Track Smack: A.J. and despair at Daytona

1. Which drivers will be watching the Daytona 500 on television?

Ryan Smithson: It will be a major achievement if Brian Vickers and A.J. Allmendinger make it. Vickers is going to have to use the 150s to race his way in. Michael Waltrip won't have a quick qualifying speed, so like Vickers he better have a strong 150s.

David Caraviello: What are there, like 30 cars coming to Daytona without guaranteed spots? Got to think Michael Waltrip's going to get in, and Ward Burton has historically been good there. But you wonder about young guys like Regan Smith and Paul Menard, and the Red Bull guys, who weren't very good in testing.

Joe Menzer: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say A.J. Allmendinger and James Hylton. Richard Petty won't make it, either. I guess the hard question that must be asked is who's more qualified to attempt qualifying: Allmendinger or Hylton?

David Caraviello: A.J. has had two tough tests. As for Hylton -- he was 15th-fastest overall in Daytona testing, and he's got RCR stuff.

Joe Menzer: You just love that guy, don't you?

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Ryan Smithson: David, Menard will be a pole threat, so I like him to make it almost as well as any of the go-or-go-home guys.

Joe Menzer: Think about how much faster Menard can get out of the car than Hylton ... isn't he, like, 50 years younger?

David Caraviello: I just don't think you can totally dismiss Hylton, especially now with that quite appropriate Retirement Living TV sponsorship.

David Caraviello: Although if he misses the 500 and has to watch it from his Barcalounger, the sponsorship works just as well.

Ryan Smithson: If Hylton makes the race, people who claim NASCAR isn't a sport will have a field day.

David Caraviello: No they won't, Ryan. People love this kind of stuff. The national media will be all over Hylton if he makes it.

Ryan Smithson: It is certainly a great story. I'll give it that.

Joe Menzer: And we'll have had the story first. Well, more specifically, you will have had the story first, DC!

David Caraviello: Just no more "he left his turn signal on" jokes.

Joe Menzer: I'm sure you haven't heard the last of those!

Ryan Smithson: I wonder just how disappointed the teams will be because I am sure that Michael Waltrip knows that there is a better than average chance some of his cars are going home.

Joe Menzer: That is going to greatly disappoint those Toyota folks, if it happens.

David Caraviello: No question. But to be honest, sponsors and teams that are on the brink know it, so it might not be quite as crushing as it appears. They know going in they're facing long odds.

Joe Menzer: It's like Ward Burton said during testing. For him and others like him this time around, qualifying will feel like winning the darn race!

Ryan Smithson: I know it bothered Scott Riggs a lot last year-- for just a few days. It actually helped him focus more at Fontana [the following week]. It worked out.

David Caraviello: Let's face it -- there are eight spots left for the 500, and six Toyota teams that need to get in? Those numbers don't work.

Ryan Smithson: I just don't see how Allmendinger will even qualify for a race in the coming months.

Joe Menzer: It sounds like he will be out of a job before long, frankly.

David Caraviello: Man, this has turned into Allmendinger Smack.

Joe Menzer: Well, that's better than the usual Menzer Smack.

Ryan Smithson: You can't come into stock cars with three races of experience. And don't bring up Juan Montoya. He is a different animal, and he hasn't wrecked in testing.

Joe Menzer: Or wrecked twice.

David Caraviello: A.J.'s top test speed at Daytona was 54th-fastest.

Joe Menzer: Or wrecked twice.

David Caraviello: And we all know what happened at Vegas.

Ryan Smithson: A.J. hasn't wrecked twice, Joe. More than that.

David Caraviello: Let's just say the guy still has quite the learning curve.

Joe Menzer: Oh, my bad. Didn't he wreck twice at Vegas, though?

Ryan Smithson: Yes, but he also wrecked at Kentucky in testing. The bad thing is that Red Bull doesn't have a high car count.

Joe Menzer: Maybe he'd better quit destroying them, then. Especially since he's doing it with no other cars on the track!

Ryan Smithson: I don't see how he will get the chance to race other cars anyway.

Ryan Smithson: Except in practice.

2. Why did Hendrick change Casey Mears' crew chief on the eve of the 500?

Ryan Smithson: That was weird and unexpected. And I wonder how losing Darian Grubb will hurt Jimmie Johnson's team.

David Caraviello: You have to think either things weren't totally clicking between Mears and Lance McGrew, or they needed to do something to keep Darian Grubb from being lured somewhere else.

David Caraviello: Remember, the guy won two races last year when Chad Knaus was suspended, including the Daytona 500. You've got to believe he had offers.

Joe Menzer: I don't think we know the answers yet, but it's pretty obvious that they felt they had to shake things up to either keep Grubb from leaving or because Mears' team wasn't shaping up the way Hendrick wanted.

Ryan Smithson: Darian charmed the pants off the media last year. He is a real quiet, approachable guy who can break down things well.

Joe Menzer: Just the kind of guy who can write his own ticket in the new NASCAR.

David Caraviello: Well, too bad he was "too busy" to return calls [Tuesday].

Ryan Smithson: He probably was.

Joe Menzer: That doesn't sound real media-friendly.

Ryan Smithson: Well, the team controls that, not him; they told him to wait until Friday at the track to discuss things in a controllable environment.

David Caraviello: And I wouldn't say he "charmed the pants off" the media last year, Ryan. I thought he was evasive. He ducked us a lot.

Ryan Smithson: He is from Virginia. That means he keeps to himself and works instead of talks.

Joe Menzer: Listen, I was covering the NFL last year. I don't know what you guys were doing getting your pants "charmed off" in NASCAR!

Ryan Smithson: OK, so maybe "charmed the pants off" is a bad phrase.

David Caraviello: If somebody's going to "charm my pants off," it isn't going to be Darian Grubb.

Joe Menzer: Let's hope so.

Ryan Smithson: Who will it be?

David Caraviello: But back on topic: Who now has the biggest transition, the team with the new crew chief or the reigning champs without their lead engineer?

Ryan Smithson: It isn't going to hurt Mears any. Obvious statement of the year, eh?

Joe Menzer: I say the team with the new crew chief. It's late in the game to be making that switch, and chemistry between crew chief and driver takes time to develop.

Ryan Smithson: Maybe Darian will "charm the pants off" Mears. Ha!

3. Kyle Petty appears to ending his full-time driving career. Good move for TNT to hire him for a few races?

Joe Menzer: I think it makes perfect sense. The guy is a great quote and brings excellent perspective to the sport in so many ways.

David Caraviello: Is he ending his full-time driving career? He's only stepping out to broadcast what, five races?

Ryan Smithson: Sure, but he can't run for a title while missing five races.

Ryan Smithson: And yes, I am trying to make you laugh.

Joe Menzer: I think this is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. If it goes well, I'll bet he's soon going to be announcing more and driving even less.

David Caraviello: Uh, Ryan, Kyle is not running for a title anyway.

Joe Menzer: Neither is James Hylton, David.

Ryan Smithson: That was my joke. Glad you got it, or didn't get it.

Joe Menzer: It's a logical career transition for Kyle, and it comes at the right time.

David Caraviello: He will become the voice of TNT.

Ryan Smithson: I just hope James Hylton doesn't emulate that astronaut and wear diapers when he drives.

David Caraviello: That was low, Ryan.

David Caraviello: You leave an upstanding fellow South Carolinian alone.

Ryan Smithson: That astronaut is from Maryland, not South Carolina.

David Caraviello: Hylton is from South Carolina.

David Caraviello: Now that we are technically co-workers with Kyle, does that mean we're privy to all kinds of inside info from Petty Enterprises?

Joe Menzer: That Depends. ... Get it?

Joe Menzer: Now that could be a great sponsor for Hylton. Depends adult diapers.

Joe Menzer: Maybe he could pilot the Space Shuttle next. Looks like they let just about anybody do it.

Ryan Smithson: And yes, I know that Hylton won't need them, he is perfectly fine for his age. He doesn't even wear glasses. But I wanted to get in an astronaut quip.

Joe Menzer: I'll bet Hylton could go really fast in that thing.

The opinions expressed are solely of the participants.