| 1 |
1 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
His dad was given a $25,000 check after the race ended on Sunday. And he wasn’t even a field filler. |
| 2 |
2 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
We know all the women are upset that Dale Earnhardt Jr. has gone public with his girlfriend, but she’s been good luck for him. Pre-girlfriend stats: 9.57 average finish. Post-girlfriend stats: 7.0 average finish. |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
Man, it’s like old times for Bobby. Fourth in the points. He hasn’t been this good since President Bush was elected. Maybe he won’t be forced to vote for John Kerry after all. |
| 4 |
7 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
So if NASCAR places you on probation, do they assign you a probation officer? And, if so, can it please be Tony Stewart? |
| 5 |
10 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
Forget the “Free Pass” or the “Lucky Dog Rule.” Call it “The Newman.” |
| 6 |
16 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He is tied with Jeff Gordon in the standings. If that ain’t braggin’ rights for a small-town boy from Virginia, nothing is. |
| 7 |
11 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
He was a bridesmaid. Again. However, June is the month for weddings. |
| 8 |
4 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
It’s a good thing his engine was so loud when it exploded. It woke the crowd up. |
| 9 |
5 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He really needed a good finish at Michigan to gather some momentum for Sonoma, where he’s never excelled. |
| 10 |
6 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Ouch. That was a harsh penalty for leaving the drivers’ meeting early. We’ll bet he doesn’t do that at Bristol. |
| 11 |
15 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Man, Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s words really fired him up. Maybe Michael should threaten to replace himself in his own Busch car since he’s been struggling in the Busch Series. |
| 12 |
8 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
That was a pretty bad joke they used about McMurray on Sunday – the TV crew said that he blew a piston in the city that hosts the Pistons. Bad joke. We should know about bad jokes. We make plenty of them in this column. |
| 13 |
9 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Engine at Pocono. Transmission at Michigan. No wonder his hair is white. |
| 14 |
13 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He leads the series in 11th-place finishes (with three). Bet you didn’t know that. He also leads the series in 12th-place finishes (with two). |
| 15 |
20 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
We could sit here and make a joke about how he and Phil Mickelson both faded on Sunday, but we won’t, mainly because we haven’t seen the last of either one of them in 2004. |
| 16 |
12 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
If only the Indy 500 were held at Infineon Raceway. With stock cars. |
| 17 |
19 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Look at this guy’s last five starting spots: 1, 5, 3, 2, 2. You can tell Vickers is just a kid. Once school let out, he caught fire. |
| 18 |
15 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He had on a Matt Kenseth T-shirt at Michigan. Why? Was it a condition of his probation? |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
If Terry has two or three more wins in him, you can bet Sonoma's going to be one of them. |
| 20 |
21 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He has not won in Sonoma since 1996. Which, of course, means he will win this weekend. The Budweiser donkey did not approve this message. |
| 21 |
18 |
 |
Casey Mears |
His grandmother crosses her fingers during the races. Looks like it can get pretty painful, too. Which means she is another one of those people who is hopeful Pocono gets shortened to 300 miles someday. |
| 22 |
NR |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
That would have been a great victory lane speech. It would have been 10 words, but quality always beats quantity. |
| 23 |
22 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
He crashed with Tony Stewart late in the day at Michigan. It's just an assumption, but we bet he wishes Tony hadn’t walked out of that drivers’ meeting. |
| 24 |
23 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
To quote a Jay-Z song: He’s got 99 problems and a sponsor is one. |
| 25 |
25 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
He's one of only two rookies who has even had a start at a road course. Scott Wimmer is the other. Of course, Kasey Kahne will still finish second this weekend. |