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MORE: 2017 season review in GIFs
2017 was such a
-- memorable recent terrific wild
season for racing. It’s a bummer that
-- Dale Jr. is retiring Matt Kenseth doesnt’t have a ride for next year Corey Lajoie didn’t win Rookie of the Year Chase Elliott didn’t win Rookie of the Year my favorite driver didn’t win 36 races
and
-- Danica Patrick is retiring Clint Bowyer went winless there is no racing for three months BK Racing has no plans to expand to four cars I got in trouble wearing my NASCAR shirt to work
, but at least we can look forward to 2018 when
-- Bubba Wallace is racing full-time Aric Almirola joins Stewart-Haas Racing The Wood Brothers car is blinding Menards yellow Dale Jr. can live tweet races
and
-- the average age of Hendrick Motorsports drivers is like 20 Daniel Suarez loses his rookie stripes my driver gets another shot at the championship I make a road trip out of all 36 races I petition the boss to change the office dress code
.
Before the season started, I predicted this was going to be
-- AJ Allmendinger Aric Almirola Trevor Bayne Ryan Blaney Clint Bowyer Chris Buescher Kurt Busch Kyle Busch Landon Cassill Matt DiBenedetto Austin Dillon Ty Dillon Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jeffrey Earnhardt Chase Elliott Joey Gase Brendan Gaughan Gray Gaulding Denny Hamlin Kevin Harvick Jimmie Johnson Erik Jones Kasey Kahne Matt Kenseth Brad Keselowski Corey LaJoie Kyle Larson Joey Logano Michael McDowell Jamie McMurray Paul Menard Ryan Newman Danica Patrick David Ragan Reed Sorenson Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Daniel Suarez Martin Truex Jr. Cole Whitt
’s breakout season, but I was wrong — it was actually a season marked by
-- Martin Truex Jr. winning all the stages Toyota dominance repaved racetracks RCR’s return to Victory Lane
and
-- Dale Jr. retiring traction compounds fewer Gallagher/Townley brawls than 2016 way more stages than in 2016 NASCAR
. Who could have guessed that
-- Danica Patrick decided to retire Ricky Stenhouse Jr. won two races Kasey Kahne would make the playoffs Silly Season was especially silly Silly Season is not actually a type of seasoning
, too?
I was hoping to see a
-- AJ Allmendinger Aric Almirola Trevor Bayne Ryan Blaney Clint Bowyer Chris Buescher Kurt Busch Kyle Busch Landon Cassill Matt DiBenedetto Austin Dillon Ty Dillon Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jeffrey Earnhardt Chase Elliott Joey Gase Brendan Gaughan Gray Gaulding Denny Hamlin Kevin Harvick Jimmie Johnson Erik Jones Kasey Kahne Matt Kenseth Brad Keselowski Corey LaJoie Kyle Larson Joey Logano Michael McDowell Jamie McMurray Paul Menard Ryan Newman Danica Patrick David Ragan Reed Sorenson Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Daniel Suarez Martin Truex Jr. Cole Whitt
and
-- AJ Allmendinger Aric Almirola Trevor Bayne Ryan Blaney Clint Bowyer Chris Buescher Kurt Busch Kyle Busch Landon Cassill Matt DiBenedetto Austin Dillon Ty Dillon Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jeffrey Earnhardt Chase Elliott Joey Gase Brendan Gaughan Gray Gaulding Denny Hamlin Kevin Harvick Jimmie Johnson Erik Jones Kasey Kahne Matt Kenseth Brad Keselowski Corey LaJoie Kyle Larson Joey Logano Michael McDowell Jamie McMurray Paul Menard Ryan Newman Danica Patrick David Ragan Reed Sorenson Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Daniel Suarez Martin Truex Jr. Cole Whitt
rivalry heat up, but it never happened. I think
-- AJ Allmendinger Aric Almirola Trevor Bayne Ryan Blaney Clint Bowyer Chris Buescher Kurt Busch Kyle Busch Landon Cassill Matt DiBenedetto Austin Dillon Ty Dillon Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jeffrey Earnhardt Chase Elliott Joey Gase Brendan Gaughan Gray Gaulding Denny Hamlin Kevin Harvick Jimmie Johnson Erik Jones Kasey Kahne Matt Kenseth Brad Keselowski Corey LaJoie Kyle Larson Joey Logano Michael McDowell Jamie McMurray Paul Menard Ryan Newman Danica Patrick David Ragan Reed Sorenson Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Daniel Suarez Martin Truex Jr. Cole Whitt
should be banned because of his/her antics, because I am
-- an entitled millennial a well-adjusted fan Brad Keselowski Kyle Busch a huge Dale Jr. fan. GO DALE in favor of people being suspended so I can maybe get a shot at driving
.
Out of the Championship 4, I was really pulling for
-- Kyle Busch Kevin Harvick Brad Keselowski Martin Truex Jr.
to go all the way, since he’s
-- my favorite driver the most deserving the best driver basically a living legend Kyle Busch Kevin Harvick Brad Keselowski Martin Truex Jr. not Brad Keselowski not Kyle Busch a Ford driver a Toyota driver not a Ford driver not a Toyota driver a very talented race car driver
. In my opinion, of all the Playoff drivers, it’s just not fair that
-- Kyle Larson Kyle Busch Brad Keselowski Jimmie Johnson Kevin Harvick Denny Hamlin Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Ryan Blaney Chase Elliott Ryan Newman Kurt Busch Kasey Kahne Austin Dillon Matt Kenseth Jamie McMurray
didn’t win the championship because
-- I really wanted him to win I don’t like drivers with beards I don’t like single-car teams I don’t like fun he deserved it most he worked the hardest my opinion is supreme I placed a large bet on him winning I can no longer feed my family because of the bet I placed I want to watch the world burn
.
Anyway, it’s time for the off-season, which means
-- no racing for a little while all the drivers grow off-season beards the Daytona 500 is only eighty-something days away—right, Denny? time for some spicy hot takes on Twitter sobbing into my Austin Dillon-shaped pillow endlessly finding something else to do Sundays time to make a 2017 season scrapbook I should recycle all my empty cans of Monster Energy time for a Dale Jr.-less season WHY DALE WHY
. If 2018 is anything like 2017, I’m going to
-- feel pretty okay scream be just fine with that say, “Hey, this is a lot like last year” put it all on the No. 78 team cheer on Alex Bowman for Rookie of the Year even though he’s ineligible grab some avocado toast and engage with fellow millennials on social media visit all 36 races win off-season stages because I am Martin Truex Jr. write some steamy Paul Menard fan fiction scientifically prepare my bet for the Daytona 500 Tweet NASCAR executives my great idea for a new rule finish painting my street car like my favorite NASCAR race car watch tape of last year’s races since they had more Dale Jr.
.