Track Smack: Offseason

What did y'all think of Jeff Gordon's Saturday Night Live appearance?

Lee Montgomery: Didn't we all expect more? Nothing against Jeff, but he was a little out of his league. I chuckled at a couple segments, but otherwise, Jeff needs to stick to driving. Though seeing Jeff with a mullet was classic.

Ryan Smithson: I was disappointed because I don't think they used Gordon as much as they could have. He didn't really have a ton of lines -- compared to some other hosts in the past. I think they underused him, and they underused his NASCAR celebrity.

Marty Smith: Considering the dynamic of that show, I think he did one helluva job. Unless you've been there and experienced the way live television works, you simply cannot appreciate how difficult it can be. I give him major props. Plus, that mullet was money.

Dave Rodman: I thought Jeff acquitted himself well, considering that ain't his shtick -- but I also realized why I have not watched it for a loooonnng time. It was too bad that the mullet came so far into it -- I bet a lotta people had given up on it long before that.

Lee Montgomery: I would've loved to have seen Jeff on Star Dates. Maybe a Junior fan as his date would've been funny.

	Joe Montana (above) and Michael Jordan (below) Credit: AP

Ryan Smithson: The only part that really got me rolling was the Gary Busey bit. The guy who played it had the Texas accent dead on. It was funny when Gordon punched him because he missed by a good two feet.

Marty Smith: Smithson, it was nice of you to let Gordon borrow your satin bowling jacket.

Ryan Smithson: Well, his people got in touch with my people. It wasn't a problem.

Lee Montgomery: I remember seeing Joe Montana on SNL a few years ago. Seems they used him better, and he was funnier somehow. No, Jeff isn't a comedian, but neither was Montana.

Ryan Smithson: You're right about Montana. I remember that show. It was a lot better.

Marty Smith: How about Michael Jordan? Dude, that Stuart Smalley bit was absolutely hysterical. That was the funniest SNL ever with a sports star.

Ryan Smithson: But it was not Jeff's fault. He got a lot better as the show went on. I just meant that they should have had him with some NASCAR stuff, not waiting tables.

Lee Montgomery: Wouldn't Junior be better as a host than Gordon? Or Michael Waltrip? Not that anyone knows who he is. Anyone outside of NASCAR, of course.

Dave Rodman: They should have put "sports stars on SNL" on VHS or DVD -- that's the only way I would have ever seen it.

Ryan Smithson: Rodman's lying about having a DVD player. He still uses Beta.

	Fear the mullet. Credit: AP

Marty Smith: Rodman's geriatric tail end hits the pillow by 9 pm. He hasn't seen SNL since Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd.

Ryan Smithson: Rodman thinks Chevy Chase is a town you pass on the way to Dover.

Dave Rodman: Hmmm, Ryan -- we weren't that lost last time we drove to Dover, were we? I missed the opening with the bogus NASCAR fans in the crowd -- how was that?

Lee Montgomery: Bogus NASCAR fans -- that was bogus, too. They tried too hard.

Marty Smith: The NASCAR fans deal didn't fly.

Lee Montgomery: Though to hear Gordon say real NASCAR fans would kill them, that wasn't a bad line.

Ryan Smithson: No, Marty, that was rather dumb. But it's hilarious how they come out and say it gave "valuable exposure" to sponsors.

	View from the Talladega infield. Note the odd angle. That wasn't unintnetional. Credit: Autostock

Marty Smith: What if they did a National Lampoon's NASCAR Vacation?

Ryan Smithson: Clark Griswold takes the family to Talladega,

Lee Montgomery: In a motorhome.

Marty Smith: God Bless the Talladega infield.

Lee Montgomery: Marty Griswold.

Marty Smith: I can't wait to get back there. We're gonna do it again this year.

What is with all this preseason NASCAR hype? It is more than in previous years?

Lee Montgomery: You mean NASCAR Preseason Thunder? It's got me all hot and bothered.

Ryan Smithson: Well, it goes to the national TV contract. When you watch the Eagles play the Falcons and see Michael Waltrip at halftime, you know it's arrived.

Lee Montgomery: I think there is more hype, and the fans eat it up, too. The hardcore ones, anyway. Does the casual sports fan care? Probably not.

	A gray car on a gray day on a gray track. Credit: TSI

Dave Rodman: They finally figured out they've got a Gravy Train and they're trying to ride it for all it's worth. The only troublesome thing about it, to me, is the next step will be to charge people to get in.

Marty Smith: Good Lord, Lee. We're all itching for some racing, son, but hot and bothered? You're all by yourself there, man.

Ryan Smithson: He is bothered by Rodman. Understandable.

Dave Rodman: You just wish you could be here, son. Out on the fringes, again.

Marty Smith: Uh, not so much. I'd rather watch my front lawn grow than watch unpainted cars ride around at half-speed all day.

Ryan Smithson: There's nothing like Daytona in January, Rodman. Cold wind. Single-car runs. Grey cars. No thanks.

Send us some love MartDawg Ryan Lee Dave

Lee Montgomery: Come on, you're not excited by that? All this testing -- for ONE LAP!!! YES!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

Lee Montgomery: OK, sorry, I'm better now.

Ryan Smithson: I can wait fine.

Marty Smith: Lee's hot and bothered again.

Dave Rodman: Anticipation. Reunions. It's all about the people, as usual.

Ryan Smithson: It's all about the Benjamin, more like it.

Lee Montgomery: Jeff as a gangsta rapper....now THAT would've been funny.

	Ja Rule Credit: AP

Ryan Smithson: Gordon is 31. Too old to be a rapper. Ice-T is looking more like Eleanor Roosevelt these days.

Lee Montgomery: Gordon too old. That's the first time I've ever heard that.

Probably good for him, finally. Wonder Boy. That always cracked me up.

Ryan Smithson: It's interesting; actually, I think rap is experiencing a young guns push too. Marty, back me up.

Marty Smith: Too old the be a rapper? Dude, Gordon drives an Escalade with 24-inch dubs. Tell Ja-Rule to top that one.

Ryan Smithson: Ja Rule is like five-foot-six. He couldn't top much. Actually, so is Gordon. Never mind.

Lee Montgomery: What's a Ja Rule? Something about templates?

Marty Smith: Avril was taller than Jeff.

Lee Montgomery: Advil is taller than Jeff.

Track Smack appears every Wednesday on NASCAR.com, even in the offseason.

The opinions listed here are solely those of the participants.