"OK fellas - this is bound to get confusing. But the backup car - the one we want to now use - is the one WITHOUT the giant dent."
Joey Logano wins at Bristol. Receives gladiator sword in victory lane. Uses it to slice the hell out of some bread.
With two races left until the Chase, it's crunch time for several drivers, who desperately need to either win, or peel a winner sticker off of someone else's car and slap it on their own and just hope no one notices.
NASCAR would like to thank its competitors for adhering to the new rule stating that drivers must wait for safety personnel to arrive at their cars before hurling things at others in a blind rage. We're pleased with the results.
After Denny Hamlin threw his HANS device at Kevin Harvick, TV failed to show Harvick coming back around and throwing a bean bag back at Hamlin.
(Follow @nascarcasm on Twitter. His unique views on NASCAR are his own – but chances are you have probably figured that out by now.)
Read more from Inside Groove here.