| 1 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Apparently, he has decided to symbolize his recent hot streak by putting red highlights in his hair. |
| 2 |
4 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
To increase the number of boos, he needs to run a car with a Subway paint scheme that says “Sub Club cards being phased out” on the hood. |
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
After Rusty is retired, we can always revisit his career through the hilarious Days of Thunder re-reruns. |
| 4 |
2 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Report: Video footage discovered of Johnson without a hat |
| 5 |
7 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
You can just hear what Mark Martin was thinking when he saw Kenseth spin out McMurray. “Nooooooo! I’ll have to drive all next year while you two cool things off!” |
| 6 |
8 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
Random thought: If he ate a 10-pack of Krystals, it would probably end his hopes of making the Chase. He’d miss at least four races. |
| 7 |
9 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
If Rusty keeps running well, Newman will start wondering why Wallace’s team isn’t sharing any information. |
| 8 |
5 |
 |
Mark Martin |
"He wants me to drive until I'm 90,"' Martin said of Roush. Which means he only has to stick it out for four more years. |
| 9 |
14 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
“It is going to be weird without Waltrip,” Earnhardt Jr. said. Which means someone else will have to drive him to the commercial shoots. |
| 10 |
6 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
Buzzcut connoisseur. Dodge pitchman. And serial dog purchaser. |
| 11 |
18 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
When he won at Pocono in June – we’re not making this up – he spent the previous night riding in the back of a truck after their plane was forced to land at an unfamiliar airport. |
| 12 |
16 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
If Tony’s hair was any redder on Sunday, it would have looked like Vickers’. |
| 13 |
20 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
When he wins, are they going to try to put boxes of cereal on his car? Will Kurt try to hug him in victory lane? Will champagne be allowed? Will any of Kasey Kahne’s teen-age female fans jump ship? |
| 14 |
21 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
There’s some dumb rumors that Labonte is looking to leave the No. 18 even though he’s under contract until 2090. But it would have been cool to see Stewart invite Labonte to climb the flagstand with him. Wait, no. Labonte has a wife and kids. |
| 15 |
10 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Never underestimate the power of Power Rankings. Instead of playing golf, Benny Parsons spent the offseason working on transforming “MacMary” to “Mic (long pause) Murray.” He has a long pause in the middle, but the progress is phenomenal. |
| 16 |
13 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
It looks like he’s going to be on the Chase bubble again. Remember that crazed look in his eye when he missed the Chase last year? You think those cameramen are praying he makes the Chase this year? |
| 17 |
11 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
It seems like it takes his old body 15 races to get warmed up, but man, his resurgence here recently has been a good story. It hasn’t been earth-shattering, but a win would hardly be surprising. |
| 18 |
15 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
He is going to be with MB2 Motorsports in the No. 01 Chevy for a long time, which relieved his mother, who has 1,000 man-hours of labor invested in the Army fatigues she wears on pit road. |
| 19 |
23 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Report: DEI, Waltrip agree to stop making commercials |
| 20 |
19 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
His car was tighter than a snare drum all day at Loudon. It reminded us of our second-favorite Ward Burton quote of all time: "Hey Tommy (Baldwin), when I go to turn da cah, it won’t turn!" |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
A lot of teen-age girls were mad we left him off the Power Rankings last week. 100 of them emailed us in a rage. 50 of them were named Britney, 49 of them were named Whitney and one was named Bertha. |
| 22 |
11 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
To quote a line from 1980’s Airplane: Looks like he picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. If you didn’t get that movie reference, you’re Kyle Busch. |
| 23 |
24 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Report: Mears admits he just now learned to understand Marlin |
| 24 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
The only thing that would have injected some humor into the whole situation would have been if Gordon had told NBC, “I don’t see how this can get any worse,” only to have the police arrest him during the interview for the attempted battery of Mike Bliss. |
| 25 |
22 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Speaking of Nemechek, Harvick might want to come to a truce or something with Joe. Since their little spat in the All-Star Challenge, Harvick has slid from seventh to 14th in the points. |
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