Comeback kids: Other drivers we’d like to see return
By @nascarcasm | Wednesday, September 9, 2020
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Biffle! Bayne! Ragan! It seems like several names from the past are suddenly reappearing on entry lists. @nascarcasm has a few more names he'd like to propose for a one-off race.
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You have 49 career Cup wins. Your good friend, Kevin Harvick, has 57. That number will likely grow. Are you gonna let that happen? He's gonna bring that up every time you two hang out. "Guy with fewer Cup wins picks up the check," he'll declare when you're both hitting up the early-bird breakfast at Shoney's in 30 years or so. Time to be proactive, "Smoke."
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If anything, Kasey Kahne needs to return for one weekend just to help take some of the at-track cougar heat off of Ryan Blaney. And everyone can remark about how you look so much older -- like, 26.
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But you return in the most Paul-Menard way possible -- you appear out of thin air when no one is looking. You then hop in the car, finish the race, hop out of the car and then a cloud appears around you, and when it clears, you are gone. You are back to the mysterious parallel universe in which you now reside.
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Such a storied Cup career deserves a more fitting conclusion. Our last memory of Carl Edwards is the wreck at Homestead-Miami Speedway and then the sudden retirement. We yearn for just one more backflip. Even if you haven't done one in a while. OK, yeah, if you under-rotate and it winds up on the FailArmy TikTok channel, I'll feel really bad about proposing this, but still, just consider it.
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Yes, that's right. Why? Because we need something else to happen so people stop making awful jokes on Twitter about the jet-dryer incident. Juan Pablo Montoya is insanely accomplished across many racing disciplines, and his competitive fire still burns. That was NOT a jet-dryer joke, that was a standard turn of phrase, OK.
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Yes, that David Stremme. The man is busy building open-wheel modified chassis right now, but it would be cool if he came back so people could blame everything on Stremme for a change instead of Ricky Stenhouse Jr.
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David Reutimann needs to run wild just one more time. And let's not discount what the guy did in good equipment. He had two wins in Cup. That's nothing to sneeze at. I promise that was not a comment about the size of his nose. That, again, was a simple turn of phrase.
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Need someone for your road course? Look no further ... even though if you're looking to Australia, you've already looked a hell of a long way already. We have fond memories of Marcos Ambrose. So do several other drivers. Just ask Casey Mears, once he regains consciousness.
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This request came from all the snakes around his house. They just want one weekend off from being effed with.
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He's an Xfinity and Gander Trucks champion. He's a former Cup Rookie of the Year. And he resembles a mild-mannered suburban dad who watches his kids' soccer practice with his cell phone clipped to the belt on his dad jeans.
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There are few more universally beloved than Kenny Schrader. In a normal year, he runs approximately 120,877 races per calendar year. And he once took young Dale Earnhardt Jr. to a gentleman's club without telling Dale Earnhardt Sr. What I'm saying is this guy likes to live on the edge. He would be welcomed back with open arms.
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Once a year, he comes back only to run a number he hasn't run yet. From our research, there's only six car numbers he hasn't run. That alone should get him into the Hall of Fame, as the only driver to run every possible car number in NASCAR. He's the most dominant sub since Red October, this guy.