If I said to you, "The other day I had to take a snowman after I shanked little whitey into the drink, hit my second fat, chilly dipped my chip and proceeded to three whack" would you know what the heck I was talking about?

Would you know that it took me eight strokes to put my white golf ball into a tin cup after a string of poor golf shots and three putts?

If you're a golf fan you certainly would. And like golf, NASCAR possesses an equally colorful and sometimes convoluted means of communication peppered with made up or slang terms.

For example, if I said, "My POS is pushing like a dump truck, my tires are chattering and I ran out of talent in Turn 4 and put it in the wall," would you understand that I'm a race car driver with a really ill-handling car who crashed?

Of course you would, so long as you are a well-versed NASCAR fan.

Throughout the years, drivers and teams have coined dozens of phrases and words creating their very own language; a dialect, if you will, distinguished by features of vocabulary, grammar and pronunciation from a regional variety constituting a single language.

Upon my arrival into the sport, I was convinced I would never catch on to NASCAR's phraseology and often caught myself just nodding with a blank stare saying, "Uh-huh, OK," then rushing to my computer for a Google translation.

There was no Rosetta Stone for NASCAR so you pretty much have to "pick up what the people are putting down" through experience and in my short tenure here is what I've learned: Single words often have double meanings; insults can be terms of endearment; and when in doubt just smile politely and say, "10-4."

Below is a small sampling of terms and phrases you might find interesting or fun to use in your daily life.

• Here kitty kitty -- Uttered by Tony Stewart in 2007 at Indianapolis to let everyone know that he was reeling in Kevin Harvick and about to win the race.

• The trophy is not at my house -- A phrase used to describe Kyle Busch's disappointment after losing a Nationwide Series race at Bristol.

• I ran out of talent -- The phrase should be taken literally.

• There's a mud hole starting to form -- Numerous crew members say this when they do a great job and beat several cars off pit road. It comes from the much more colorful phrase, "Stomp a mud hole in someone's a**."

• Look at those nice shoes --- We live in a society today where sexual harassment suits are no longer threatened but filed with monetary vengeance. Look at those nice shoes is code for, 'Hey, check out that hot girl" in a politically correct manner.

• Field filler and/or back marker -- A derogatory term used for a driver stuck in the back of the field or one who lacks talent.

• Gasser -- Quite the opposite of a field filler. A gasser is characterized by an aggressive driving style and ability to go fast.

• Squirrel -- A driver who, much like a squirrel crossing the road, darts back and forth on the track and is all over the place for whatever reason, be it an ill-handling car or lack of talent.

• Weapon -- A much harsher term than squirrel, it is an adjective used to describe a driver who recklessly takes out cars around him more often than not when he is on the track. After you've been around said driver it looks like you got hit with a missile because your car is burning to the ground.

• Back'er down -- A command used by spotters on the track in an attempt to slow down their driver. Also used off the track as an expression to slow your roll or relax. Moms can also use the phrase to get the kids to calm down. "Joey, back'er down or else I'll take away your toys."

• Spun out -- Another expression used to describe a person who is stressed out, mad or upset. "She was all spun out when her driver boyfriend did not hold her hand on pit road."

• A smokey in the woods -- An exchange used by NASCAR transport drivers as well as other truckers warning of a police officer ahead.

• Kick a tire -- If you have to "kick a tire," you likely have to use the restroom. It's more masculine than saying, "I have to go potty."

• Incoming -- A term to warn the crew that a NASCAR official is on the premise and to let the crew chief know he has company.

• 10-4 -- OK, I understand what you are saying.

• Up against the fence -- A phrase used to describe a driver running the high line around the track.

• The Nomex effect -- The unexplainable obsession women get with drivers once they've seen their favorite racer in a fire suit. Nomex is the fire-proof material used to make the suit.

• P1 -- A driver who is leading the race is in P1 or Position 1.

• Stickers -- A term for new tires because they still have the stickers on the side and wear off as soon as you roll off pit road.

• Racer chaser -- Also referred to as pit lizard, a racer chaser is a female who travels the circuit looking to land a driver. Much like a gold digger refuses to date a poor man, a racer chaser refuses to date non-drivers.

• Sled -- An adjective a driver my use to describe a crappy car.

The opinions expressed are solely of the writer.