Track Smack: Daytona (cont'd)

Joe Menzer: I wish I could have seen Ricky Rudd piloting his huge motorhome up to Cedar Point amusement park in Ohio last summer during his "retirement." Said he was a nervous wreck for the first 100 miles!

Ryan Smithson: Butch Hylton, Rudd's crew chief, cracks me up. He has been around forever so you assume he is like 55 and gray. He is a young-looking 40-year-old, and he is about 8 eet tall.

David Caraviello: Is he related to James?

Ryan Smithson: I don't think so.

Joe Menzer: Might be James' grandson.

Ryan Smithson: Great-grandson.

David Caraviello: Evidently, James Hylton has also run Ryan off the road.

Ryan Smithson: Not in a Harley. It was in a Lincoln Town Car.

Joe Menzer: I had an e-mailer accuse me of practicing "ageism" for some of my cracks on James Hylton in our last Smack when I actually love the guy. I was pulling for him, if only because it's a great story.

Ryan Smithson: He needs to look at your picture. Your hair is whiter than rice.

David Caraviello: Gee, original line, Ryan. Haven't heard that one before.

Joe Menzer: I tried to tell the angry e-mailer that I'm in the same age bracket as young Mr. Hylton.

David Caraviello: My sources tell me the man is saving it all for the Twins. He's got some special manifold oil saved up for that race.

Ryan Smithson: True story: Joe was in the grocery store with his kid, and some woman thought it was his grandkid. Ha!

Joe Menzer: I cannot deny it.

David Caraviello: Poor Ryan. He thinks he's going to be 38 forever, doesn't he, Joe?

Ryan Smithson: Back in high school in Centerville, Tenn., we took grocery carts out onto the road. We pulled them with a rope behind a Bronco. Those little rubber tires don't last too long.

Joe Menzer: Lemme guess. You were riding in the cart, fell out, and hit your head?

David Caraviello: Uh ... were there no girls in Centerville?

Ryan Smithson: All taken by the 40-year-olds.

Joe Menzer: I would have been big there. I looked 40 at age 30.

Ryan Smithson: And yes, I hit my head, but the real injury came when Chris Rogers set my hair on fire.

David Caraviello: They call Ryan "The Jimmie Johnson of Centerville."

Joe Menzer: Ah, he was just "horsin' around." No alcohol involved, I'm sure.

Ryan Smithson: Jimmie Johnson, if you're reading this, I did what you did. Seriously. Except it was an ankle injury.

David Caraviello: We hear JJ is a big fan of the Smack.

Joe Menzer: I got flipped in a golf cart once. And yes, alcohol was involved -- along with an idiot friend who was driving. I was an innocent victim.

Ryan Smithson: I was hit in the groin by a flying golf ball that landed in my lap once. This was back when carts didn't have a roof.

David Caraviello: Oh, please, next topic.

Ryan Smithson: We are done foe the day.

David Caraviello: Once we get to Ryan's lap, it's all over for me.

The opinions expressed are solely of the writers.