Credit: CIA Stock Photo

Track Smack: Darlington

Guys, are we stuck with restrictor plates in NASCAR?

Elliott Gordon: Unfortunately, I think so. I mean, how long have we had the carburetor restrictor plates, like 18 years or something like that? If a solution hasn't been found yet, I doubt there is one on the horizon, don't you think?

Ryan Smithson: I've heard people say they can shave the banking down to slow down the cars, but it does not seem viable. It's a lot easier to add banking than take it off. And it might turn into another boring Indy event.

Dave Rodman: Short of putting the cars in a configuration that resembles a truck -- I would say we are. 200 is out -- so if the brightest minds in motorsports can't come up with anything better. Yeah, we're stuck.

Marty Smith: For the time being, absolutely. NASCAR hasn't been overly proactive in finding an alternative, and simply taking them off, as so many people want them to do, isn't an option. The fear of a car getting turned backwards and flipping into the grandstand is huge.

Elliott Gordon: Look, given the costs of repairing a wrecked plate car, can't we just go to a 6-cylinder car with no plates and let them race?

Ryan Smithson: Heck, Elliott, make them race Pontiac Sunfires. That will slow them down.

Elliott Gordon: A straight six like my old 1979 280zx!

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Marty Smith: That would be a huge cost, too, Elliott. It would require an entire R&D effort in unto itself.

Ryan Smithson: I had a 1980 280ZX. Great car.

Marty Smith: My Daddy had a 1993 300Z. Sky blue. That thing was rad.

Dave Rodman: No. The V6 qualifying record at Daytona 12 years ago was 194 mph. So they would go over 200, too.

Elliott Gordon: Not with the new aero packages they wouldn't, Dave.

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Dave Rodman: Marty's right. You don't want to get into the V6 development costs -- especially after they went that route for a number of years, then turned their back on it.

Elliott Gordon: It doesn't matter anyway. Let's just blame Jimmie Johnson for why we have plate races, because he has been blamed for everything else that happened at Dega.

Ryan Smithson: I know it'll never, ever happen, but it would be nice to see the Nextel Cup Series run a Craftsman Truck body.

Marty Smith: Man, my buddy suggested they take a clear Lexan spoiler and put it on the nose of the Cup cars to create a boxier body. I thought that was a pretty innovative idea.

Dave Rodman: That's what I already said. Straighten up the windshield. Raise the roof. Put a barn door on the back. Might work.

You should have seen the high-res version. Credit: Getty Images/Jamie Squire

Elliott Gordon: With a V6 rental car, Dave could probably make the race before Robby Gordon would.

Marty Smith: I love it when dudes like Elliott, who never have to face drivers, come on Track Smack and run their piehole unabashedly. Elliott, we'll see you at the track next Speedweeks.

Elliott Gordon: Hey, I like Robby a lot, but you can't tell me he doesn't have problems.

Weeks ago he said he was sticking with Menards engines -- and where has that gotten him?

Elliott Gordon: At least he doesn't have to repair a wrecked plate car!

Marty Smith: Sure he has problems, and he'll admit it. But saying Dave could outrun him in a rental is as degrading as it gets.

Ryan Smithson: Dave would be late to get to the race so Robby would win by default anyway.

Elliott Gordon: Robby vs. Rodman -- pay per view!

Ryan Smithson: Robby gets more chicks than Rodman. That is just a guess though.

Marty Smith: I wouldn't pay my middle school lunch money to see that.

Dave Rodman: That would be a fun outing -- if the deductible was waived. Well -- he was single last time I checked, too...

Marty Smith: I'd use that buck-fifty to buy some Topps Baseball Cards. I think Topps got half my Daddy's retirement.

Who has the best driver-owner relationship? Who has the best driver-crew chief relationship?

Elliott Gordon: How fast can Marty get out the 48 team?

Marty Smith: You said it, not me, jerk. .

Ryan Smithson: It's hard to beat the Matt Borland-Ryan Newman combo. I'll bet they stay together for 15 years.

Time to go huntin, Martin. Credit: AP

Marty Smith: I'd agree with you on that, Smithson, so long as Rusty accepts Penske's buyout proposal. Otherwise, Matt and Ryan could possibly split.

Elliott Gordon: My vote is for Biffle-Richert-Roush. It may not last forever, but the going is good now and we all know Biffle can wheel a car.

Dave Rodman: Driver/owner is probably Rick Hendrick and Jeff Gordon. Driver/crew chief is probably JJ and Chad Knaus -- Chad has made Jimmie about 90 percent of everything he is in Cup racing, IMHO.

Elliott Gordon: Uh oh, those are fighting words!

Ryan Smithson: Marty, time to open up Rodman again I guess. After you knock him down, go to a neutral corner.

Marty Smith: My vote for best owner/driver is Jeff Gordon/Rick Hendrick. Best driver/crew chief is Johnson/Knaus. There is no debating that.

Marty Smith: No, there's no doubt Knaus has been a huge part of Johnson's success.

Dave Rodman: Based on a pretty simple and well-known premise -- Busch Series vs. Cup. Look at the results. What's the biggest difference? Jimmie could always drive -- but so can everyone else in Nextel Cup.

Elliott Gordon: I wonder if Carl Edwards can drive in Cup after he plowed into the Dega massacre! Ha.

All right man, I am ready. Credit: AP

Ryan Smithson: Elliott, don't bash Carl too bad, he probably locked a tire. Like you could have stopped that thing!

Dave Rodman: Oh God -- you can't go to a track until Speedweeks 2006, E! That was pretty rich -- saying "I couldn't stop" after he zoomed by Tony Stewart -- who was in the process of stopping short of the pileup. The power of experience, pure and simple.

Dave Rodman: The biggest failing Chad has is he can't smack the whining out of him.

Ryan Smithson: I can't remember the last time a driver was successful without working well with his crew chief. It used to be possible, but with the competition these days, those times are over.

Elliott Gordon: I will probably just have another kid so I can avoid Speedweeks again anyway.

Elliott Gordon: Nothing like working from home!

Dave Rodman: So that was all it was. Of course he can drive. He just made a mistake, there.

Marty Smith: Elliott Gordon is basically offering an invitation to have his ass kicked. And since he's about 86 pounds, soaking wet, someone could sneeze on his pansy ass and that'd be all she wrote.

Elliott Gordon: I think I am up to 90 when wearing my Ward Burton T-shirt.

Marty Smith: You're an idiot.

Ryan Smithson: He's 91 pounds if he is holding his baby.

Is the upcoming night before Mother's Day event at Darlington the last Nextel Cup event at that track?

Marty Smith: No. Ticket sales are huge and Darlington at night is rad. Here's hoping this is the start of a great new tradition.

Dave Rodman: No way -- unless ISC was simply playing a charade all along. Chris Browning engineered a pre-race sell-out -- on Mother's Day weekend! Unprecedented!

Elliott Gordon: Yeah, I am with Marty. I think this race is going to be great -- just sorry Ward isn't going to be there to get some stripes.

Ryan Smithson: It's going to be an awfully long night.

Elliott Gordon: Not for the 24 team. I think they are going back to victory lane.

Elliott Gordon: Since 1996, Gordon's average starting position is 5 at Darlington. That is sick.

Ryan Smithson: Go by momentum, not track history.

Jay Leno! Credit: Getty Images/Rusty Jarrett

Marty Smith: Most folks said ISC was setting Darlington up to fail. It sucks that we're not in Darlington on Labor Day anymore, but if this makes for better attendance, I'm all for it. Jeff Burton said it best: I don't care if nobody comes, we best be racing at Darlington.

Ryan Smithson: But it's still Gordon.

Marty Smith: My cash is on Biffle.

Dave Rodman: Now, they simply need to give them a more workable date, which again is not ISC's forward-thinking strong suit --or NASCAR's either, it doesn't seem like.

Dave Rodman: At any rate, if they can dodge the raindrops and execute all their pit stops, I think it's going to be two-in-a-row for Jeff and Robbie and the boys. When was the last time someone won two-in-a-row, anyway?

Ryan Smithson: Johnson. He won like 16 in a row last fall.

Elliott Gordon: And still fell 8 points short.

Marty Smith: Johnson last fall, Dave. It was only a few months ago. Take your ginseng.

Dave Rodman: Oh yeah -- how could I have forgotten that?

Ryan Smithson: Age.

Elliott Gordon: What are the chances Gordon can get double-digit wins this season?

I mean, if he wins Saturday, that is four already.

Ryan Smithson: He won't get 10 wins. No one can.

Ryan Smithson: Come on Marty, I know you agree.

Marty Smith: Slim, Elliott. 10 wins is a long shot. Yeah, I agree Smithson

Elliott Gordon: I am going to buy that shirt.

Dave Rodman: Talk about short memories -- how many did Chad and JJ win last year?

Ryan Smithson: It is tougher to get 10 wins now than it was to get 13 in 1998.

Marty Smith: They won eight, Rodman. Eight. Say it with me now. "Eight."

Dave Rodman: Tough? Sure. But 10 is doable.

Elliott Gordon: I think it is still possible. Look, if he wins Darlington, that is 4 -- then give him Sonoma and Watkins. That is six easy.

Ryan Smithson: They won eight, Rodman, and last time I checked, adding two wins on top of eight is asking for a 25-percent increase. Anything over 10 percent is a huge jump.

Marty Smith: That's two less than double-digits.

Dave Rodman: They are as apt to rip off a couple as they are to choke -- so bottom line is, it's feasible. I can't say that about many other teams.

Elliott Gordon: Problem is, even if he did get 10 wins, he will still lose the championship by 2 points.

The opinions listed here are solely those of the participants.