

With the way the stock market's going, who knew that the punch line to "What is the Bank of America 500?" is "What do you have left if you started with 1,500 shares?"

Jeff was excited to claim the victory Saturday night until he realized the winner's check was actually an IOU from the federal bank bailout.

When asked if it helped to have Jimmie Johnson fade backward at the end of Saturday's race, Greg's response was, "It was a lot better when I was in front of him."

Cross my heart: Perhaps Kyle might think about using the pink paint scheme again, since that fourth-place finish obviously lifted and supported the crew for a full 18 hours.

Tony's planning on meeting with his congressman this week to get the federally mandated 45 mph pit road speed limits repealed.

Anybody who thought 2007 was a fluke needs to look at the standings and notice Clint's name ahead of champions Tony Stewart, Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth.

After his brawl with Kevin Harvick and resulting technical knockout in the race, I'm reminded of Marlon Brando's famous line: "I coulda been a contender."

As soon as I saw those photos of Friday's fracas, a song by another Bakersfield native -- Buck Owens -- came to mind: "I've Got a Tiger By the Tail."

After Jeff whacked the fence twice in the first six laps, Gordon fans in attendance Saturday night were given coupons for a free Harvey Wallbanger.

Interesting stat of the week: David has completed 8,919 of the 8,977 laps run in 2008. That's more than any other driver in Sprint Cup this season.

Denny's week consisted of an overnight hospital stay and a brush with the Jack Daniels car. How does that joke go: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy?"

Forget Obama and McCain. Kasey's campaigning to have the entire 36-race Sprint Cup schedule run at Lowe's Motor Speedway in 2009.

After finishing third by using a hybrid setup from Sam Hornish Jr. and Ryan Newman, Kurt and the crew will be taking random suggestions from the hot dog vendors at Martinsville.

Give me the night: That was Jamie's first top-10 finish in a race under the lights in 2008.

Didn't see that coming: When asked if he could sense a problem with the tire before he wrecked, Junior said, "Hell, no! I would have slowed down if I knew the tire was going to blow."