedway.

Lee Montgomery: Kyle Petty will win a race in 2003. I said it last year, too. I'll keep saying it until it happens. Or until he retires, whichever comes first.

Ryan Smithson: I predict that Jimmy Spencer will finish better for Ultra than he did with Ganassi.

Lee Montgomery: Only if he can stay away from Mr. Busch.

Ryan Smithson: Kurt probably stays up at night memorizing that scheme.

Marty Smith: And that's off-the-wall, how? Jimmy was awful last year, Smithson.

Ryan Smithson: It's off the wall because Ganassi has better equipment.

Lee Montgomery: I wonder if the 97 will slam the 41 by accident this year. "Oops, I thought it was Spencer."

Dave Rodman: Morgan-McClure will win a restrictor plate race -- and it might not be Mike Skinner's first Winston Cup win.

Ryan Smithson: You saying Skinner is going to get fired, Dave?

Send us some love MartDawg Ryan Lee Dave

Marty Smith: Smithson. You idiot. You're forever stirring it up.

Dave Rodman: No -- I think he can win, obviously.

Ryan Smithson: A single-car team won't win a race this year. Not even Craven.

Marty Smith: Wrong. Wood Brothers and Ricky Rudd will win Sonoma. Infineon. Whatever.

Dave Rodman: There you go, Marty -- single car teams could win two-three times -- maybe more than that. All circumstances, and those teams are certainly good enough.

Lee Montgomery: I doubt Rudd will be punching any Roush engine guys.

Ryan Smithson: I think Rudd will have a year like Ernie Irvan had his first year after Yates -- about 13th in points, a bunch of sixth-place runs.

Dave Rodman: He'll do better than that ? plus be consistent.

	Come get me, Ward! Credit: AP

Marty Smith: They're going to surprise a lot of people. Ford pumped some cash into that program and I think you'll see a vast improvement.

Lee Montgomery: In the 21? I'll believe it when I see it.

Ryan Smithson: It'll certainly help settle the driver-or-car debate.

Lee Montgomery: I love the Woods, but still........

Ryan Smithson: Ward Burton likes the woods too.

Dave Rodman: I won't go out on any limbs -- but the result will certainly be interesting, that's for sure.

Marty Smith: He'd better. He lived out in the wild blue yonder for two years.

Dave Rodman: Virginia boys -- no surprise.

Lee Montgomery: Ward is the MAN!

Marty Smith: Easy son. I'm a Virginia boy.

Lee Montgomery: And defending Daytona 500 champion. Isn't that weird?

	A country boy can survive. Credit: AP

Marty Smith: God Bless the Commonwealth....Long live the V-A.

Ryan Smithson: Every time I hear that story about Ward Burton living off the land, the length he lived gets longer. Next thing you know, he lived off the land from ages 12 to 30.

Marty Smith: Lived off the land? Nice Hank Williams, Jr., shoutout, Smithson.

Lee Montgomery: I have a question. Can the 2003 Daytona 500 winner avoid the slump the last two guys had? Mikey and Ward had awful seasons.

Ryan Smithson: I don't see Ward making a huge improvement, no. But he will win at least once.

Dave Rodman: That's a good question, Lee -- but I bet anyone would trade a Daytona 500 for the chance -- and risk -- of trying.

Lee Montgomery: You got that right. You can live off that the rest of your life. Just look at Darrell Waltrip.

Ryan Smithson: I won't mention any names.

Dave Rodman: I would like to think you wouldn't rest -- or settle for that -- but it's a good pillow if you need it.

Marty Smith: Good pillow? To rest your weary head?

Dave Rodman: DW had plenty going for him -- the Daytona 500 was the icing for him -- unfortunately the new era fans don't realize or remember a lot of that.

Ryan Smithson: I have given up predicting the winner after seeing the last two 500s.

Lee Montgomery: I remember Darrell telling a story a while back that he wanted to be able to sit on his front porch in a rocker and talk to Earnhardt about winning the Daytona 500. This race means that much.

	Marty's empty hair gel bottle.

Ryan Smithson: I am assuming Waltrip and Earnhardt probably did talk about it after Earnhardt finally won it.

Marty Smith: Sure it does. I can't wait to get there. The electricity is palpable. Walking into that place that first time each year is darn near breathtaking.

Lee Montgomery: I'm sure. Rodman, you're right about DW. There are some people who considered Darrell to be as good, if not better, than Earnhardt.

Marty Smith: The world will request Mr. Montgomery's email address.

Ryan Smithson: Earnhardt didn't ever have the equipment Waltrip had, Lee.

Lee Montgomery: Yeah, and no one had equipment like Richard Petty, people say. My response? So what? He had it, he won 200 races. Shut up.

Ryan Smithson: See, that's the secret of Earnhardt. Richard Childress Racing never really had great cars for Earnhardt to drive, but they were built to withstand 500 laps, so when Earnhardt needed to make a move, he had a car that was capable.

Dave Rodman: Ryan, that is so off the wall I can't respond. You think DW started out in Cadillacs?

Ryan Smithson: I don't know if DW started off in Cadillacs, but I know he sells Volvos in Franklin, Tenn. Can you imagine that? You wanna buy a Swedish car and go talk to DW?

Lee Montgomery: Is there a driver without a car dealership?

Ryan Smithson: Yes. Larry Foyt.

Ryan Smithson: Kevin Harvick Kia does not exist yet.

Marty Smith: I agree, Lee. I just had an email exchange with some guy who completely discounts Junior's ability. He says he's a product of marketing and has no skill. He says that he was given everything by his daddy. Well, so what? He got it, get over it. And get over yourself. He hates me, too, just for the record.

Ryan Smithson: Waltrip hates you, Marty?

Marty Smith: No, some random guy with a new computer he got for Christmas.

Lee Montgomery: No, the guy at the hair salon. Marty took his hair gel.

Ryan Smithson: Marty once bought hair gel at Kroger.

Marty Smith: I need to go buy, some, Lee. I'm out.

Track Smack appears every Wednesday on NASCAR.com, even in the offseason.

The opinions listed here are solely those of the participants.