Kevin Grubb will get his first opportunity at redemption at Nashville in the No. 56 Chevrolet. Credit: Autostock

Second chance gives Grubb fresh outlook

In the moment, it is virtually impossible to find optimism in a personal setback. Human nature disallows it; the ol' woe is me factor.

But with time comes clarity, understanding where the adversity fits in the grand plan, even appreciation for its necessity.

	Kevin Grubb
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Kevin Grubb can attest to that.

"I've learned a lot, that's for sure," Grubb said. "I've made some pretty big mistakes and paid for every one of them. This whole experience has made me a lot wiser."

When Grubb eases through the tunnel at Nashville Superspeedway on Saturday morning, it will mark his first appearance at a NASCAR-sanctioned event in more than two years.

Suspended indefinitely in March 2004 after violating NASCAR's substance abuse policy, Grubb was bewildered, uncertain of his place in the world. He was certain of just one thing -- it was time he got his priorities straight.

"Unbelievable. I just couldn't believe it," Grubb said of his reaction to the news he'd been suspended. "When they said that I'd failed a drug test and was suspended indefinitely ... Honestly it felt like my life was coming to an end."

Dejected and filled with self-doubt, Grubb set out to correct things. For the first time in nearly a decade, racing wasn't the focus.

Watching from the sideline as the sport passed by initially was difficult, but as time passed, introspection brought healing.

And along the way came a slew of revelations, mainly that racing is a worthy passion, but far from the end-all be-all; and that family loves you unconditionally.

"Things are a lot different when you're not racing -- you do a lot of soul-searching," Grubb said. "[Sitting out] was tough, don't get me wrong, but for a good, long while I've been working on myself really hard, and getting my life back together. I didn't even work that hard to get back into racing.

"That's all I'd done for so long. Things have changed a lot since then. I've learned that racing's not everything in life. It's something that I cherish and definitely want to get back [into].

"But I think you'll hear from anybody that gets away from the sport for a while, you learn there's other things in life that you don't even know about while you're racing."

	Shane Hmiel Credit: Autostock
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Grubb diligently stayed in contact with NASCAR officials throughout the ordeal, so he knew the call was coming, just wasn't sure when. And when THE ring came, pure elation.

"Oh yeah, I was really excited," Grubb said. "I'd been on the phone a lot, talked with Gary Smith -- God knows how many times -- so it wasn't like I was just sitting around one day and all the sudden got it back."

"It" being his NASCAR license. From a professional standpoint, that was priority one. He spoke with former Busch Series driver Shane Hmiel, who is currently serving an indefinite suspension until at least 2007 for multiple violations of NASCAR's drug policy, to get an understanding of what the program entailed.

He followed it to the letter. And after 27 months and countless urine tests -- "whiz quizzes," he calls them -- Grubb was reinstated earlier this week, and will attempt to qualify the No. 56 MacHill Motorsports Chevrolet for Saturday's Federated Auto Parts 300 at Nashville.

He tested the car at a short track, and admittedly was rusty at first. But after 20 laps he felt right at home.

He doesn't have a specific goal, but he does hope to earn a full-time opportunity.

"I hope that'll happen, and I think it will if I go out there and have some good runs," Grubb said. "The main thing I'm doing is focusing on driving. Trust is earned, and I'm sure I lost a lot of trust with a lot of people.

"But I think if I just stick to what I've been doing, doing the right things, I think I'll earn people's trust back. I took a lot of stuff for granted and definitely regret it.

"Being young, and being out on the road and having a lot of stuff in your face and maybe not having the life experiences to make the right decisions. I definitely have them now."