And Pamela Anderson was on hand for the all-star race exactly why ... ? Credit: Autostock

Cross' Words: All-Star?

Next year, I think I'll pass on the "all-star" concept and just spend a Saturday night catching up on laundry.

The 21st annual Nextel All-Star Challenge -- which in itself is a farce; anyone remember "The Winston"? -- was a joke. In that drunk uncle that no one likes to talk about way. Which is to say, it was bad. And it left too many disturbing, unanswered questions:

	He said: What are you doing here? She said: What are YOU doing here? Credit: Autostock
	ALL-STAR CHALLENGE •   Results •   Lap-by-Lap Recap NEXTEL OPEN •   Results •   Lap-by-Lap Recap Final lapsMartin takes the checkers, wins $1M in the All-Star Challenge Heated exchangeNemechek, Harvick have words after a 10-car wreck All-Star CoverageComplete video highlights of the Open and Challenge Sign up for TrackPass now BUY YOUR NEXTEL DRIVER PHONE

• Can someone get Chris Myers' libido a cup of ice?

• Can someone explain the rock-star entrances -- of the crew members?

• Can someone explain Martin Truex Jr. even being on the ballot for the fans' voting? He's started fewer Cup races this year than Stanton Barrett!

I'm all for corporate sponsorship. It's the golden egg that NASCAR has laid. But let's not lose sight of the fact that just because you pony up more money than many third-world country's GDP that you cannot slap your name on an event and erase history.

And thanks, DW, for dropping in "The Winston" no less than twice during the broadcast; people need to be reminded that Nextel is the latest Johnny-come-lately to a sport with too many johns already.

It was the 21st all-star race, but only the second Nextel Challenge. So maybe someone can pull the marketing gag from the fans' throats and we can get on to ...

Chris Myers, who looked like a buffoon while "interviewing" -- the technical term, not the applied science -- Pamela (Are my breasts exposed enough?) Anderson. Stacked? Yeah, we get it. Funny. Ha ha. I'm slapping my knee it's so gosh darn funny. LMAO, in fact.

What, it was FX so let's go the it's-on-cable excuse route and show what a boob the network really is? And speaking of boobs ...

Show some class, No. 12 crew. It's an all-star race -- not a mosh pit. No one appreciates the over-the-wall gangs more than knowledgeable fans. However, bouncing around like a bunch of frat boys during Rush was a bit over the top. Ever heard the phrase "act like you've been there before"? Didn't think so.

Finally, convince me of why a driver who has competed in 18 percent of the Cup races should be voted into the all-star race? C'mon, folks! The event should be a reward for the series' full-time drivers. The criteria for getting into the race is already convoluted enough:

• Winners from the current season.
• Winners from the previous season.
• Previous all-star race winners.
• Previous Cup series champions.
• Winner of the Nextel Open.
• Fans' vote -- of the most charismatic DEI driver not named Junior or Mikey.

Yeah, we get it. Dale Earnhardt, died. Junior, heir to the throne. Mikey, hand-picked driver. The tragedy. The sorrow. ... It's been four years; get over it. DEI doesn't guarantee success, or victories, or Cup championships. But apparently it gets you a ticket to the dance. Whether you deserve it or not is not for debate.

If it's an all-star event, treat it like one. If not, don't go all Joe Nemechek-on-Kevin Harvick when Felix Escalona takes Derek Jeter's spot in the MLB All-Star Game.

Inside the Numbers Last 10 races at Charlotte Category Driver No. Starts 16 drivers 10 Poles R. Newman 4 Wins J. Johnson 3 Top-5s B. Labonte 5 Top-10s T. Stewart 8 Laps Led J. Johnson 836 DNFs R. Craven 4 Avg. Start R. Newman 2.25 Avg. Finish B. Labonte 7.30

Flags

• Red -- At Charlotte: Dave Blaney has only one top-10 finish in 10 races ... Robby Gordon has never posted a top-15 finish in nine races ... Jeff Green has finished 19th or worse in nine races ... Kyle Petty hasn't had a top-10 finish in his last 10 races ... Ricky Rudd hasn't scored a top-15 finish in his last five races ... Ken Schrader hasn't finished in the top 10 in his last 10 races.

• Yellow -- At Charlotte: Greg Biffle has never posted a top-15 finish in four races ... Elliott Sadler has only two top-10 finishes in 13 races ... Ryan Newman has only three top-10 finishes in eight races ... Mark Martin hasn't scored a top-10 finish in his last five races.

• Green -- At Charlotte: Jeff Gordon leads all active drivers with seven Bud Poles ... Gordon and Mark Martin lead all active drivers with four victories ... Martin leads all active drivers with 15 top-five finishes in 40 races ... Martin has led 1,148 laps, more than any other active driver ... Ricky Rudd leads all active drivers with 25 top-10 finishes in 57 races ... Ryan Newman has a 2.25 starting average in eight races, best of all 479 drivers that have competed at the track since 1960.

Pam Anderson"Stacked" star excited about the All-Star Challenge One-on-OneMarty Smith talks with Pamela Anderson at the race Sign up for TrackPass now BUY YOUR NEXTEL DRIVER PHONE

Quote, Unquote

"You've started a lot of engines."
-- FX's Chris Myers, to grand marshal Pamela Anderson.

Around the Track

• There have been only three different pole winners in the last eight races at Charlotte. Ryan Newman (4) and Jimmie Johnson (2) are the repeat Bud Pole winners, while Jimmy Spencer won the pole in October 2001. Qualifying was rained out in the fall of 2002. The pole at Charlotte has been swept 14 times. Ryan Newman (2003) was the most recent driver to win both poles in a year.

• Jimmie Johnson scored victories in both Charlotte races in 2004. He was the only driver with top-five finishes in both races there last year.

• Four drivers -- Dale Earnhardt Jr., Jamie McMurray, Elliott Sadler and Tony Stewart -- posted top-10 finishes in both races at Charlotte in 2004.

Up Next

Lowe's Motor Speedway

E-MAIL Got something to say to Duane?

• There have been nine different race winners in the last 11 races at Charlotte. Jimmie Johnson (May 2003, both races last year) is the only repeat race winner since the fall of 1999.

• Jeff Gordon has won seven poles in 24 races at Charlotte (29 percent). He is second only to David Pearson with 14 poles in 46 races (30 percent) -- including 11 consecutive from Fall 1973 through 1978.

• Bobby Allison and Darrell Waltrip with six victories are the all-time winners at Charlotte.

Fantasy Perspective

• Bobby Labonte's average finish of 7.3 tops all drivers in the past 10 races at Charlotte. Jimmie Johnson is second at 8.2 and Jamie McMurray is third at 9.0.

• In the past five years at Charlotte, Labonte and Tony Stewart both have the most top-fives (5 each) and top-10s: Stewart (8) and Labonte (7).

• Kurt Busch has competed in nine races at Charlotte, scoring just one top-10 finish. His best finish is a fourth-place showing in October 2004.

The opinions listed here are solely those of the writer.