| 1 |
4 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Report: Major university study finds that Stewart got more media attention for not killing anyone Saturday night than Harvick did for winning race |
| 2 |
6 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
I was going to put Kyle No. 1, but I declined. I was scared the editors at NASCAR.COM would use a picture of Kyle and no one would click on it. |
| 3 |
1 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Report: NASCAR will be forced to change points system again after Kenseth wins title |
| 4 |
2 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
Actual question asked to Denny on Tuesday:
Question: With you and other young drivers, other first-timers in the Chase, do you think the power structure might be making a bit of a shift in NASCAR?
Denny: I'm kind of confused on what you mean there.
What the reporter meant: Is Jeff Burton a "young driver?" And has Kevin Harvick's hair loss leveled off? |
| 5 |
7 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
Report: Women from Allstate commercial remove college fund money from kids' accounts so they can attend final 10 races |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Oh man. He's in the Chase. If he wins the title, he might actually have to upgrade to Lee jeans. |
| 7 |
10 |
 |
Mark Martin |
I could almost hear his post-race interview. "Mark, congrats on making the Chase! So where you driving next year?" |
| 8 |
5 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
I am really disappointed that he isn't on Dancing with the Stars, but I can understand that the Chase is a stressful thing and demands his full attention. |
| 9 |
9 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
He should just give up and go by Jimmy. That is how everyone spells it anyway. |
| 10 |
16 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Jeff Burton, this is B.P. in the booth. You got me? ... Hello? ... Hello? |
| 11 |
13 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He used to have 38 hunting dogs. Now, sources are placing that number at 35. So since he no longer gets free Pedigree dog food, it means three of them have already died from eating fried bologna burgers. |
| 12 |
8 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
7 Days: Tony Stewart's monkey |
| 13 |
11 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
Everyone brags about how strong he is, but can he bench-press Jimmy Spencer? No way. |
| 14 |
14 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
Report: Miller Lite officials really glad no one remembers their preseason bet that Kurt Busch would beat Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the standings |
| 15 |
12 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
He is locked into a tremendous battle with Jamie McMurray for 18th in the standings. And if he hadn't missed Daytona ... |
| 16 |
19 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
One of these days, when I am really bored at Subway, I am going to take my sandwich back up to the counter and say, "I am sorry. Can I get a little more hair on my sandwich?" |
| 17 |
24 |
 |
Clint Bowyer |
They should have had a camera focused on Clint when he heard that Tony missed the Chase. It might have recorded Clint's first on-air laugh of the year. |
| 18 |
20 |
 |
Ken Schrader |
Ken Schrader? Seventh place? Is that really you?
Schrader, with mouthful of snack cake: Maybe. |
| 19 |
15 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
His losing streak is only slightly longer than Paul Menard's sideburns. |
| 20 |
NR |
 |
Dave Blaney |
This almost happened last Saturday. Imagine Bill Weber's prose: "Blaney holds off Kyle Busch at the line! Blaney wins it! Now let's go down to pit road, where Dave Burns is standing by with 17th-place Dale Earnhardt Jr.!" |
| 21 |
17 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Hey man. You're totally running out of time to grow your hair out for that 25 car. At the very least, work on that pensive side-of-face look that Vickers perfected for the Garnier ads. |
| 22 |
23 |
 |
J.J. Yeley |
Dude, I think they accidentally gave your Richmond car to Tony Stewart. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Robby Gordon |
Robby, if you want to throw your helmet at Michael Waltrip this year, you better do it during his qualifying lap. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Reed Sorenson |
I really feel he has improved more than any driver this season. He hasn't been in stock cars long, and he's only 20. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Crickets. |
