Where did all the originality in victory celebrations go?

A few bottles of Korbel champagne: maybe a hundred dollars. Several electric confetti launchers shooting tiny bits of paper into the sky: several hundred dollars. Dozens of pit caps for the ceremonial hat dance: nearly a thousand.

The cost of watching a NASCAR driver perform something remotely entertaining, interesting or unique during a Victory Lane celebration: priceless!

After watching about the 26th Cup Series race this season, I couldn't help but have deja vu. You know, like, where have I seen this before? Oh, right, I see it every Sunday and on occasion Saturday.

The same show that is. Driver gets out of car, performs proverbial fist pump, sprays sponsor-friendly drink and gets interviewed by television. If only someone could please do something unexpected -- a shoulder shimmy, douse the reporter with Gatorade, break dance ... anything!

Post-race celebrations lately have me turning the channel, for the most part, because they are becoming more and more choreographed and rehearsed. Drivers have settled into a monotonous routine in which true emotion or the slightest bit of entertainment has become lost somewhere between the commercial break and NASCAR disallowing drivers to stand on their roofs due to post-race inspection rules.

So when Tony Stewart finally won after a 43-race dry spell at Talladega, I was eager for a show. He was going to climb the fence like old times!

Yeah, not so much, he just came into the media center and abused reporters as usual. His explanation for no celebratory fence climb: "I'm getting too old and fat to do that."

Jokes aside, Stewart said he was overwhelmed by the emotional victory and just forgot.

Fine, but I think we saw Stewart's last fence climb in 2007 after he won his second Allstate 400 at the Brickyard. So what are we left with, sweaty Old Spice towels used in Victory Lane now available online? No thanks.

And apparently not even so much as a burnout remains on the horizon.

"After listening to Rusty Wallace, I kind of agree with him," Stewart said. "I'm kind of big on not necessarily tearing the equipment up, especially now that I'm a car owner. I don't want to rip the transmissions out and hurt the motors, too."

No burnout. No fences. No fun. (Continued)