| 1 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
That was a very bizarre moment when the camera showed Stewart laying down on the wall. With Stewart's bulging mid-section sticking up, it looked like Allen Bestwick was about to come over and induce labor. |
| 2 |
2 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He said if he won Indy, he'd not only kiss the bricks, he'd lick them. Tony Stewart was going to lick the bricks, but only if they were covered in ice cream. |
| 3 |
7 |
 |
Mark Martin |
His different paint schemes are way confusing. I thought Boris Said's car was Mark Martin's for half of the race. I didn't realize the error until I saw part of Boris' hair seeping out of the window net. |
| 4 |
3 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He went to Budapest during the off-weekend last week, but he was still recognized despite the fact that he pulled a knit cap over his ears. |
| 5 |
8 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He still hasn't gotten on the phone with Jamie McMurray. Try the salon on Wednesdays, Matt. |
| 6 |
12 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He was never able to get around Brian Vickers in the closing laps because Vickers' car blinded him. |
| 7 |
10 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Incredible. Benny Parsons actually said "Garnier Fructis" perfectly. On the first try. |
| 8 |
4 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He had the quote of the weekend: "[Jeff] Gordon is not a Hoosier. He's just not proud of being from San Francisco." |
| 9 |
9 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
He is running a back-to-school paint scheme this weekend at Watkins Glen. You know, Carl used to be a substitute teacher. But substitute teachers don't get the hot chicks. At least they didn't at my high school in Tennessee. But they did get $19 a day. |
| 10 |
NR |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
Man, that was an awfully white car he drove Sunday. The design obviously was inspired by Jeremy Mayfield's teeth. |
| 11 |
5 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
His Subway-sandwich-sitting-on-the-legs commercial appeared during Monday Night Football, weirding out an additional 20 million people. |
| 12 |
19 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He's had just one finish worse than 25th all season. Which means he hasn't been to Wrigley Field in awhile. |
| 13 |
6 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
When he pulled away from the pits with the catch-can, the catch-can had a huge Lowe's logo on it. Someone actually sat in a meeting and said: "We need to put a Lowe's sticker on the catch-can just in case we leave it on the car. The TV cameras are bound to pick it up, and that'll be worth an extra $50,000 of exposure." |
| 14 |
16 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
His brother is getting married, and Kyle obviously is in the wedding -- but it's unclear whether he will be the best man or the ring-bearer. |
| 15 |
15 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
I've been thinking: There is a way to help out Mark Martin. Roush Racing should just put Ryan Cabrera in the car for a year. He looks like McMurray enough. The sport is all about marketing, right? Is it too late to get together a Busch/ARCA deal for Cabrera? |
| 16 |
14 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
He's back to being the shortest full-time driver at Joe Gibbs Racing. |
| 17 |
21 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
The Dukes of Hazzard will win an Oscar for Best Picture before Gordon makes the Chase. But you never know. We've had upsets at the Academy Awards before. |
| 18 |
17 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
His Chase hopes are very much alive because he's got some good tracks coming up. But you have to wonder what his reaction will be if he gets punted on the final lap at Richmond to miss getting in by a point. |
| 19 |
13 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
I guess you heard the chants of "Tony! Tony! Tony!" while Stewart was celebrating. Well, that wasn’t for Stewart. Those were actually Dale Jr. fans who demanded the return of Eury Jr. |
| 20 |
11 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
The Rudd at The Glen. |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Casey Mears |
It seems like the more money they offer (Vegas, Texas, Indy) the better he has run this year. Which is why he struggles so badly at Martinsville. |
| 22 |
18 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
A really mean fan wrote us and informed us she calls him Joe "Needseyeschecked." |
| 23 |
23 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
So it's being reported that Mikey might come back to DEI after all. Maybe all he wanted was a million-dollar raise. After Mikey said he would be leaving, DEI officials found out it would actually cost 21 times that to re-shoot all those commercials. |
| 24 |
24 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
We reported last week that he went to Mexico for vacation. We'd like to run an official retraction, because he didn't go. Apparently, Sadler had trouble getting a direct flight from Emporia to Cancun. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Kyle Petty |
Hey mom! I've led more laps this year than Dale Jr.! Yes, I am serious! |
