Edwards latest driver to take a trip into the bizarre (cont'd)

Plus, car owners should be used to this by now. Cup vehicles are as safe as they've ever been, and drivers regularly walk away unharmed from spectacular crashes. Away from the track, though, they need to be followed by MASH units. Biffle missed a Nationwide start at Bristol earlier this year when he fell jumping from a boat onto a dock and bruised his ribs. Kyle Petty needed to have screws surgically implanted in one hand after he slammed a transporter cabinet in frustration at Watkins Glen in 2007. Transporters have proven particularly nefarious -- Denny Hamlin cut his hand on one while he and friends were racing around the truck on foot after a test at Richmond in 2006.

Which is more embarrassing: breaking a foot while playing Frisbee, or having to go to the hospital with a cut hand suffered while running around a truck?

“

Everyone can't expect us to just sit on the couch. We're competitive. We're going to be competitive in everything we do, whether it's chasing down a Frisbee or trying to make a hoop.

”

-- DENNY HAMLIN

"I think they're equally as dumb," Hamlin said. "I mean, that's the thing. I'm just as active as Carl is, and I have injuries all the time. I have back injuries in basketball, and all kinds of different sports that we play. You try to hide it when you get to the race track, because you don't want the car owners to know, and you just kind of suck it up at times. Everyone can't expect us to just sit on the couch. We're competitive. We're going to be competitive in everything we do, whether it's chasing down a Frisbee or trying to make a hoop."

Juan Montoya missed three Formula One races in 2006 because of a hairline fracture in his scapula suffered when he fell playing tennis -- an accident that McLaren boss Ron Dennis said hastened the driver's eventual move to NASCAR. Then there's the reigning king of the freak accident, three-time defending champion Jimmie Johnson, who has twice made offseason news for the wrong reasons. In February of this year he sliced his left middle finger with a kitchen knife trying to cut a hole in his firesuit prior to the 24-hour race at Daytona, an incident that required surgery to repair tendon and nerve damage. And no one has forgotten Johnson's impersonation of surf legend Duke Kahanamoku atop a golf cart during a 2006 celebrity event in Florida, an escapade which resulted in a fall and a broken left wrist.

"I think what led to my accident was a little different than Carl's," Johnson deadpanned. "Different circumstances. But our season is so long, if you get injured, if it's something you're doing screwing around, if it's something you're doing training, to be involved in the sport and compete, you have no time to heal. I got lucky when I broke my wrist. There were six weeks from when I broke my wrist to when I was back testing the cars, and my cast was off and I was in my car ready to go. I just don't think we have a lot of time. And if something happens, everybody is going to know about it if it's in the middle of the season."

Drivers aren't alone here. There are plenty of other athletes who have injured themselves by playing video games, sneezing, fishing, slamming a hand in a car door, pulling on cowboy boots, celebrating, or stabbing themselves in the stomach while using a paring knife to remove the cellophane wrapper off a DVD (that latter indignity fell to major league pitcher Adam Eaton). But that's of little solace to NASCAR competitors who have to make the dreaded phone call to team owners informing them they've injured themselves in some ridiculous manner, just like Edwards had to do this week.

When Hamlin cut his hand, team owner Joe Gibbs was coaching football with the Washington Redskins. Team president J.D. Gibbs, though, was the second person to arrive at the hospital. "I think he was just making sure his invested interest was OK," Hamlin said with a laugh. But it was no laughing matter when a chastised Johnson returned to North Carolina after his fraternity-level stunt three years ago, and was greeted at the airport by none other than the boss.

"When I came back from Florida and I got off the plane, the one waiting there to take me to the hospital was Mr. Hendrick," Johnson said, referring to team owner Rick Hendrick. "I'm not sure how Jack Roush does things, but Rick is that father figure to us. Rick never said a word. Just seeing his eyes and knowing he was disappointed was enough. It's like that father deal, when your parents don't say anything, you know they're really mad. I'm like, man, I've really disappointed this man."

Tony Stewart has been banged up plenty of times, but it's always been in a race car. In fact, he took a spill Wednesday night in a midget race in Macon, Ill., an accident that led to some inaccurate Twitter reports that the Sprint Cup points leader had been injured. Thus far, he's managed to avoid the kind of freak off-track accidents that have plagued so many of his peers. Of course, who knows what may happen now that Stewart has the martial arts robe and red belt given to him Saturday by Robert Wiest, the owner of Dragon Dojo in Panama City, Fla., and the winner of a small business contest held by Office Depot, Stewart's primary car sponsor.

"He's teaching me how to use instruments to eliminate all stupid questions," the two-time NASCAR champion quipped. "So pretty soon we're going to have a stupid-question-free media center."

Stewart, armed with nunchuks and ninja throwing stars? Someone alert the folks in the emergency room. Edwards may soon have some company after all.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.