| 1 |
4 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
They didn’t throw beer cans at his car this time after the big win at Talladega. That’s because all the fans were already gone. |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
He went on an F-16 flight with the Alabama Air Guard, and he didn’t even get sick from the massive G-forces. Which means he was smart and avoided meatball subs before the flight. |
| 3 |
2 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Tony Stewart says there's no feud with Jimmie Johnson and they are good friends. Mainly because Tony missed The Big One. |
| 4 |
3 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
A fan won $5,000 by picking Kurt Busch as the highest finishing Gillette Young Gun. Which means everyone else picked Dale Jr. |
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He was in the middle of the Talladega infield for a lot of the weekend, and he got away with it because some people thought he was Paul Menard. |
| 6 |
5 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
After he crashed with two laps to go, the whole crowd at Talladega got up and left. If NASCAR ever wanted to ensure fast-moving traffic after the race, they need to make sure Dale Jr. crashes on Lap 5 every week. |
| 7 |
10 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
More proof that Tony has really mellowed: He was really nice to Darrell Waltrip during the red flag on Sunday. |
| 8 |
12 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
After the motor ran hot he went from 1st to the rear of the field. He simply let up and let the field go after the first lap. It was a move he probably learned from Ryan Newman. |
| 9 |
7 |
 |
Mark Martin |
We have been ordered by his fans to quit making height jokes, so we’ll quit cutting him down. No pun intended. |
| 10 |
11 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
We thought for a second that he and Rusty Wallace were going to get into it in the garage for a while after Wallace hit Burton’s jackman on pit road. If they had fought, we think Rusty would have had the advantage because he got some rest during the red flag, while Burton was in the car all day. |
| 11 |
13 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Turned 42 on Saturday. To celebrate, he reeled off 42 sponsors on TV over the weekend. |
| 12 |
8 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
He did a masterful job of weaving his sponsor into his interview about the big wreck. Which means he’s been receiving top-secret media training from Michael Waltrip. |
| 13 |
16 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
It’s a good thing he wasn’t in the Busch Series race on Saturday. That rain would have played havoc with the hair. |
| 14 |
9 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
Rusty's likes a good cuss word, but it was his brother Mike who was warned by FOX’s Dick Berggren not to cuss before the interview that occurred after The Big One struck. Which is the first time that Wallace ever received profanity advice from Mr. Magoo. |
| 15 |
17 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
So now he’s up against Elliott Sadler in FOX’s Sexiest Driver Poll, and Newman is gunning for an upset. We just hope Rusty Wallace doesn’t get caught voting for Sadler. |
| 16 |
18 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He has run well all year long and not had the finishes to show for it. On Sunday, he ran like junk all day and finished fourth. |
| 17 |
14 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
With Talladega so close to Middle Tennessee, old Sterl has a ton of fans in the Talladega infield. And they are not 21-year-olds. |
| 18 |
15 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
He hung out with Adam Sandler before the race. Or, as Mike Joy would say, “Adam Sadler.” |
| 19 |
19 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He got caught speeding twice on Sunday. He’s been caught a lot this year. He needs one of those Marty McFly-style speedometers above his steering wheel. |
| 20 |
20 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
He turned 20 on Monday. He asked for a tanning bed but didn’t get it. |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Scott Riggs |
As if the wreck wasn’t bad enough, the day became worse when Riggs learned they mispronounced his hometown during driver introductions. |
| 22 |
22 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He called Talladega “silly racing,” and after watching dozens of cars get destroyed on Saturday and Sunday, we tend to agree. |
| 23 |
25 |
 |
Casey Mears |
He was pretty red-faced and serious looking after that scary Busch crash on Saturday. It almost matched his expression in those burned, sweaty Target Racing magazine ads he’s in. The ones that look like someone held him down and rubbed Kingsford all over him. Take a look. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Dave Blaney |
They call his crew chief, Philippe Lopez, “P-Lo,” but it’s not because his hair is almost as long as Jennifer’s. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Travis Kvapil |
I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. |
