@nascarcasm: Parting gifts for drivers eliminated from Round of 16
By @nascarcasm | Monday, September 20, 2021
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Sure, your playoff journey has ended, newly eliminated driver. But that doesn’t mean you go home empty-handed! Take a look at some of these lovely parting gifts you’ll receive.
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This stainless steel, 14 oz. insulated beverage mug will keep your coffee, tea or hot chocolate warm longer than you were in the playoffs! Also works with soup.
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That’s right, a huge container of lug nuts for the five-stud wheels! Do what you wish with them. We’re not using these next year. Make a necklace. Hand them out to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. We just need to get rid of them.
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Use this cool and handy portable drive to transfer documents from one computer to another. Please ignore how when it is plugged in, it sort of looks like your car drove head-first into your laptop.
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Remember these things? You, like me, probably saw them on an Instagram-story ad and couldn’t resist temptation. They were popular in the early-2010s zeitgeist for approximately three hours. Anyways, starting next week, you’ll need something to do while sitting on the plane while your teammate who is still in the playoffs is doing post-race media, so here you go.
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(NOTE: There's still plenty of space on this baby. Burn whatever you want on there.)
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That’s right, you get to keep that big yellow nameplate that was placed on all the playoff cars. Stick it up in your garage, have it framed, do whatever you wish with it.
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A wide variety to choose from.
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This artistic hat visually depicts the transition from being in the playoffs to what you say once you’re eliminated from the playoffs.
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Atlanta Motor Speedway is being repaved, but they’ve provided several chunks of the old surface as a souvenir for the drivers. That is, if you don’t already have one because a piece came loose mid-race and punctured your grille.
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Finally – and most importantly – just because you’re eliminated doesn’t mean you can’t be a factor in the remaining races. Here’s your written permission. Have at it.