@nascarcasm: Ugly holiday iRacing paint schemes

Ugly holiday sweaters are a delightful and kitschy yuletide tradition. But thanks to iRacing and Trading Paints, we can one-up those in-your-face garments with UGLY HOLIDAY IRACING PAINT SCHEMES. Nothing says “Christmas” quite like a gaudy holiday-themed race car, and we have a few here for you to “enjoy.”

First up is the traditional standard-issue ugly sweater paint scheme. It uses the basic patterns you frequently see being worn ironically at ugly-sweater parties or unironically by your uncle at the family gathering.

The alternating red and green stitching not only evokes yuletide cheer but also makes it really, really easy for your spotter to find on the track.

This scheme says “Christmas” as much as eggnog and fruitcake. Because it makes you want to throw up.

Tyler Reddick is one of our favorite drivers. He’s fun to watch on track, and he’s just on overall fun young fellow with multiple Cup Series wins in his future. That’s why we chose him for the “Reindeer Reddick” scheme.

Reddick has two Xfinity Series championships, so he seems the ideal choice to be in the Rudolph role, leading the rest of the reindeer! Ho Ho Ho!

Just imagine this thing blocking you for several laps. You’d be mad that he wouldn’t let you around, but you’d also be filled with holiday mirth and merriment. It’s a trade-off, really. On Tyler!

Two of our favorite things are Christmas and Denny Hamlin’s mask of his own face. That’s why they meshed so well in this homage paint scheme.

It’s purple to honor Denny’s sponsor, FedEx. And the repeating image of Denny in the Denny mask delights as much as it unsettles.

If you want to pay homage to Denny’s iRacing career by suddenly shutting off your monitor right now, we would certainly understand.

So many Cole Custer holiday puns, so little real estate on the car! But we did our best.

From “Uh oh, you got Cole in your stocking” to “Baby, It’s Cole Outside,” we wanted to feature as many of the delightful pun possibilities as we could on one scheme. So much holiday merriness. You just want to fall backwards off the top of this car and into the snow.

If you can think of any others, we got space above the rear wheels. “O Cole-Y Night” was roundly rejected, as it should be.

What are the holidays without those delicious traditional holiday snacks? Candy canes! Gingerbread! For this, we created a disturbing collage of Elliott Sadler ravenously devouring a biscuit at Cracker Barrel.

He worries not about hygiene or manners – he’s clearly tearing into that biscuit much like you would a piece of peppermint bark.

For the message, we simply thought “What would Elliott Sadler tweet?” That’s what we came up with.

Finally, a tribute to NASCAR’s happiest and smiling-est driver, Joey Logano!

After all, that’s what the holidays are all about – smiling and laughing with such gusto that you’re unable to see. It’s a Squinter Wonderland!

It’s a collage of Sliced Bread himself smiling and laughing that his eyelids have gone into their signature squint. It’s a merry piece of art that is wonderful for all to see. Except Joey, because he’s squinting.