

Never fails. Make an off-the-cuff comment -- one less wrinkle of wind resistance at Daytona or Geritol for everyone in Victory Lane or Methuselah -- and the nursing home fans come off their bed pans. ... Who knew geriatric units had Internet service?! ... Yes, it is jealously of Mark being so active (and competitive) at such an advanced age.

E-mail from Angela: First of all, congratulations to Jeff Gordon on his impending fatherhood but if I have to listen to the commentators mention that Jeff Gordon is going to be a father one more time ... I think I will watch the race with the volume turned off. People who don't even watch NASCAR know his wife is pregnant. She's not the first and she won't be the last. ... Not as long as Tom Brady is on the loose.

OK, conspiracy buffs, here's the skinny on why Jimmie Johnson did not receive a penalty: It is common for pit road officials to stop a rolling tire. In this case, the official stopped the tire, the crew member corraled the used rubber, moved from in front of the car and Johnson sped away. Happens in every race; it's officially termed a "no call," meaning no penalty occurred. ... Now if you will excuse me, I'm late for the weekly Kool-Aid session at 4411 Papa Joe Hendrick Blvd.

It wasn't so much the tire compound or the increased banking that affected Burton at Las Vegas. After all, he handled both very nicely during the Busch Series race. Rumor has it that the battery on his Motorola RAZR V3 Pink was powering not only the No. 31 Chevy but also the Neon Garage -- and something had to give. ... You'd think for $75 million that SMI would have budgeted for its own power source.

Reports out of Wisconsin say the Packers are considering a trade with the Raiders to pick up wide receiver Randy Moss. ... Great, just what Kenseth needs -- another guy competing for headlines in the Baraboo News Republic.

He was mired in the middle of the pack for most of the day at Las Vegas, a stark contrast from the first two races. It left Harvick with a lot of time to ponder, among other things: Back in the day, did Union 76 get its tighty-whities in a wad over the logo on the No. 94 Sunoco car tucking under the hood? ... Yeah, it was that big. E-mail me; I'll send you a picture.

He's grrrrrreat! ... Again, just nothing sarcastic to say about my favorite martian ... er, Busch brother.

From 10 Questions:
5. Was there a teacher in school that stands out?
Hamlin: It's hard to say one certain teacher. I've got some favorites. Ms. Durazio from high school, she was one. I kind of had a relationship with her and her daughter, and I still have that today.
Umm, Denny ... does Mr. Durazio know about this?

If you're out and about in the ATL this weekend, here's the go-to guy for all things March Madness. In fact, he put the "ack" in Bracketology. ... Maybe that didn't come out right. In any case, ESad says take the Tar Heels. Yeah, he's a homer.

I'll admit it: J.J. is my La. Tech (I prefer the women's game; go Lady Vols!) -- I'm gonna keep ranking him on potential. Thanks for not letting me down so far. ... Wait a minute; the Lady Techsters didn't get invited to the dance for the first time in 26 years! This does not bode well.

An e-mailer recently asked who is my favorite driver. And here's your answer: We're supposed to be unbiased, but if my life depended on winning one race, I'd want Smoke behind the wheel. ... Ditto if my life depended on devouring enough food to feed a small Third World nation. Of course I'd be willing to take my chances with that.

Looking at David's picture and the one of Tony Stewart, they could pass as brothers ... well, maybe cousins. Once removed. By marriage. OK, so they aren't that similar, most notably when comparing Cup resumes. But David has time on his side.

If the Chase began on Sunday ... I just wanted to be the first to say that. But if it did, Gilliland would be racing for the Cup. ... And then reality sets in. There are 23 races until the top 12 go chasin' the Cup and it'll take more than green M&Ms for Gilliland to get enough love to be in that group.

Wonder if Matt Borland calls to reminisce about the good ol' days -- when life with Newman was 180 degrees different from having to roll out (again, again and again) the past champion's provisional to make the race? ... At least someone from Michael Waltrip Racing can share tales from the road with the guys back at the shop.

Dude, what the heck is wrong with the No. 16 team? Y'all finished second in points in 2005 but have only two wins, eight top-five finishes and 15 top-10s with an average finish of 18th in the past 39 races. I know, there has been a lot of change within the hallowed halls of Roush Fenway Racing ... and there's the answer: Fenway -- you sleep with dogs, you get fleas. (Did I mention I'm a Yankees fan?)

Filed under "if the shoe fits," Gordon drove a black car at Las Vegas -- apropos for the black sheep of racing. And I think he wears it very nicely. Forget every misconception you have of the guy; he can drive, he's a single-car entity -- he deserves your respect. Well, maybe not Casey Mears' ...

Believe me, my kin folks in Lynchburg, Tenn. (hello, Possum Trot!) will chide me for sticking Bowyer below Gordon. Oy vey, as they say. Just keep me a seat at Miss Mary Bobo's and we'll be cool. I'll be coming through in a few weeks to put flowers on my grandfather Lawrence Cunningham's grave at Hurricane Cemetery. See you then.

"Front Row" Joe continues to make the show on his qualifying speed. Maybe he should meditate after the green flag: "It's just qualifying laps. It's just qualifying laps. It's just a lot of qualifying laps." Actually, he was on a streak of finishing better than he started until crashing at Vegas ... and Atlanta hasn't been kind to him, either (only seven top-10s in 26 starts).

Last year In Demand had about 30,000 customers; this year almost 100,000 subscribers through the first two races. Credit the increase to DirecTV’s NASCAR Hot Pass, which features five channels dedicated to five drivers for every Cup race ... none named David Ragan. Get on the bandwagon now while there's plenty of seats still available!

True story: NASCAR.COM's Joe Menzer was a Jimmy Spencer fan. By default, Joe loathed Kurt. (Again with the whole supposed to be unbiased thing; it's a farce.) Turns out their hotel rooms during testing at Daytona were across from each other and they struck up a friendship: Kurt talks Bears football with Joe, a former NFL beat reporter. ... Look, the Colts just scored again!

It's been four years since Labonte celebrated the last of his six victories at Atlanta. Much has changed since that day, March 9, 2003, but one thing remains constant: He's as dry as toast, when he needs to be. Otherwise, he's a barrel of Rhesus monkeys hopped-up on Klondike bars.

Wonder if he still thinks Mark Martin is a "crazy old man?" Too bad those commercials bit the dust, but maybe there is a silver (haired) lining: Carl's Ford vs. Mark's Chevy on Pinks. Maybe not. Martin's comments at Las Vegas make it a moot point; can't have a predetermined reality show. Then again, SPEED is part of the FOX family.

E-mail of the week, from Richard in South Carolina: "Where's Juan? In 22nd position." I love the simplicity of the fandom; nothing gets by y'all. ... Unlike Juan, whom everyone gets by under green. He's losing an average of six positions from start to finish.

Johnny, dude you and Jeff Green have to settle on a sponsor. One week you're Yellow (Transportation, not chicken) and he's Best Buy. The next week, it's reversed. The greats didn't get the name recognition by playing musical chairs. I know there are multiple sponsorship agreements, but this is taking it to the extreme -- not to mention if Larry Mac gives y'all a shout out he won't know who's who.

I'm impressed, Earnhardt Nation -- no death threats last week for dropping The Man from the rankings. In fact, there wasn't a lot of hate mail. Junior gets it; the team struggled at Daytona and California. It bounced back at Las Vegas. ... Question is: Did he come out better on the track ($144,233) or on the strip? Only Forbes knows for certain.