Mad Props: Fake NASCAR prop bets for Michigan-1
By @nascarcasm and Steve Luvender | Friday, June 7, 2019
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Steve Luvender and @nascarcasm are back with horrible advice for NASCAR.com's Props Challenge game.
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@nascarcasm: (Asks Alexa if Kyle Busch is over the age of 33) Yes.
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Steve Luvender: No. Team #YouthMovement has Joey Logano, Chase Elliott, Alex Bowman, Daniel Suarez, William Byron, Erik Jones, Kyle Larson ... I could keep going. Sure, over-33-ers include champions like Richard Petty and Jeff Gordon, but last I checked, they're not even racing this weekend. Advantage youth.
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@nascarcasm: Kurt Busch. Have you not bore witness to Kyle Larson's luck as of late? Every morning the dude goes for a 5-mile run under a series of ladders.
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Steve Luvender: Kyle Larson will finish higher. And by "higher" I'm assuming that means "using the highest possible line on the track -- like a-few-millimeters-from-the-wall high."
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@nascarcasm: Over. Totally doable. If my math is correct, 70.5 laps at Michigan is only about 141 miles. SHOUTOUT TO COMMON CORE.
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Steve Luvender: Under. Greg Biffle’s back behind the wheel of the race car this week, which will cause the winner to lead precisely 69 laps.
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@nascarcasm: Yes. One of them will win on Sunday. But only one. Not two. Of this I am absolutely certain. Also, it's before an off-week and we know how Clint Bowyer can rise to the occasion.
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Steve Luvender: No. Comparing 2018 and 2019 isn't fair at all; they're totally different years. In 2018, Stewart-Haas Racing won a million races and we warned kids not to eat Tide Pods. In 2019, Stewart-Haas Racing has gone winless and we're watching people fill their Crocs with shaving cream.
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@nascarcasm: Over: Fords run strongly here. That's why they used to call it “The House That Jack (Roush) Built," before it adopted its new nickname “The House That Jack Built And Rents Out To Everyone Else Now."
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Steve Luvender: Under. Have you seen Team Penske's latest Twitter video, The Penske Feud? It's tough to score stage points when you're literally feuding with your teammates.
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Steve Luvender: Yes, but only if we're talking about Martin Truex Jr. With his 600-mile bladder, he's proven he can hold just about anything.
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@nascarcasm: No. It will come down to fuel mileage, and the leader will run out with maybe four to go, because he was unable to conserve fuel as well as Martin Truex Jr. can conserve water.
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Steve Luvender: Over. Michigan is a special place for Ford -- to the point where each Cup Series Mustang has the word "Michigan" printed on it. No, I'm not joking. Check out the license plate.
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@nascarcasm: Under. Also, would .5 of a Ford be a “Fo” or an “Rd”? That there is a good Reddit discussion thread.
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Steve Luvender: Yes -- the No. 19 team's got this. Michigan is not only the track closest in proximity to crew chief Cole Pearn's hometown in Ontario, but it's also considered one of Martin Truex Jr.'s home tracks.
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@nascarcasm: No. It's a very challenging track. Conquering Michigan is not nearly as easy as the Ohio State football team makes it look.
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@nascarcasm: Over. Which is not to say that I wouldn't be supremely intrigued by seeing a half-car finish the race. (See aforementioned Ford answer)
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Steve Luvender: Under, but just barely under 18.5 -- I'm saying 18 lead lap finishers. More specifically, the (No.) 18 (car) is a lead-lap finisher. Loophole, baby!
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@nascarcasm: Jimmie Johnson. For years, Michigan was the track that vexed poor Jimmie. Then in 2014, he broke through and got the win. He's capable. All he has to do is deliberately wreck WIlliam Byron.
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Steve Luvender: William Byron. Over the course of his career, Jimmie Johnson finished worse than 13th a staggering 19 times at Michigan. In the same period of time, Byron's only finished worse than 13th once. Sure, Byron was three years old when Jimmie Johnson made his Cup Series debut, but the numbers don't lie.