Kevin Federline and Britney Spears were married Oct. 6, 2004. Credit: AP

Spears' divorce papers may be boon for K-Fed

By now you've heard: Britney Spears has filed for divorce.

Apparently Kevin Federline has been kicked to the curb, fedora and an array of multi-colored Yankees caps in tow. ... Such is life in the fast lane, K-Fed.

	Britney Spears served as grand marshal at the Pepsi 400 in 2001. Credit: ASP
	ALSO Britney Spears wasted no time getting back into the swing of things on Tuesday, the same day she filed for divorce from Kevin Federline in Los Angeles.  •   Complete story, click here

So what is a former dancer-turner-rapper to do? I mean, homey's got kids to care for (since that recently released rap CD is destined for the bargain bin at Target).

In addition to the two young'uns that he and Brit have, there are two other children from a previous relationship. He's gotta keep 'em in Baby Gap, you know.

After getting booed out of the joint during a WWE promotional appearance, maybe K-Fed can Chase some of the NASCAR sponsors for a handout:

Lowe's can donate building materials for Kevin's new crib -- and his babies'. It prolly won't be as snazzy as the California mansion, but it's a roof over your head.

DeWalt could throw a few power tools his way; it'll be the only time he holds the power. No longer is it "Baby," or "Honey," or "Sweetie Pie." No, your sugar baby should be addressed as "Plaintiff."

Budweiser ... yeah, I think ol' Kev knows his way around a 12-pack of brew. It'll take the edge off his fleeting popularity as Mr. Britney Spears.

GM Goodwrech could hook up K-Fed with lifetime free oil changes. Fifteen bucks here or there makes a big difference, especially when living on a hefty prenup.

DuPont, 'cause you gotta get the crib painted; pick any color under the rainbow. In fact, you can coordinate the colors with your collection of Yankees caps!

Cingular can get all the Federlines connected with an (extended) family plan. It has the fewest number of dropped calls. Oooh, sorry -- you're too familiar with "dropped."

Kellogg's ... hey, kids remember: There is no more important meal than breakfast. And no, not the 3 a.m. variety at Waffle House.

AAA will be there when Kev needs a boost. His vehicle -- not his "career." You can take a seat against the wall with Los Del Rio and y'all work out the steps to the Macarena.

E-MAIL •   Send Duane your thoughts ...

Dodge's new Nitro would be the perfect ride for hauling the kiddies 'round town. No more two-seat roadsters for you; welcome to the real world.

So there you go, K-Fed -- a little NASCAR love to handle your need for speed. ... But there's something missing. Oh yeah -- and Brit took care of this with her divorce filing on Tuesday.

Your new nickname: FedEx.

The opinions expressed are solely of the writer.

• Grand marshals have fuzzy history in NASCAR