Holiday gift suggestions for every driver in the field

I don’t know about you, but I love online shopping. There’s something about the thrill of finding the perfect gift at a great deal, all without the dread of real-life human interaction. If I were buying a gift for NASCAR drivers, it would only be fair to buy something for everybody. Here’s what I picked out, thanks to the magic of Amazon Prime. Surely, each of these drivers would love their gifts had I not already spent my entire holiday budget impulse buying junk for myself on Cyber Monday. AJ Allmendinger https://www.amazon.com/Inktastic-Racer-Vintage-Classic-Green/dp/B074PL2LLY/ AJ, you’re sponsored by groceries and you like road racing. You get a reusable shopping bag. #NASCARGreen, AJ. Aric Almirola https://www.amazon.com/Duck-Original-Cushioning-Perforated-393251/dp/B000CS787S/ Since you’re switching over to a new team next year, moving your things will be a little easier with some bubble wrap. Plus, when you’re bored during team competition meetings, you can pop the bubbles. You’re welcome, Aric. Trevor Bayne https://www.amazon.com/Janod-Stacking-Pyramid-Racing-Mixed/dp/B00BSJV9MK/ Trevor Bayne, it’s hard to shop for you. Uhh, you like racing, and you’re pretty young, so here’s a stacking pyramid of animals driving race cars. What, you don’t like it? Well, you can just give it to somebody else. Ryan Blaney https://www.amazon.com/ELFINA-Scissors-Thinning-Texturizing-Set-Size/dp/B01G1C3C1Y/ Please get a haircut. Alex Bowman https://www.amazon.com/Rookie-Year-Thomas-Ian-Nicholas/dp/B0007LLPXI/ It’s a movie — Rookie of the Year! Maybe that’ll be you in 2018 (or not, based on eligibility rules). Clint Bowyer https://www.amazon.com/Best-Kansas/dp/B00000I5Y6/ Clint Bowyer, you’re probably the best active NASCAR driver from Kansas, so naturally you’ll enjoy your musical equivalent — the Best of Kansas. Nailed it. Chris Buescher https://www.amazon.com/Vintage-Parts-599822-Aluminum-Buescher/dp/B074Q7Y3TK/ Neat — it’s a sign that says “Buescher” — and that’s your name! This will look great in the man cave. Kurt Busch https://www.amazon.com/Contract-Jeter-Publishing-Derek/dp/1481423134/ Kurt, I know you love baseball, and I know you’re still working with Stewart-Haas Racing to finalize your contract for 2018. Here’s a book by Derek Jeter called “The Contract” that might have some pertinent advice or something. Enjoy! Kyle Busch https://www.amazon.com/Toothbrush-Friendly-Toothbrushes-Bristles-BPA-Free/dp/B072ZWWMN4/ Kyle, this season, you were sponsored by M&Ms, Snickers, Skittles, and dog food. You’re going to need a really good toothbrush — here are four! You’ll thank me next time you visit the dentist. William Byron https://www.amazon.com/GORDON-TAKES-CHAMPIONSHIP-NASCAR-DIECAST/dp/B000MXUB4K For little William, here’s a No. 24 car — play with it whenever you’d like! Jeff Gordon won his second championship in 1997, just before you were born. Some day when you’re older, maybe you’ll race the No. 24 car, too! Landon Cassill https://www.amazon.com/Texting-Cuffs-Millennial-Handcuff-Keychain/dp/B071P69GH3/ You millennials are always texting. Text, text, text — is that all you do?! Why don’t you put the phone down and enjoy the weather, Landon? Derrike Cope https://www.amazon.com/Cope-1-Z-Andrew-Jatau/dp/0996415432/ I didn’t read it. It said “Cope With It”, so I picked it up for you. Hope you enjoy the thoughtful gift. Matt DiBenedetto https://www.amazon.com/Racing-Weight-Quick-Start-Guide/dp/1934030724/ It’s a book called Racing Weight, because you’re a racer and you lift weights. Can’t wait to read your review, under the username Buff Boi. Austin Dillon https://www.amazon.com/Wham-Double-Through-Splash-Bumper/dp/B00DGEQ5C4/ Austin, I know how you always celebrate a big win by going for a slide on your stomach in the front stretch grass. With this slip-and-slide, you can practice your moves all off-season long! Ty Dillon You can share with your brother. The slip-and-slide has two lanes. Dale Earnhardt Jr. https://www.amazon.com/EZ-Drinker-Holster-holds-Black/dp/B00J2L613I For when you’re wandering the car graveyard next year and you can’t hold six beers in your hands. You’re welcome. Jeffrey Earnhardt https://www.amazon.com/Dimension-Jeffrey-9-Function-Multi-Purpose-Rosewood/dp/B012Z8G0T4/ I got this pocket knife engraved with your name, Jeffrey, just for you and your outdoor adventures. Although, I’m sure you could wrestle bears and chop wood or whatever without it. Chase Elliott https://www.amazon.com/UNITE-Hair-Seconds-Detangler-Leave/dp/B00UYBSZ52/ It only seemed appropriate to get you something called “7 Seconds” — hope you can get that first win next year, Chase! Gray Gaulding https://www.amazon.com/Schleich-14601-Giant-Turtle/dp/B001O2QW9G/ Wow — a turtle! You can pick him up anytime you want. His name’s Gary. Now, whenever someone misspells your name, it’ll be funny because they’ll be referring to your turtle, Gary Gaulding. Denny Hamlin https://www.amazon.com/AIMILAR-Digital-Countdown-Kitchen-Retirement/dp/B01E2KKK2G/ Hey, cool, a countdown clock! Maybe you can use it to count down — oh, I don’t know — a big race that’s coming up? Kevin Harvick https://www.amazon.com/Nicknames-Past-Present-Christine-Rose/dp/0929626184/ Where did he come from?! For the man who has everything — at least when it comes to nicknames — here’s a perfect book for you, Cactus King Closer. Jimmie Johnson https://www.amazon.com/Russell-Hobbs-Coffeemaker-Stainless-CM3100BKR/dp/B074XPD7P3/ Jimmie, you’re always talking about how you want eight cups — this coffeemaker gives you just that. Happy holidays! Erik Jones https://www.amazon.com/New-Guy-Kelly-Miller/dp/B000ASATTE/ It’s a movie called New Guy — like you at Joe Gibbs Racing. I haven’t watched it, but I got a great deal. Kasey Kahne https://www.amazon.com/Now-Thats-What-Call-Music/dp/B01MG1JZA2/ It’s hard to find anything with a 95 on it, but this CD came through. There’s a “Now That’s What I Call Music” for every driver’s car number! Matt Kenseth https://www.amazon.com/101-Fun-Things-Retirement-Irreverent/dp/1514117495/ I heard you’re retiring. Here’s something you can read to keep you busy in 2018. Brad Keselowski https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Brother-Sheila-Sweeny-Higginson/dp/1442420219 This book will help you get along with your new teammate next year, Brad. Be nice to little Ryan Blaney. Corey LaJoie https://www.amazon.com/Dogg-Athletics-Spinning-Maximum-Results/dp/B002PEZPN6 In case you ever find yourself in a spin, here’s how you can maximize it — although, I guess you stopped doing that spinning stuff in, like, April. Kyle Larson https://www.amazon.com/Off-Wall-DVD-Michael-Jackson/dp/B01A7EOJLY/ Michael Jackson’s here to remind you to stay off the wall. Well, you can get close, because you’re really good at going fast up there, but remember — Off the Wall. Happy holidays, Kyle. Joey Logano https://www.amazon.com/Goalrilla-Striker-Soccer-Rebound-Trainer/dp/B0076S64T0/ “Gee, thanks! A soccer goal trainer!” It’s to help you rebound after 2017, Joey. And there’s no gift receipt. Michael McDowell https://www.amazon.com/MCDOWELL-Lifetime-Member-Family-Shirt/dp/B0779R9CYK/ Just wear it, Michael. It’s hard to find shirts that fit people who are eight feet tall. And if you donate the shirt to the thrift store, I’ll find it and return it to its rightful owner — you. Jamie McMurray https://www.amazon.com/Racing-Champions-1994-McDonald-Hamburglar/dp/B004ETI3Y8/ You’re always raving about McDonalds and I know you like NASCAR, Jamie, so here’s a collectible McDonaldland diecast from 1994, when Hamburglar was tearing up the track and swiping hamburgers from Bill Elliott. Paul Menard https://www.amazon.com/Lays-Classic-Family-Potato-Chips/dp/B01MZANU7D/ I forgot to shop for you, Paul Menard. I totally dropped the ball. Here’s a bag of chips. It’s yellow like your car. Please enjoy. Ryan Newman https://www.amazon.com/Moon-Landing-Hoax-Eagle-Landed/dp/1906512477 I saw this was on your wish list. Sorry if you’ve already read it. Danica Patrick https://www.amazon.com/Bits-Pieces-Delightful-Sculptures-Positioned/dp/B072C64MHD/ I know you’re into yoga and stuff, and I saw these knick-knacks and just had to pick them up. Please don’t try to return them and get money back. David Ragan https://www.amazon.com/AUTOGRAPHED-Racing-Substitution-Garage-Picture/dp/B00YX6CVYA/ Wow, an autographed photo of David Ragan! That seems like something David Ragan might enjoy. Ricky Stenhouse Jr. https://www.amazon.com/Aesthetinc-Patriotic-American-Novelty-Cotton/dp/B01661GW8A/ America! 1776! We are the champs! And what would the holidays be without a nice new pair of socks? You need a nice pair of socks, you know. Here’s a patriotic pair especially for you, Ricky. Daniel Suarez https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Sophomores-Rule-T-Shirt-Design/dp/B075JC5DBC/?th=1 Well, Daniel, you’re not a rookie anymore — you’re a sophomore in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series! Here’s a shirt to remind everyone there aren’t yellow rookie stripes on your car anymore. Martin Truex Jr. https://www.amazon.com/Ultra-Figurine-Beanie-Display-7-Inch/dp/B001IJFKWA/ I heard you won a trophy or something, so here’s a nice case to keep it safe up on your shelf. It’ll fit any Beanie Baby ever made, too, if I didn’t get the right size. Just trying to be thoughtful. Bubba Wallace https://www.amazon.com/elope-Racing-Reindeer-Helmet-Hat/dp/B00187X3FI/ Wow, two for one! You can wear a fun racing-themed holiday hat, and wear it to team meetings with your new boss, Richard Petty, and talk about your eccentric hats. Cole Whitt https://www.amazon.com/Days-Thunder-Various/dp/B00AEFXR1K/ Check it out! They made a movie about stock car racing and the main character is named Cole! Maybe you’ve heard of it. Happy holidays, NASCAR Nation.