| 1 |
6 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Man, he wasn’t used to being the leader at Rockingham. On the final lap, he told his spotter, “I am going to race Kahne to the line. I wanna finish on the lead lap.” |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Man, he’s so overexposed. Last week, he made the cover of Southern Living. |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He’s a Gillette Young Gun. So go ahead. Shave the head. |
| 4 |
11 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
Wow. Another Bud Pole. He’s so confident on Fridays that he wears the Bud Pole hat before qualifying begins. |
| 5 |
4 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
So he was on Larry King Live last week. Geez, is Gordon getting that old? And it’s a good thing he wasn’t on a month earlier. Their hair would have matched. |
| 6 |
14 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He’s spending time in Vegas riding the roller coasters. We’re not kidding. Let’s just hope he’s tall enough to ride ‘em. |
| 9 |
4 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
We’re going back to a racetrack that is very sunny – which means he’ll break out those blue sunglasses. You know the ones. He wouldn’t be caught without them. Fortunately, he hasn’t loaned any to Kyle. |
| 8 |
10 |
 |
Scott Wimmer |
He’s fourth in the standings. Wisconsin’s got half of the top four in the points. The Brewers can’t make the playoffs, but they’ll have two guys who will. |
| 9 |
8 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He was 26th in points last year. He’s 26th in points this year. It’s like Andy Hillenburg. Ah, the humanity. Wait, that was the Hindenburg. |
| 10 |
2 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
He just must not be destined to win a race at Rockingham, and there’s probably not another track he’s rather win at than The Rock. It’s really frustrating. It’s like the scene in Karate Kid when Daniel throws his bike in the trash after the Kobra Kais rolled him down the hill. You just feel sorry for the guy. |
| 11 |
16 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
His Kentucky test was canceled due to cold. Guess he didn’t know that M&Ms taste better after they’ve been in the freezer. |
| 12 |
18 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
Remember when he ran the Elvis-themed car at Las Vegas a few years back? It was the young Elvis. The older Elvis wouldn’t have lasted two laps. |
| 13 |
4 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
So his Top 10 streak finally ended when he crashed at Rockingham. And to make matters worse, he finished behind a guy who flipped all the way down the backstretch. |
| 14 |
13 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
Why is he in the ditech.com commercial with all those kids? He doesn't need a mortgage. He's old enough for his house to be paid off. |
| 15 |
7 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
He’s tied with Jeremy Mayfield with 218 points after two races. But Labonte wins the tiebreaker because he has more hair. |
| 16 |
19 |
 |
Mark Martin |
OK, so we’ve seen Miracle too many times already. But let’s overload some more. Mark Martin, this is your time! Another win at Vegas! Do you believe in miracles? Yes! |
| 17 |
NR |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
He’s the tallest driver to record a top-five finish in 2004. Bet you didn’t know that. Well, now you do. |
| 18 |
NR |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
We know Bill Elliott’s his mentor and all. What a guy. He’s got “Go Kasey, #9” written in shoe polish all over the back of his Dodge minivan. |
| 19 |
15 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
So they might build a racetrack in his native Washington. A 1.5-miler like Kansas. It’s like the dad said in Meet the Parents when Greg Fokker gave him the gift: “Well, we look forward to that, Greg.” |
| 20 |
22 |
 |
Ward Burton |
Remember when he finished second to his brother Jeff at Vegas in 1999? Neither do we. But it did happen. We saw it on Classic Sports, DirecTV channel 208. It came right after SportsCentury: Dick Trickle. |
| 21 |
25 |
 |
Casey Mears |
He’s completed every lap this year. Considering his season last year, that is an extreme reversal of trend. |
| 22 |
24 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
Looks like he gave Carl Long some “help” there on the backstretch. He must feel like the guy who shot Santa Claus. So we heard Long got all these $25 checks in the mail from “fans.” Actually, Nemechek sent them all. |
| 23 |
20 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
They’ve got young crew chief Ben Leslie (born 1973) and they’ve hired some 25-year-old kids to work on the car in recent months, bringing the average age of team members below 40. |
| 24 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
A milk company needs to step and sponsor this car, because something has expired on the car every week this season. |
| 25 |
12 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
He’s got a new reality show coming out this spring: My Big Fat Obnoxious Non-Restrictor Plate Race. |
