Much more to Homestead than Johnson coronation

Given this is a NASCAR-centric column, you would expect to read about stock-car racing. Instead, let's interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to talk about toddlers hitting their dads in the gonads. Maybe discuss the stupidity of trying to use your roof for a launching pad while trying to improve your X-Games skills. How about the hilarity of Bubba chainsawing a tree -- and watching it fall on his car!

But I digress. ... Sunday's race at Homestead will be more than a 267-lap countdown to crowning Jimmie Johnson as a three-time Cup Series champion. That became a foregone conclusion at Kansas (and you read it here first).

Oh look; that's sooooo cute -- a cat sleeping on top of a dog ...

But hopefully the Eastern and Central time zones will get the memo: Between commercials for America's Funniest Home Videos and Monday Night Football, ESPN on ABC will, albeit briefly, touch on the race for the top 35 in owner points.

With the top 35 cars locked into the starting lineup for the first five races in 2009, including the Daytona 500, Sunday is paramount. Given the convoluted qualifying process of the Daytona 500, securing a top-35 position after Homestead will make for a less eventful offseason.

Starting positions for the Daytona 500:

• The highest-ranked 35 positions from the previous year's Cup Series car owner point standings from each qualifier;

• The two front-row qualifiers;

• The two-highest finishing cars in each qualifier (Duel 150s) not among that highest-ranked 35 group;

• The balance of the 43-car field will be filled by the fastest remaining qualifiers who have not earned a starting position, with the exception of the 43rd position which will be assigned to an eligible former or current Cup Series champion. (Should there not be an eligible champion, the position will be assigned to the next fastest qualifier not in the field.)

Did you see that?! The groom just passed out INTO THE CAKE!

Bill Davis Racing's No. 22 needs sponsorship. Ditto the No. 41 for Chip Ganassi. The No. 66 will be Stewart-Haas Racing's entry for Ryan Newman (Tony Stewart has the past champion's provisional). You've gotta think those three cars are in good shape to hold serve.

Here's where it starts getting dicey: Robby Gordon desperately needs to hang on. Michael Waltrip Racing's No. 47 (formerly the No. 00) is on the bubble. And contrary to reports, Mark Martin will be on the couch Sunday afternoon; Scott Speed will drive Red Bull Racing's No. 84. (Update: Brian Vickers will drive the No. 84 at Homestead; Speed moves into the No. 83, which already is securely in the top 35.)

So while Tom Bergeron eagerly awaits his cue, pay attention to the race within the race. There are several drivers who are hoping to pay dividends for 2009.

And now we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming. For those of you in the Mountain and Pacific time zones, click for Page 2. The schmucks in the Eastern and Central time zones will join Heidi, already in progress ...

• France rues ABC move, says TV partners "in line"

Bump-and-run thoughts after Phoenix ...

Winner

• Jimmie Johnson -- Let's get this party started! (And big ups to Greg Biffle, who finished 11th after starting at the back of the field (changed the transmission).)

Loser

• A.J. Allmendinger -- Some would say the spin of Matt Kenseth and Tony Stewart was just one of them racin' deals. ... Kenseth slammin' the door, literally, was payback.

Lucky Dog

• Jamie McMurray -- You understand if you've seen pics of his fiancé, Christy Futrell. Welcome to the "out-punted your coverage" club.

Who's hot

• David Ragan continues to light it up down the stretch: seven consecutive top-15 finishes. And, it seems, he's earned a feather or two for his dart.

Who's not

• The pressure is on, Scott Speed; a 17-point deficit in owner points rests on your shoulders.

In case you missed it ...

• Kurt Busch has three top-10 finishes in the past five races. Too little, way too late ...

• Kyle Petty has zero wins, one top-five finish and 16 top-10s in his last 295 starts.

• Nice work on behalf of the Digital TV Transmission folks, David Gilliland.

• What can brown(nosing) do for you? Dale Jarrett's quip when Ryan Newman gave Tony Stewart a push said it all ...

• It would be insensitive to make another America's Funniest Home Videos comment, so ponder the other side of the equation: ABC was within its contractual rights to switch the race to ESPN2. In fairness, NASCAR is on the hook for that loophole.

Moving on to Homestead

It all boils down to this: Even if second-place Carl Edwards wins and leads the most laps -- a 195-point day -- Jimmie Johnson's third consecutive championship is in the bag if ...

• he finishes 36th or better;
• finishes 37th and leads at least one lap;
• or finishes 39th and leads the most laps.

We can only hope the checkers fly before America's Funniest Home Videos.

Lasting image

Harry How/Getty Images

David Gilliland (38) earned a spot in every 2008 highlight package after his car came to rest on top of Scott Speed's No. 84.

The opinions expressed are solely of the writer.