| 1 |
2 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Go ahead and schedule that eyebrow wax and body wrap for the title ceremony. Except for a brief mid-summer hiccup, this has been the best team all year, and they've won the big races. Give him back Talladega, and he'd be leading by more than 100 points. |
| 2 |
4 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
Everyone complained about the glare on Sunday, including the fans in Turn 1 at Phoenix, who were absolutely blinded by the reflection from Carl's teeth every time he approached. |
| 3 |
5 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
"If I was smart enough," Hamlin said last week, "I'd really like to win a Nobel Peace Prize." Oh, Denny. We're so proud of you. |
| 4 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Jamie McMurray had the quote of the week: "I guess I'll buy my Irwin tools at Lowe's." |
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
He got married in Mexico last week. After the ceremony, the happy couple was pushed down the church steps by a member of Scott Riggs' crew. |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
I totally forgot to include his Impala quote from Atlanta two weeks ago. "My grandmother drives an Impala," he said. |
| 7 |
10 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
They are having a contest to be Kahne's assistant next year at Darlington. Seriously, it is located at kaseykahnedreamjob.com. I just hope the winner doesn't bring her kids. |
| 8 |
11 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Report: Harvick undefeated in Nextel Cup competition since getting shoved |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Mark Martin |
I will be watching to see if the entire Roush camp -- all 65,000 of them -- comes out on pit road to high-five Martin during his final race with the team on Sunday. The Gibbs guys did it for Labonte last year, and it's a cool thing to see. |
| 10 |
13 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
Sheriff Joe Arpaio made Kurt an honorary deputy last week. Only one problem: He called him "Kyle." Maybe he didn't recognize the post-surgery Kurt. |
| 11 |
16 |
 |
Casey Mears |
When I think of Homestead, I will always think of how Mears pretty much got robbed there last year. |
| 12 |
7 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
I had to laugh when Jayski said that Kyle had launched a new site and warned that it was a "flash site." Oh no! IT HAS FLASH! THE HUMANITY! |
| 13 |
15 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Heez ownluh skowuhd won leed layup feeyunish scense Wahd's retuhn. |
| 14 |
8 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
His finishes have declined for three consecutive weeks, leading the media to reduce the number of "Can you make the Chase?" questions they will ask in February. |
| 15 |
9 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
I loved it when Dave Burns asked Robbie Reiser late in the race, "Where is the car at, Robbie?" If I were Robbie, I would have said, "Well, right now, it's on the backstretch." |
| 16 |
14 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Report: Pat Tryson relieved he won't be humiliated by having sandwich thrown in his face |
| 17 |
17 |
 |
Clint Bowyer |
He went on an F-16 ride in the desert last week and didn't even get sick. His crew chief did though. He should have eaten bananas because they are easy to re-ingest. Tasty. |
| 18 |
18 |
 |
Kyle Petty |
It will be Kyle vs. Sterling for that final top-35 owner standing spot. And you know what the great thing about that is? When figuring up the stats scenario, you don't have to figure in that whole "wins and leads the most laps" thing. |
| 19 |
NR |
 |
David Gilliland |
This guy reminds me of a quote from Major League, after the Cleveland Indians perform respectably despite no experience. "You know, these guys ain't so [bleeping] bad." |
| 20 |
NR |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Last week, while deer hunting, he had to chase an injured deer that had run into a pond. Elliott was up to his chin in water. Can y'all imagine Kasey Kahne doing that? Especially now that he has to shave for the Gillette Young Guns program? |
| 21 |
23 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
The media totally ignored the impact of the suspended crew member in regards to Riggs' performance. I would have created flow charts detailing how Riggs' pit stops suffered or improved. I would have analyzed Riggs' mental state and how the incident affected his driving style. I simply didn't have time to do all that. But I hope to. Not. |
| 22 |
24 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Report: Vickers comforted by fact that Johnson didn't get invite to Gordon-Vandebosch wedding either |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
Poor guy. Running well, gets wrecked. He had the second-best quote of the week, too. I am paraphrasing, but he said, "We'll go to Atlanta and work hard there." |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Crown Royal was offering rides last weekend for people who risked getting pulled over by the police. See, if they had done this program last year, Kurt Busch wouldn't have missed the final two races. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
J.J. Yeley |
You know what he got for his birthday last month? A front clip. |
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