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@nascarcasm: Famous people who would make great NASCAR drivers
By @nascarcasm and Steve Luvender | Monday, January 11, 2021
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Every now and then, we wonder what it would be like if there were a few new entrants to a NASCAR field. How would the stars fare racing door-to-door against Chase Elliott and Kyle Busch at 200 mph when they're not busy recording music or shooting films? Maybe it's because we're bored as heck during the offseason, but here's who we'd like to see strap in for a race or two.
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TOM CRUISE
Why: Tom already holds a spot near and dear in the hearts of NASCAR fans. He played Cole Trickle in "Days Of Thunder" -- the 1990 NASCAR-based film as renowned for its realistic racing action as it is its accuracy in demonstrating the aerodynamic principles of racing with packets of artificial sweetener. But recent events suggest he has another skill required to be a race-car driver -- screaming at your crew.
Why: Tom already holds a spot near and dear in the hearts of NASCAR fans. He played Cole Trickle in "Days Of Thunder" -- the 1990 NASCAR-based film as renowned for its realistic racing action as it is its accuracy in demonstrating the aerodynamic principles of racing with packets of artificial sweetener. But recent events suggest he has another skill required to be a race-car driver -- screaming at your crew.
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POST MALONE
Why: Who better to drive a car that is completely covered in logos and designs than a guy whose face is completely covered in logos and designs?
Why: Who better to drive a car that is completely covered in logos and designs than a guy whose face is completely covered in logos and designs?
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MORGAN FREEMAN
Why: Mr. Freeman is one of the greatest film actors of our time. And he's on this list just because the radio transmissions with his crew and spotter would be amazing. While the spotter and crew chief discuss the technical aspects of the race, Morgan's communications would be moving, ethereal narrations of the racing action in his signature soothing baritone voice. "For once, I am unafraid -- unafraid to jump into the high line. Whether anyone will join me is uncertain, but I hope they will. I hope they will push me to the front. I hope ... "
Why: Mr. Freeman is one of the greatest film actors of our time. And he's on this list just because the radio transmissions with his crew and spotter would be amazing. While the spotter and crew chief discuss the technical aspects of the race, Morgan's communications would be moving, ethereal narrations of the racing action in his signature soothing baritone voice. "For once, I am unafraid -- unafraid to jump into the high line. Whether anyone will join me is uncertain, but I hope they will. I hope they will push me to the front. I hope ... "
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ALFONSO RIBEIRO
Why: The "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" actor and beloved host of "America's Funniest Home Videos" would make a fine NASCAR driver -- and that's because he has proven he can wheel a race car. He's a four-time winner of the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race at Long Beach Street Circuit -- winning twice in both the Celebrity and Pro categories. Plus, just imagine his Victory Lane dance.
Why: The "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" actor and beloved host of "America's Funniest Home Videos" would make a fine NASCAR driver -- and that's because he has proven he can wheel a race car. He's a four-time winner of the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race at Long Beach Street Circuit -- winning twice in both the Celebrity and Pro categories. Plus, just imagine his Victory Lane dance.
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HARRY STYLES
Why: Aside from the road courses, NASCAR drivers spend all day going left. And a fellow who comes from One Direction should be able to turn one direction.
Why: Aside from the road courses, NASCAR drivers spend all day going left. And a fellow who comes from One Direction should be able to turn one direction.
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BERNARD POLLARD JR.
Why: The NFL veteran and Super Bowl champion took up iRacing last year, and it has been a blast to watch his progression through the rankings thanks to his videos on Twitter. And you know nobody would mess around with the guy famous for his tackles.
Why: The NFL veteran and Super Bowl champion took up iRacing last year, and it has been a blast to watch his progression through the rankings thanks to his videos on Twitter. And you know nobody would mess around with the guy famous for his tackles.
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KEANU REEVES
Why: He has experience with fast vehicles. He'd set speed records in every race he runs, partially because of skill, but also because he'd be afraid if the car ever went below 55 mph, it would explode.
Why: He has experience with fast vehicles. He'd set speed records in every race he runs, partially because of skill, but also because he'd be afraid if the car ever went below 55 mph, it would explode.
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TOM HANKS
Why: Because if Tom Hanks is in a vehicle, ANY vehicle, something serious is going to go down. Whether it's a boat ("Captain Phillips"), a plane ("Cast Away," "Sully") or a space capsule ("Apollo 13"), trouble befalls ANYTHING Tom Hanks steps into that also has a motor or engine. But whatever happens in the car would lead to a dramatic conclusion that inevitably wins him an Academy Award.
Why: Because if Tom Hanks is in a vehicle, ANY vehicle, something serious is going to go down. Whether it's a boat ("Captain Phillips"), a plane ("Cast Away," "Sully") or a space capsule ("Apollo 13"), trouble befalls ANYTHING Tom Hanks steps into that also has a motor or engine. But whatever happens in the car would lead to a dramatic conclusion that inevitably wins him an Academy Award.
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GORDON RAMSAY
Why: We don't think he'd have any issues with telling his crew chief the car setup is awful. In fact, that sounds like an entire TV series for him.
Why: We don't think he'd have any issues with telling his crew chief the car setup is awful. In fact, that sounds like an entire TV series for him.
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MERYL STREEP
Why: She'd be good in the race car. Why is that? Because come on -- Meryl Streep is amazing in everything she does.
Why: She'd be good in the race car. Why is that? Because come on -- Meryl Streep is amazing in everything she does.
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ADAM DRIVER
Why: His last name is literally Driver. Plus, he is super talented, served in the U.S. Marine Corps and everyone loves him. Instant fan fave.
Why: His last name is literally Driver. Plus, he is super talented, served in the U.S. Marine Corps and everyone loves him. Instant fan fave.
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