| 1 |
2 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
We went to New York City to protest Jeff Gordon’s black flag, but there was already a bunch of people there with angry signs |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
The new Tony Stewart Signature Series Monte Carlo will be available soon. Hopefully, it’ll be available in Home Depot’s hunter orange, so people can hunt deer without getting out of the car. |
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Mark Martin |
If he ends up missing the Chase by the amount of points he lost for his pit gaffe at Bristol, then he should just pretend NASCAR docked him 25 points for an illegal something. |
| 4 |
8 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He has not led any laps in the last six races, but he’s been as steady as ever, and we think he’s one of the 2-3 guys who will be fighting for the title on the final day. |
| 5 |
5 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
What will Dale’s retirement tour be called? “Shipping Out?” |
| 6 |
7 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
We heard some horror stories at how much weight some of the drivers lost on Saturday night. Which might explain how Kurt was able to get out of the car without dropping the window net. |
| 7 |
11 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
When he had that large points lead, we knew we were going to be bored, so we were going to investigate whether he shaves his eyebrows or not. That investigation is on hold. |
| 8 |
3 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
He’s barely out of Chase contention. Which means he better be practicing how to use the bumper on Bobby Labonte and Ryan Newman at Richmond. |
| 9 |
6 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He is tied with Mark Martin in the points, but he wins the tiebreaker on height. |
| 10 |
10 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Remember the 25 points NASCAR penalized him back in the spring? We bet he does. |
| 11 |
13 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
The media can do some stupid things to write corny headline. We’re shocked no one actually used Junior “burns” the field. |
| 12 |
14 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He is obviously having a contest with Dale Jr. to see who can go the longest without cutting his hair. |
| 13 |
9 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Last time the circuit visited Fontana, Biffle should have won, but they broke a transmission. |
| 14 |
15 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He’s earned over $100,000 in every race he’s ran in 2004. The other drivers to do this are Dale Earnhardt Jr., Matt Kenseth, Ron Fellows, Jason Leffler and Boris Said. |
| 15 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
That was a great call by Kevin Hamlin to stay out there late and not pit. Although he could have been worried Jeff wasn’t going to find the right pit box again. |
| 16 |
12 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
The Bristol race was so boring, even his arm fell asleep |
| 17 |
19 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
He is driving the purple car this weekend, which will bring him some good luck. Trust us on this one. Everyone's writing him off already, which is a huge mistake. |
| 18 |
21 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
Cool fact that we didn’t make up: Robby has earned $760 more than Kurt Busch this year. |
| 19 |
18 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
He hired Andy Petree to work on his Busch team. Interesting. Just earlier this month ago, Waltrip was working for Petree, driving Petree’s truck, but Waltrip wrecked it pretty bad. We can only assume Petree needs the money to fix it. |
| 20 |
24 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
At one point, he was running right behind Rusty and Dale Jr. Battle of the beer cars. Which might not ever happen again. |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
So he scheduled a news conference at Daytona to announce his retirement plans for 2005. We figured he was going to announce plans to finally win a restrictor plate race. |
| 22 |
16 |
 |
Casey Mears |
He ran the Energizer car at Bristol. On Monday, the Bristol paper ran the bunny’s obit. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Terry Labonte |
The Last Bowl Tour. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Jeff Green |
You are reading this right. We wanted to see if his name worked if we put him in here. Although he does have four straight top-30 finishes. |
| 25 |
20 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
For a second there, we thought he was going to climb up on the inside retaining wall to do a backflip commemorating his first DNF in the Nextel Cup Series. |