Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. Credit: CIA Stock Photo

We wonder ...

A wild night at Richmond leaves us asking some big questions

... how does a monkey get a pit pass?

That's right -- Tony Stewart brought his pet monkey, Mojo, to pit road for the pre-race activities.

When I was going to journalism school, I can promise you the thought never even entered my mind that I'd ever write a sentence with both "monkey" and "pit pass" in it. Thank you, Tony. I can now cross that little gem off my life's to-do list.

Did you see the monkey paw away the TV camera, as if to say, "no comment?" They say pets take the personality of their owners. I never believed it until that moment.

	Mark Spoor
	DO YOU WONDER? Tell Mark what has you shaking your head

... what in the world was Todd Berrier thinking?

Since Kevin Harvick was as tight-lipped as a spy stationed in Timbuktu on Saturday night, I doubt we'll ever really know why his crew chief inexplicably decided Harvick should stay out -- alone -- on Lap 288 while all of his competitors went for four fresh Goodyears.

We did hear Harvick say something about fuel mileage, but as the FOX guys said, it's about tires, not fuel mileage. It's possible that the team thought its car was so dominant that new tires wouldn't matter -- and for a while they didn't. Still, and I very well may be missing something, it appeared that there was little to gain by the move and a whole lot to lose, especially when your car is so dominant.

I mean, for a lot of that race, Harvick could have been on cruise control and still led. So why take a chance?

The good news is that Harvick is still white hot, if he doesn't let this small setback -- he finished third, after all -- carry over to Darlington.

... how does one play six sports in high school?

In the "10 Laps with ..." segment Saturday night, Elliott Sadler told Chris Myers that he played six sports in high school.

How do you do that?

Let's see: There's football, basketball and baseball. That's three. Probably track is four. Soccer and volleyball, maybe? Perhaps he was one of these guys that got a spot on the girls field hockey team because his high school didn't offer a boys field hockey team.

Does any school offer a boys field hockey team? Wouldn't lacrosse fill that void?

And to do six sports, you'd have to play more than one during a season. Weren't there scheduling conflicts? Obviously, Sadler had to be cultivating some sort of a racing career along the way. When the heck did he study?

Credit: Autostock

Crown Royal 400 Unofficial Results Pos. Driver Make 1. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Chevy 2. Denny Hamlin Chevy 3. Kevin Harvick Chevy 4. Greg Biffle Ford 5. Kyle Busch Chevrolet • Complete results, click here • Driver standings, click here Victory LaneDale Earnhardt Jr. celebrates his first victory of the year Final lapsJunior holds off Denny Hamlin on the final laps at Richmond Top finishersGreg Biffle and Denny Hamlin talk about their runs Early CautionsFive cautions in the first 100 laps at Richmond Sign up for TrackPass now BUY THE NEXTEL i836

... does anybody actually karaoke anymore?

Myers then asked Sadler what song he sings when he does karaoke.

Excuse me, but is it 1989 again? Who still does this stuff?

Are there still businessmen who have a few too many on a trip to Tulsa and wind up singing Against All Odds in a key not known in western music while draping their arms around each other in a way that screams, 'I shouldn't have had that last rum and Coke'?

While we're at it, who's the Karaoke King of NASCAR? My bet's on Myers.

... what was on the line when Denny Hamlin was racing guys -- around his hauler -- and busted his hand open?

What's next? A stirring game of Duck, Duck, Goose? Imagine having to go to the infield care center and explain why your hand is sliced up like roast beef.

So what were you doing to the car when this happened?

Uh, nothing. You see, I was racing around my hauler. My tire changer said, 'Last guy to do five laps is a rotten egg and ..."

Uh ... OK.

...does anyone still have a dial on their television?

With 13 laps to go Saturday night, Mike Joy told viewers, "Don't touch that dial."

I think the last time there was a dial on a TV I was watching, Captain Caveman was running around with the Teen Angels and my parents didn't need to take out a loan to fill their gas tanks.

... could any local tracks afford to do Nextel Night?

Darrell Waltrip suggested Saturday night that when the Nextel Cup Series runs on Saturday night, local weekly racetracks should just put a big screen in the infield and show the Cup race while the other races are going on.

"I'd have Nextel Night," Waltrip said matter-of-factly.

We've all been to plenty of these weekly racetracks. Has anyone ever been to one, save maybe Eldora, that could afford this? Some of the ones I've been to can barely afford benches for the fans to sit on. If they could afford it, then they're not paying the drivers enough.

How about fans TiVo the race and support both, hey D.W.?

... can NASCAR please hire the U.S. Marine Drum and Bugle Corps to do the national anthem every week?

Memo to all future national anthem performers: That is how it's done. Respectfully yet powerfully, with absolutely no improvisation.

After all, it's not karaoke.

The opinions expressed are solely of the writer.