| 1 |
1 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He called Kurt Busch “Rubberhead” again. C’mon, Kevin, read the newspapers. We found out for sure last week that Busch’s head is not made of rubber. |
| 2 |
2 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He described his finish as “typical Bristol,” which set a new record for drivers saying “typical Bristol.” |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
In the newest Smirnoff Ice commercial, his crew removed his tires and steering wheel. What they didn’t tell you is that he still finished eighth and gained 46 points on Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
| 4 |
10 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
The boos came raining down from 160,000 people while he was in victory lane. And he didn’t even put Terry Labonte in the wall on the final lap. |
| 5 |
5 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Unless you were under a rock on Friday, it was announced that an alleged former girlfriend of Jeff Gordon will appear in Playboy. If officials at the magazine wanted to make some money, they’d make the magazine available in a 1:24 diecast. $159.99. Plus shipping. |
| 6 |
8 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
He’s the only driver with more than $4 million in earnings. That would buy exactly 25,001 of those diecasts we just talked about. |
| 7 |
7 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Let’s count down: Dale Jr. is 351 points behind Matt Kenseth. It’s 251 miles from Bristol to Darlington. Dale Jr. won at Talladega 151 days ago. There’s 51 items in Dale Jr.’s store on NASCAR.com. And he has 1 victory this year. We could have said that his chances at the title this year were .051, but that’s a bit exaggerated. |
| 8 |
4 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Nothing is going right. Just last week, Dale Earnhardt Jr. just grabbed the series lead from Stewart in facial hair growth. |
| 9 |
9 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
It was his first DNF. He finally got that hair messed up. |
| 10 |
6 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He wasn’t sure how he would pay Jimmy Spencer’s fine, so he bet a friend $25,000 that he wouldn’t finish Bristol. |
| 11 |
14 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
He’s got an outside chance of finishing the season in the top 10 in the standings. Comeback Driver of the Year. |
| 12 |
13 |
 |
Mark Martin |
He said that Johnny Sauter “Lost it, how many times, I don't know.” But let’s give Mark some credit. How in the heck did he remember who was actually in the No. 4 car? |
| 13 |
16 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He leads the series in seventh-place finishes. No joke. Look it up. |
| 14 |
11 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
The Chicagoland crash really took the wind out of his sails. He’s dropped from fourth to ninth in the last five weeks. |
| 15 |
12 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Dude, if you had qualified better at Bristol, that might have been you in victory lane instead of Busch. But then again, we wouldn’t have heard all those boos. |
| 16 |
19 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He’s reverting back to the old Texaco paint scheme for 2004. He ran it at Bristol, and it looked and ran great. It wasn’t a coincidence. |
| 17 |
15 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He signed a new deal to be a spokesman for Callaway golf clubs. In the new ad campaign, Ryan Newman wins a golf tournment with the clubs, and Wallace watches. |
| 18 |
18 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
He does not want to miss the Tennessee Volunteers’ home opener this weekend against Fresno State, so he seriously considered punching Kurt Busch after the race. |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Jamie McMurray took back the rookie lead from Biffle. No word on whether McMurray is allowed to use Sterling Marlin’s car for the stretch run. |
| 20 |
20 |
 |
Bill Elliott |
He has five wins at Darlington, but his last one came only one month after Kurt Busch became eligible for a driver’s license. |
| 21 |
21 |
 |
Ward Burton |
We’re not sure what he gave his teammate, Kenny Wallace, for his 40th birthday. But chances are excellent the gift has a serial number on the butt of it. |
| 22 |
24 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Todd Parrott is his new crew chief. Apparently, not being a crew chief for an extended period is an awesome weight loss program. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
Good news: He moved up a spot in the standings. Bad news: He moved up a spot because Spencer sat out the race. |
| 24 |
23 |
 |
Steve Park |
Steve, we need you to change your name, buddy. Every time we have an article on Shawn Parker or spark plugs, it reads the article as “Spark” and it shows up on your driver page. |
| 25 |
25 |
 |
Jimmy Spencer |
Heck, we’ll put you in here anyway. Did you know that Spencer, even with the suspension, has scored more points in the last six races than Jeff Gordon? As if Jeff Gordon’s week couldn’t get any worse. |
