Smack: Hendrick, M'ville and ... the Octomom? (cont'd)

3. Last weekend Bristol held a "legends" race in which old-timers like Junior Johnson, Cale Yarborough, and others competed. Should more tracks pick up on this idea?

David Caraviello: Absolutely not. Hey, everybody enjoyed seeing those guys, and no question many of them got a kick out of competing. But after all we've learned in this sport, seeing octogenarians strap into race cars wearing open-faced helmets was a little startling.

"Somebody watch these kids so I can strap in and race these old-timers!"

Raygan Swan: Octogenarian? Is that like Octomom Nadya Suleman? I'm going to say a legends race is a good idea, because it's a nice gesture if tracks aren't willing to drop prices. If the prices won't drop, then give fans more bang for their buck, more show for the money. I think the legends race was a great idea, but next time I could do without the so-called celebrities.

Joe Menzer: I thought it was great, except for one thing. Wasn't the guy who won it, Sterling Marlin, also entered in the Cup event? That shouldn't happen. The one thing about these kinds of deals, though, is that if you start doing them at every track -- or even let's say six times a year -- then suddenly they aren't so special anymore.

David Caraviello: It was a very good idea that just didn't work in execution. It didn't help that the whole thing got hijacked by a certain four-letter television network that turned the deal into its own publicity event. You'd have thought it was the freaking Daytona 500, the way those guys treated it.

Raygan Swan: I'm not saying have it at every track. But Martinsville would be good since they only go 74 mph. Nice pace for the octowhatevers.

Joe Menzer: Just don't go 74 heading up that two-lane road, the only one that I know of that leads from Greensboro into Martinsville. I'm not an octowhatever yet despite my recent birthday, but I do know that.

Raygan Swan: Your gift is in the mail, Joe.

Joe Menzer: What is it? A raincoat for this weekend?

Raygan Swan: Yep!

Joe Menzer: I knew it.

David Caraviello: I mean, no question a lot those guys were really geeked up for it. You could tell. But open-faced helmets? Come on. Was everyone wearing HANS devices? No wonder the wives of Richard Petty and Bobby Allison didn't let their husbands compete.

Raygan Swan: I wasn't there, did Junior Johnson wear overalls? I love overalls on a man!

Joe Menzer: Yeah, David, that's the aspect that we have to bring up on a serious note. If you start having these things multiple times a year, you'd better start mandating strict safety rules. Can you imagine if one of those guys got badly hurt?

David Caraviello: Oh, it would be a PR nightmare, Joe. The insurance situation alone is boggling. Hey, you want to put some of these guys in tuned-down Legends cars on a quarter-mile track, go for it. But late models on the world's fastest half-mile? Forget it.

Raygan Swan: The injuries they suffered at the high points of their careers are far more harmful than what they could endure in today's safer-minded NASCAR, unless they have low bone density.

David Caraviello: Well, I don't know anything about L.D. Ottinger's bone density, but complacency is what gets people hurt. Unless he has a full-faced helmet, a head-and-neck restraining device, and a full screening to ensure his ticker isn't going to go out, he isn't getting near a race car at my track.

Back to the future

They might not have had the best safety equipment, but Junior Johnson and some other legends climbed in the car at Bristol and battled for 35 laps.

• Marlin takes Legends race
• Video: Legends strap in
• Hylton wants one more shot

Joe Menzer: There is a reason they canned the Legends All-Star Game in the NBA after a few years. And it wasn't only because a couple of in-shape guys (i.e., Calvin Murphy and Rick Barry) played it like is was the NBA Finals. The legends started getting hurt -- and folks were worried about guys like Oscar Robertson having a heart attack out there. And those guys weren't strapped in hunks of metal that were banging on each other! So I guess what we're saying is that this is a nice once-in-awhile thing. But if they're going to do it even once a year, they'd better tighten up the safety rules.

David Caraviello: Of course, you never heard any of this on a certain four-letter television network, which was too busy stacking the qualifying event with its "celebrities." But this is why a "senior tour" of sorts won't happen.

Raygan Swan: Hey, they're grown men. If they want to crack a few ribs during their stroll down memory lane, so be it.

David Caraviello: Raygan, these guys are race car drivers. These dudes could be in full-body casts and still try to climb through a car window. Somebody has to be there to put some limits on things.

Joe Menzer: Ah, ribs. That brings me back to Ridgewood Barbecue again. The essence of Bristol. The way some guys go at them, they probably should be wearing HANS devices at the table!

David Caraviello: That's it! Legends eating contest at Ridgewood! I even know a four-letter TV network that might cover it.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writers.