Cross' Words: Michigan

Liz Allison has penned The Girl's Guide to Winning a NASCAR Driver (Secrets to Grabbing His Attention and Stealing His Heart). ... Check the rearview, Bubba; Armageddon is on the horizon.

Liz, the widow of Davey Allison, is back on the shelves with more inside-the-garage talk as a follow up to The Girl's Guide to NASCAR.

• Send Duane your thoughts

Printed on the galley I received: "Material from this copy should not be quoted or used without first checking with the publisher, as some of this material may not appear in the finished book."

What the heck, I called Center Street publishing house. ... Yep, the PR lady says, it's cool to talk in generalities.

So generally speaking, the Dewey Decimal System won't apply to this book. It'll be filed under "L" -- laugh out loud.

Among the top five topics for discussion:

• Ways to let him know you are in the groove
• Names for Pit Lizards
• Ways to keep his momma happy
• Ways to know he is the keeping kind
• Things to make your driver stop in his tracks

Ladies, if you're looking for the inside track on snaring a go fast, turn left kind of guy ... well, I guess this is the book for you. A couple of female co-workers couldn't stop hee-hawing at the advice; they also booked a flight for Sonoma, mid-read.

There's a lot of tid-bit info packed into the pages -- Did You Knows and Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend chatting -- as well as behind-the-scenes stuff:

• Katie and Matt Kenseth met at a mutual friend's wedding.
• Paula and Sterling Marlin met on a double date -- each with someone else.
• Ann and Ken Schrader met while each were married to someone else.
• Bill Elliott met his wife, Cindy, while she was a photographer for Winston Cup Scene.
• When Eva and Kurt Busch were set up for a blind date at a Charlotte sports bar, she was told that she was going on the date with a veterinarian.

(No, there isn't a punch line about a horse's derriere.)

The book is not tongue-in-cheek, but it does have its spine planted firmly in the grass roots of stock-car racing. If you don't find something to laugh about, you haven't been following the sport long enough. There are plenty of puns and enough double entendres to keep you flipping the pages.

Thing is, Liz can get away with it; been there, done that is the thought. ... But imagine a similar book from the male perspective. Nancy Grace would be screaming at the camera, coordinating the book burning.

Of course, we'd all be sitting around the barrels laughing, of which Allison never loses sight. Sometimes it is good to laugh at yourself. NASCAR Nation, she's not laughing at you -- she is laughing with you.

And so am I.

(Disclaimer: Yep, I missed Sunday's race. I was catching up on shuteye after spending the weekend coaching. So no ill-informed rant or rave this week (or next; on vacation). ... Well, I will rave: Congrats to the 13U Tigers, who won the Lithia Springs Classic.) (Continued)