Track Smack: Pocono

Busy week for Track Smack this week. We are joined by fan Suzy Lang and driver Jamie "Don't Call Me MacMary" McMurray.

Wasn't that one of the craziest races you've ever seen? What can we learn from it?

Jamie McMurray: They need more oil dry at Dover. It wasn't so bad for me because I was torn up. I was just trying to survive the race. But I imagine if I were a leader, it would have been boring.

Marty Smith: Absolutely it was one of the craziest races I've ever seen. What can we learn from it? How about that NASCAR has GOT to do something about these long cautions and that it's time to remedy the issue of mangled cars cruising around for a handful of championship points.

Lee Montgomery: Wasn't it Jamie who said it looked like an ARCA race? You were right dude, it was nuts. NASCAR had better get this scoring deal figured out, or there are going to be more problems.

Ryan Smithson: One thing I learned is that we've really underestimated Mark Martin this year. His car was not a great car, not even a winning car even, but he has been running up front, and we have not noticed. If they ever fix their reliability issues, he will explode with top fives.

Suzanne Lang: I thought it was crazy. Really exciting. They take too long to do it though. You could take a nap in the time they take.

Marty Smith: Look, NASCAR is doing whatever it takes to assure the cars are lined up properly, but this is getting ridiculous.

Marty Smith: The five best cars in that race -- the 9, 19, 20, 12 and 48 all went home bent all to hell.

Suzanne Lang: I didn't think 20 had a scratch on him.

Marty Smith: I know this, Matt and Jamie were both quite outspoken after the race about how bad the race was. Kenseth went off about the length of cautions and the fact that the ambulance never got to him. It was a serious cluster.

Send a nice letter Marty Ryan Dave Lee

Marty Smith: You may be right, Suzy. Matter of fact, I think the broadcasters said that very line. Good call.

Lee Montgomery: Jamie, do you have any concerns about the scoring? Or just let NASCAR figure it out?

Jamie McMurray: Yeah, if I had been Matt, I'd been upset too. That was a bad deal for him

Suzanne Lang: Jimmie was pretty upset too.

Marty Smith: Jimmie had every right to be upset, Suzy. That wreck was absurd.

Jamie McMurray: I wish there was way they could perfect that better. It seems like there's confusion with almost every caution these days.

Send a mean letter Marty Ryan Dave Lee

Suzanne Lang: I can't wait to see what happens in the final 10 races.

Marty Smith: Chad Knaus said the wreck actually started on the restart, something about the leaders checking up and getting everybody off-keel.

Lee Montgomery: Was Jimmie whining or upset?

Marty Smith: What kind of question is that?

Suzanne Lang: I think he was right to be upset.

Ryan Smithson: He had a right to whine, Lee. Or upset. Whatever.

Jamie McMurray: Jimmie's was upset with the situation, and maybe did a little bit of whining.

Marty Smith: If you'd had a capable car and been put in the fence, you'd whine/be upset/whoop somebody's tail, too.

Jamie McMurray: Most definitely I would have.

	Time for a haircut, Elliott.

Suzanne Lang: Why does everyone accuse the Hendrick boys of whining?

Jamie McMurray: Most definitely I would have.

Lee Montgomery: I wasn't accusing anyone of whining. Some saw it that way.

Ryan Smithson: Well, Suzy, no one has ever accused Terry Labonte of whining.

Marty Smith: Some need Lasik.

Ryan Smithson: Marty, you think it's time to check these boys' sight? I mean, for real?

Lee Montgomery: What are you talking about, Statboy?

Ryan Smithson: Marty mentioned Lasik.

Lee Montgomery: Who needs their vision checked?

Marty Smith: Nope. It continually amazes me how well they know the dimensions of these racecars. Some of the passes they're making -- Jimmie's 31/9 split at Charlotte -- was phenomenal. No, they don't need Lasik. People who misconstrue driver reactions need vision care.

Jamie McMurray: I've got 20/20 here.

Thoughts on Dale Jr.'s comments about Michael Waltrip's future at DEI?

Jamie McMurray: Let's talk about something worth talking about. Let's talk about Michael's hair.

Suzanne Lang: It is out of hand.

Jamie McMurray: It reminds me of my old 'do.

	Angry-looking Harvick

Lee Montgomery: Same thing as last year. Junior's trying to get Michael going.

Suzanne Lang: I missed it but have often wondered about it.

Lee Montgomery: Let's talk about Jamie's hair.

Marty Smith: I think Junior's comments have legs, otherwise he wouldn't say them. Mikey's not run well until recently. That said, he's running really well of late. I think Junior lit a fire under his hiney.

Jamie McMurray: It reminds me of my old 'do.

Suzanne Lang: Their commercials are hysterical though.

Ryan Smithson: Well, I wish to God I have that much hair at 40. Ain't happening though. And Jamie, I doubt you will either.

Lee Montgomery: The women love the hair, Jamie?

	Mean-looking Gaughan

Jamie McMurray: Going off my dad, I'm in trouble (as far as hair goes).

Marty Smith: I'll have that much hair when I'm 40, but it'll all be gray. I reckon then maybe Waltrip will pass the Just For Men deal on to me.

Ryan Smithson: Marty, if you make a Just for Men's joke.....

Ryan Smithson: I knew it.

Lee Montgomery: Jamie, you'll need a Rogaine deal.

Suzanne Lang: Just shave it all, women like that too.

Ryan Smithson: Jamie, if you think you're going to go bald, then quit wearing hats.

That is the worst thing you can do. See, Newman never wears 'em. Smart boy. He is trying to keep what he has left.

Jamie McMurray: I have to wear hats. They have the Texaco/Havoline logo on them.. Ryan, you would know that if you were featured more in the NASCAR.COM commercial.

Lee Montgomery: Ouch!

Marty Smith: Wow.

Ryan Smithson: Well, it was all Marty. And he did a good job. I was happy with it.

Marty Smith: MacMary, was it funny? Sorry you didn't get a shout out.

Jamie McMurray: Yeah, just wondering. Marty, are you a member of SAG now?

Marty Smith: I'm in the process, yes.

Suzanne Lang: I liked it, but I'm biased

ALSO  Listen to the audio version of Track Smack. The group discusses putting the leader in midpack for a restart.

Ryan Smithson: McMurray, if you had won Brickyard last year, Marty would have screamed it out.

Marty Smith: You need to call me, tell me about royalty money, Jamie.

Lee Montgomery: Instead of JUNIOR! It would've been JAMIE!

Marty Smith: MAAAAAAAACMAARRYYYYYYYY!

Suzanne Lang: Marty I have your shoes.

Marty Smith: You have my shoes?

Suzanne Lang: Yes. I'm going sell them on eBay, OK?

Ryan Smithson: You left them at the photo shoot, dude.

Marty Smith: Explain, please ma'am.

Ryan Smithson: See, he don't even miss 'em.

Marty Smith: Well hell, send 'em back!

Jamie McMurray: Marty, I'm glad you used Junior's name in the commercial. He needs more promoting. Don't worry about poor Carl Long.

Marty Smith: CARL LONG FLIPS 12 TIMES DOWN THE BACK STRAIGHTAWAY AT ROCKINGHAM!

Ryan Smithson: Carl Long got more press than Junior after Rockingham, Jamie!

Jamie McMurray: Yeah, but he wasn't 10 laps down.

Ryan Smithson: (Six Pack line) And that ain't no lie!

Jamie McMurray: That's my favorite movie.

Lee Montgomery: That and Days of Thunder?

Ryan Smithson: You know the Powers Ferry sign, where Brewster Baker got beat up; it's still here in Atlanta. Brewster fought 'em off with the fire extinguisher. Which means he was staying at that hotel to go to Atlanta Motor Speedway. Which is not close to the track. Quite a commute.

Jamie McMurray: Stroker Ace. Clyde Tokler's chicken pit special

Marty Smith: Six Pack rules. Kenny Rogers is the man. I was rockin' The Gambler yesterday in the Pink Panther. Some hot chicks looked at me funny.

Ryan Smithson: Not the first time, Marty.

Marty Smith: True, Smithson.

Predictions for Pocono?

Jamie McMurray: Ryan Newman wins the pole. Shocker.

Ryan Smithson: I am picking Ryan Newman until that poor boy breaks though.

Suzanne Lang: Of course I have to go with Jeff Gordon.

Lee Montgomery: Brilliant.

Jamie McMurray: Can I get some love here?

Dover Predictions  Not a good week. Again.  Marty picked J. Gordon (36th)  Ryan picked Newman (24h)  Lee picked Johnson (37th)

Ryan Smithson: Jamie, let's check your Pocono record.

Jamie McMurray: Let's not.

Lee Montgomery: Here come Statboy.

Marty Smith: If MacMary goes to Victory Lane. I climb atop my house and scream his name from the rooftop.

Ryan Smithson: Ouch. MacMary qualify good, race bad at Pocono.

Marty Smith: Seriously, Jamie will win Pocono this weekend.

Jamie McMurray: You'll only as good as your last and I finished 15th with no rear spoiler or front fender. That should be impressive.

Ryan Smithson: Marty, you got me saying MacMary. And I don't appreciate it.

Jamie McMurray: Tell Statboy I was good at Pocono. We broke a transmission and made up 3 laps

Lee Montgomery: In other words, "Bite me."

Marty Smith: YES! FACE, Statboy. I love it when a driver shoots his stats down.

Suzanne Lang: Wow. It's getting ugly.

Ryan Smithson: Hey, I was trying to be easy on Jamie. Pocono ain't the easiest place. Or the most fun to hang out at.

Marty Smith: You know who else will whoop some tail? Mayfield.

Lee Montgomery: Good choice.

	Mark Martin before winning....

Marty Smith: That dude's about to beat the door down.

Suzanne Lang: I don't really enjoy the Pocono racing.

Jamie McMurray: I like Pocono. I just wish there was something around the track to do.

Lee Montgomery: I'm going to go with Kasey Kahne this weekend.

Jamie McMurray: The race is too long.

Lee Montgomery: Finally gets the first win.

Ryan Smithson: Jamie, you don't like Wilkes-Barre? C'mon. They have a movie theater.

Marty Smith: That's my beef, Jamie. Drop both Pocono races to 300 miles.

	.....and after!

Lee Montgomery: Pocono would be a great place for a 400-lap race.

Jamie McMurray: Lee's smoking something!

Lee Montgomery: Make that miles.

Marty Smith: 400 laps? LeeMo, that's like a thousand miles.

Lee Montgomery: 24 Hours of Pocono. Could race in the infield. Or up and down Highway 115.

Jamie McMurray: Is the infield any good at Pocono?

Lee Montgomery: It ain't Talladega.

Jamie McMurray: Beads anyone?

Ryan Smithson: MacMary, with your Indy money from last year, rent you a chopper during Pocono weekend and commute back and forth from Manhattan.

Suzanne Lang: One of these days, I'll watch a race from the infield.

Ryan Smithson: But Pocono ain't all bad. At least it isn't cookie cutter. And traffic moves well.

Jamie McMurray: First off, it's McMurray. Second. I'm conservative. I don't want to be MC Hammer one day.

Marty Smith: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ryan Smithson: Now that was funny.

Archive  Read past issues of Track Smack! Only $0.00!

Jamie McMurray: Or better yet, Leif Garrett.

Marty Smith: TOO LEGIT, TOO LEGIT TO QUIT (hey, hey!)

Ryan Smithson: I don't know, Jamie, Leif Garrett still gets chicks.

Lee Montgomery: Barney Hall would love that.

Lee Montgomery: Barney Hall still gets chicks.

Track Smack appears every Wednesday at 11 a.m. ET.

The opinions listed here are solely those of the participants