| 1 |
2 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Report: Kenseth not diagnosed with overactive adrenaline disorder |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Report: Scott Wimmer’s sponsors delighted with exposure generated by Johnson’s spin in qualifying, shared pit stalls |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
His car was recently voted the least likely to get accidentally shot by deer hunters. |
| 4 |
6 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Like I said, I eat Subway about every day. This happened last week:
"We’re out of bread, sir."
"Out of bread? What can I put the chicken and the toppings in?"
"I dunno. I guess a cup."
|
| 5 |
4 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
So he said this weekend that Budweiser likes to limit his Busch appearances so that fans will have no trouble associating him in the red No. 8 car.
Here’s the fiction part: I’ll tell you, if he ran an extended Busch or Truck schedule like Carl Edwards, I’d really have a hard time remembering his Cup sponsor, and so would everyone else, because Junior gets almost no attention from the biased media. |
| 6 |
9 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
He is on a roll again. I can just hear what Jeremy Mayfield said after his team got fined and docked points last week: "Can’t you guys just take some of Kasey’s owners points for my team’s violation?" |
| 7 |
10 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
I keep getting emails decrying Delana Harvick’s habit of not removing her hat for the national anthem. There are greater issues in NASCAR, trust me. Let’s devote our time to making sure we give Derrike Cope a flash card he can hold out the window when he needs to pit. |
| 8 |
7 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
He has got to be wondering what he has to go to get into the Gillette Young Guns. |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Dadgum, y’all sent a lot of emails after I had Martin ranked 12th last week. Which ended up being pretty accurate. This week, he is ranked one spot for every word he said after the race. |
| 10 |
14 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Nice run. It’s a good thing that he won that race back in 2002 while subbing for Sterling Marlin, because the only time FOX evens mentions Sterling anymore is when they helpfully point out that Jamie once won in Sterling’s car. |
| 11 |
5 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Report: Stewart much friendlier to reporters while injured |
| 12 |
8 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
Actual question and answer this week:
Question: If you have another incident, you are facing suspension. Is that going to change how you react?
Kyle’s answer: You basically have to go the Carl Edwards route. Oh shucks. Darn. We wrecked. We'll just have to come back and get them next week.
What Carl’s retort should have been: Well, golly gee, I just have to thank Jack Roush for allowing me to backflip over Kyle Busch’s head and crane-kick him. Oh shucks. Darn.
|
| 13 |
15 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
I guess you saw he was fined $50,000 for throwing his HANS at Casey Mears. If Kyle had thrown his huge sunglasses at Mears, his punishment would have been a lifetime ban, because Mears would have very likely suffered a serious injury. |
| 14 |
11 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
His losing streak is only slightly longer than Larry McReynolds’ necktie. |
| 15 |
16 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He’s back to normal. You know, like winning the pole, losing the lead right off the bat, and then trying to win with fuel mileage. |
| 16 |
13 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
Report: Riggs only Bahama, N.C. resident with a new Dodge Charger SRT8 |
| 17 |
19 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
I am shocked. His face looked pretty tan. It's a byproduct of those metal sunglasses reflecting some UV rays onto his skin. |
| 18 |
22 |
 |
Reed Sorenson |
Definition of irony: If Mears leaves and if Ganassi pulls Stremme for both road course events, Reed Sorenson will be the team’s most experienced driver if Mears is replaced by a rookie. |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
I can almost hear what Jimmie Johnson was thinking when he was on the 43’s bumper late in the race: "Dang it! I wish this lap car would get out of my way!" |
| 20 |
18 |
 |
Jeff Green |
Report: Jeff Green fails to check his horoscope for 6,413th straight day |
| 21 |
20 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
Report: Jarrett, Waltrip racing side-by-side for 32nd spot in battle between future teammates |
| 22 |
21 |
 |
Clint Bowyer |
He won’t make the Chase this year, but it will be very impressive if he is able to finish better than 19th, which is where Kyle Busch finished last year. Although emulating Kyle would cost a lot of money. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
Report: Mayfield re-injures Stewart’s shoulder in latest Nextel commercial |
| 24 |
24 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Report: Mears totally checking out jayski.com every hour to see where he will drive for next season |
| 25 |
23 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
His morale has got to be only slighter higher than morale of the actor they use to wear a Whopper suit in the new Burger King commercials. "I wish I had never been broiled!" |
