@nascarcasm: Which Christmas movie is which NASCAR driver?
By @nascarcasm | Tuesday, December 7, 2021
1 of 9
Merry offseason and happy Christmas! Just let us know which Yuletide cinematic masterpiece is your favorite, and based on that information, we’ll tell you who your favorite driver should be.
2 of 9
WHY: Because you’ll watch that opening scene where everyone gets really mad at the character named Kevin and find it really relatable.
3 of 9
WHY: Because just like Frosty the Snowman, awesome things happen when you place a hat atop Carson Hocevar.
4 of 9
WHY: Because we think he is actually the kid that played Ralphie.
5 of 9
WHY: Because unfortunate circumstance after unfortunate circumstance, whether it’s getting wrecked on the last lap or your sewer exploding because your cousin emptied a chemical toilet into it, somehow, someway, this movie and Hemric’s 2021 season end with the main character saying “I did it.”
6 of 9
WHY: Alex and Rudolph are sort of kindred spirits, minus the nose thing. Both had a difficult time gaining status in their respective fields. However, they did, and now they totally run things. In fact, when the other reindeer used to laugh and call Rudolph names, he should have put those names on a t-shirt and sold them.
7 of 9
WHY: You know how in every single Christmas movie on the Hallmark Channel, there’s a woman who works in the big city and is in a stable yet unfulfilling relationship with some arrogant, big-city archetype who returns home to her small yet rustic and tastefully decorated hometown who runs into an old flame who still lives there and builds furniture or something and those two rekindle their relationship as the female lead realizes her roots truly lie in this hometown and most importantly, the true meaning of Christmas? Ryan Blaney totally looks like the old flame in the hometown.
8 of 9
WHY: Because like Joey, so many people dislike this movie and I can’t figure out why because it’s a very nice and pleasant movie. OPEN YOUR HEARTS, PEOPLE.
9 of 9
WHY: Because you like your Christmas movies the same way you like your drivers’ in-car audio – hilarious, very enjoyable, and filled with about 300 F-bombs within a two-hour timespan.