| 1 |
1 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He owns a Mini Cooper. We’re not kidding about that part. He drove himself and Jimmy Spencer a couple of miles to McDonald’s, and the car used 15 gallons of gas getting up a hill. |
| 2 |
3 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He’s third in most popular driver voting. The voting is all done online, which is a good thing, because Ricky Rudd wasn’t sure how to connect to the Internet to stop it. |
| 3 |
2 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Did you know he served as a New York cabdriver for a day? He was pretty prepared, since he didn’t know where anything was anyway, but to really prepare, he didn’t shower for three days. |
| 4 |
7 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Robbie Loomis says he’s not feeling the pressure despite one win in 2003. Pressure? That ain’t pressure! Pressure is trying to hold off Mike Wallace for sixth at Talladega! |
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
He admitted to laughing when he saw Jimmie Johnson spin after making contact with Michael Waltrip. Bet he didn’t laugh when he was a lap down to Buckshot Jones. |
| 6 |
5 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Actually, all the allergies he’s been suffering from is not all that bad for a driver. Just sneeze on your hand, and the grip on the steering wheel improves 100 percent. |
| 7 |
4 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Matt Kenseth Fan No. 1: Wow, Matt ran the Smirnoff car again last weekend. Matt Kenseth Fan No. 2: I hear he’s running a Dewalt car this weekend. Matt Kenseth Fan No. 1: Dewalt? Must be a special paint scheme. |
| 8 |
10 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
He’s suing a man whom he says sold fake Tony Stewart helmets on the internet. Which is serious business. At least the man wasn’t stupid enough to try to forge pictures of Stewart laughing and joking with the media after crashing out of a race. |
| 9 |
11 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
Again, we're being serious when we say that he’s a big fan of the Weather Channel. He spends hours staring at the TV screen, anxiously awaiting a green band of showers that resembles a Chevy. |
| 10 |
13 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He should have called Bobby Labonte on Saturday. He went out to play golf at a course near Talladega, and boy, it came a flood when he was pretty far from the clubhouse. |
| 11 |
9 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
He’s got 23 straight finishes of 25th or better. Enter the jinx. |
| 12 |
8 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
They shouldn’t have fined him $5,000 for saying a cuss word. That is just wrong. A fine for a ninth straight season with a buzzcut might be justifiable though. |
| 13 |
15 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He didn’t use a roof hatch at Talladega. They didn’t test it to make sure his ears would make it through. |
| 14 |
20 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Michael Waltrip, told Elliott Sadler was OK following his crash, said, “Oh, good. Cause we’re playing golf on Wednesday.” |
| 15 |
12 |
 |
Bill Elliott |
He said it was “Typical Talladega.” What’s next? “Typical Kansas?” |
| 16 |
19 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
After everything he’s been through this year, seeing him with his son as a competitor was really nice to see. |
| 17 |
16 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Old Talladega winners never die. They just fade away in the final 10 laps. |
| 18 |
14 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Is he staying with Roush Racing, or bolting to another team? Also, a more difficult question: Will his engine explode in anger if he does? |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
The two-year winless mark is approaching. |
| 20 |
18 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
He was hoping to get up there and race with Harvick in the closing laps, but his engine let go. |
| 21 |
25 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Senator Bob Graham called him in victory lane, seeking advice on how to win outside the state of Florida. |
| 22 |
22 |
 |
Ward Burton |
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez got a hunting license in Georgia last week. Which begs the question. Why didn’t they just purchase Ward Burton? |
| 23 |
21 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He had a largely unnoticed, solid 12th-place run at Talladega. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Ricky Craven |
There’s an excellent chance he’ll have a teammate in 2004. Maybe they can land Kodak as their sponsor by promising not to use 19 drivers in a single season. |
| 25 |
23 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
Sterling, what in the world did you do to get all this bad luck? Did you secretly become a Vanderbilt fan? |
