Where did all the originality in victory celebrations go?

A few bottles of Korbel champagne: maybe a hundred dollars. Several electric confetti launchers shooting tiny bits of paper into the sky: several hundred dollars. Dozens of pit caps for the ceremonial hat dance: nearly a thousand.

The cost of watching a NASCAR driver perform something remotely entertaining, interesting or unique during a Victory Lane celebration: priceless!

After watching about the 26th Cup Series race this season, I couldn't help but have deja vu. You know, like, where have I seen this before? Oh, right, I see it every Sunday and on occasion Saturday.

The same show that is. Driver gets out of car, performs proverbial fist pump, sprays sponsor-friendly drink and gets interviewed by television. If only someone could please do something unexpected -- a shoulder shimmy, douse the reporter with Gatorade, break dance ... anything!

Post-race celebrations lately have me turning the channel, for the most part, because they are becoming more and more choreographed and rehearsed. Drivers have settled into a monotonous routine in which true emotion or the slightest bit of entertainment has become lost somewhere between the commercial break and NASCAR disallowing drivers to stand on their roofs due to post-race inspection rules.

So when Tony Stewart finally won after a 43-race dry spell at Talladega, I was eager for a show. He was going to climb the fence like old times!

Yeah, not so much, he just came into the media center and abused reporters as usual. His explanation for no celebratory fence climb: "I'm getting too old and fat to do that."

Jokes aside, Stewart said he was overwhelmed by the emotional victory and just forgot.

Fine, but I think we saw Stewart's last fence climb in 2007 after he won his second Allstate 400 at the Brickyard. So what are we left with, sweaty Old Spice towels used in Victory Lane now available online? No thanks.

And apparently not even so much as a burnout remains on the horizon.

"After listening to Rusty Wallace, I kind of agree with him," Stewart said. "I'm kind of big on not necessarily tearing the equipment up, especially now that I'm a car owner. I don't want to rip the transmissions out and hurt the motors, too."

No burnout. No fences. No fun.

"Just being able to turn around and get that close to the fans and drive down that whole front straightaway grandstand and see all those [Talladega] fans was important to me, not just that one little section by the flag stand," Stewart explained. "That seemed to me to be more special than just climbing the flag stand."

Well at least we have some other trademark moves to enjoy right? Carl Edwards' back flip, the Kyle Busch bow, which seemingly surfaced this season.

"I don't know how it started. I don't remember exactly. That's only a product of the victory celebration," Busch said. "So, that's the only time the bow really comes out. It's just a thank you ... I put on a great performance. Just like in show business people go out on stage and do their bow when the show is over and thank the crowd for being there."

Kurt Busch tried to get the whole snow angel thing going after his winter-like weather victory in 2006 at Bristol. He did it again, sans the snow, after a Nationwide Series win at Texas; the move however must have melted with the Bristol snow because we haven't seen it since. Perhaps next time he should try a Gene Kelly routine per his washed-out Michigan win, who knows.

Look, I'm no Janet Jackson, but I do know that our post-race celebrations could use a good kick in the Hammer pants.

Some critics feel trademark moves are perfunctory and fake, but NASCAR fans love them. They wait for them, want to take photos of them and get angry if they don't see them.

Sponsors build effective advertising platforms around these celebrations as well. Aflac's signature duck flips off the back of Edwards' No. 99 in a commercial and Home Depot is still running spots around Stewart climbing their promotional home improvement ladders.

Dave Finely, the sport's director of series operations, has the great fortune of running post-race pageantry for NASCAR, meaning he sees Victory Lane every weekend while some teams see it once a year, if they're lucky.

For this reason, every win must be special and Victory Lane celebrations are special events that require precise planning and preparation.

"Everything is planned out, choreographed," Finely said. "I'll get there with 20 laps to go, the signage is up, sponsor assets are on top of the car, trophy presenters are there. It's a routine we go through until the driver comes in. Then we make sure he's OK."

Cue the confetti.

"It's the same every single weekend. We have to get the hats ready for the team shots and sponsor photos. We try to let the drivers enjoy it but the media is on deadline and the driver has to go to the media center for interviews," Finely added. "It's good that it remains consistent and that everyone knows what happens internally; it's a well-run ship because there are so many people, so many sponsors the teams need to appease."

That said there's still room for spontaneity, he added.

"Yeah we have the traditional burnout, driver on the track salute, but there's not a lot of difference. I'm waiting for the next guy to break out and do something," he said. "It's fantastic for the sport."

Maybe someone could put a new twist on Darrell Waltrip's "Ickey Shuffle" or Dale Earnhardt Jr. could collaborate with Kid Rock on something trailer-tastic. And you know after Scott Speed makes his debut in the Cup Series at Martinsville, he'll be looking to do something outrageous if he should find himself in Victory Lane next season.

We saw a slice of Speed's post-race revelry after he won a Truck race at Dover. He posed with "Miles the Monster" most properlike, but then mean mugged the camera in true Vanilla Ice fashion.

"Victory Lane can be a bit emotionless and fake with everyone trying to fit everything in, thanking their sponsors. Everyone knows I'm Red Bull, I don't have to say it," Speed contends. "My trademark move won't be what everyone else does, I'll tell you that."

Well, Speed you have plenty to work with. Not many moves have been busted as of late.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer