MARTINSVILLE, Va. -- This just in. Jack Roush is very upset.

Again.

Friday the latest in the big Partgate scandal broke loose at Martinsville Speedway when Roush, who owns Roush Fenway Racing, met with the media for a, um, lengthy question-and-answer session. Well, mostly it was an answer session that left only more questions (Garage Pass).

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Roush rambled on for seemingly ever in the cramped confines of the Martinsville infield media center, trying to explain why he is considering restraining orders and issuing theft allegations. In case you missed it, Roush is furious with Toyota -- again -- and this time because he says he can prove that "a non-descript Toyota team" (which just might be Michael Waltrip Racing, but then again it might not be) stole one of his "proprietary parts" after the fall race at Dover last year.

"A number of the teams had a number of proprietary parts in our car as we attempt to work within NASCAR's bounds and do things uniquely for our car that are within the rules that will allow us to get an advantage," Roush said. "One of the challenges this car has is it's heavy in the front end. It's hard to achieve the balance you'd like to have and get enough nose weight off the car to let it balance properly from a weight and balance point of view.

"One of the areas that we've worked in is the front sway bar. It's not subject to a NASCAR teardown inspection. It was not a part that would have been mixed up with other Toyota parts -- a front anti-roll sway bar. And within the confines -- the package that NASCAR gives you, the material, the dimension, all those things -- we designed our own part and we did an analysis of it. We optimized the torsional effect of it with minimizing the weight of it through heat treating and material selection and the way the components were machined and the way it was assembled. ..."

Roush wasn't finished talking. He droned on for about 20 more minutes before taking some questions.

By then, most of the assembled media was long done listening. Sorry, Jack, you lost us at the "optimization of the torsional effect." Most of us just hope none of our kids suffer from the torsional effect, because it sure sounds serious.

Supersonic and clandestine

The bottom line, after many more minutes of ranting and finally some answers to questions from the assembled throng, was that a Toyota team -- maybe MWR, maybe not -- ended up with a Roush Fenway part, called a front anti-roll sway bar, that apparently helps with the front sway bar in NASCAR's new car -- which used to be called the Car of Tomorrow but now isn't.

Roush rightly was furious. It's wrong. There's no doubt about that.

He also mentioned that the part was missing for months before anyone at Roush Fenway Racing realized it, including himself.

"I found out about it and I wanted to go supersonic," Roush said. "[I said,] 'We're going up there. We're going to get a search warrant. We're going to get the bar. It's intellectual espionage that's going on here. They've stolen the part. They've got access to it. They've had an opportunity to see what it does, see what its efficiency for weight and function are, and we've been damaged. We've been harmed by this theft.'"

Roush said that cooler heads prevailed. He said he called the "manager" of the operation in question, who said he had no knowledge of the theft. But later, said manager called Roush back and told him they indeed had the part.

"So a clandestine meeting was arranged at 6 o'clock in the morning to return the bar, one manager to the other," Roush said.

Apparently, though, returning the part and whatever apology may have been delivered with it was not enough. According to Roush, many at Roush Fenway Racing wanted to "go public with this thing and do a deal that says, 'Alright, we're just going to go get a restraining order. They can't use any of the bars they've got until they prove that they haven't used the technology and haven't used that consideration at Daytona [in testing and the 2008 season-opening race]."

Roush said he prevailed with the cooler head this time. He asked NASCAR to get involved. He said he had three conversations with NASCAR, after which NASCAR officials, including vice president of competition Robin Pemberton, let the media know that they hoped the two parties involved could work it out amongst themselves. Roush thought this was ludicrous.

"It was reported by Robin that this is business as usual in the garage, that things like this happen all the time," Roush said. "Well, I've been racing for 22 years and I have never stolen anything from somebody else to gain an advantage or to figure out what they were doing, and I'm not aware that something of this nature has been taken from me."

Enough already.

Please.

Laughter is the best medicine

Let us now bring in the judge. He goes by the name of Jeff Gordon, driver of the No. 24 Chevrolet of Hendrick Motorsports. So he doesn't have a dog in the hunt. He's not in the Ford camp, nor from the Toyota side.

And he can't stop laughing.

"I think the whole thing is just hilarious. I think it's a great story," Gordon said. "Certainly we've been talking about it. I'm sure it's making for some good entertainment around the garage area and in the media center. But I really hope Jack is not taking it that seriously, because he shouldn't. It really is something to smile about.

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"If he's really that upset about it, I want to know what's going on with that sway bar, man. Maybe there's something that we're missing that has to do with how fast their cars are. A lot of us have a little bit different of a design on the sway bars. Once you start getting into the really big sway bars, trying to figure out how to lighten 'em up is definitely important. I don't know. Maybe they figured out something on that design that they didn't want to get out of their garage. But then I guess you shouldn't leave it laying around where somebody can grab it."

Gordon went on to say that he talked to his crew members about how parts sometimes inadvertently end up in the wrong hands -- and ultimately places -- after the chaos of a post-race teardown.

"They said you'd be surprised," Gordon said. "You're cleaning up and in post-race inspection, stuff gets left laying around. You can take it, you can not take it. You can tell a NASCAR official it's just laying here or whatever. It happens all the time. I think if no one claims it, I think it's kind of yours. The difference here is that Roush wanted it back. Well, he got it back."

When pressed for how he really thought, though, Gordon admitted he had another thought.

"I think we should investigate more. I think we should get the FBI involved," Gordon said.

He was laughing as he said it.

Roush needs to laugh a little more, too, and worry a little less about intellectual espionage, setting up clandestine meetings, and restraining orders. Then and only then will he be able to concentrate on the really important things, like optimizing the torsional effect on his racecars.

Just don't let your kids catch it.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer