| 1 |
1 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Come on! You’d think you’d know how to do a burnout by now! How many have you had to do this year?! |
| 2 |
10 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
We had Sadler ranked much too low at 10th last week. Then he goes out and leads a million laps at Dover. But he still finished 10th. Which means when he lost his power steering, we regained some credibility. |
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
His air conditioning system failed halfway though the race at Dover. Fortunately, his eyebrows prevented any sweat from getting into his eyes, and he finished fourth. |
| 4 |
3 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
Did you see the trophy that they give winners at Dover? It’s a concrete monster with no neck. It was inspired by Ryan Newman’s three victories there. |
| 5 |
2 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Come on, Jeff, that wasn’t so bad. Tony just wanted you to spend more time with that new girlfriend. |
| 6 |
9 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
It was hot as all get out on Sunday. Busch lost 32 pounds, dropping him down to 98. On the bright side, he’ll be a better driver at the Indy 500. |
| 7 |
8 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Report: Mark Martin, tired of constant media attention, announces intention to race in the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series. |
| 8 |
5 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
He had the quote of the week: "Yeah, he [Jeff Gordon] expects more patience on everybody else, not himself. Instead of him doing it he expects us just to let him go and wait until his car gets better." Or until he wrecks. |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He drove an Oscar Mayer Whinermobile last weekend at Charlotte. No, wait, that’s not right. We mean Weinermobile. Our bad. |
| 10 |
20 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
Last week we had Rusty ranked way too low. So we e-mailed all his fans and pointed out that he only had one top-five in 14 months. And then Rusty goes and finishes fifth. Geez. Way to make me look even stupider. Hey Rusty, if you’re reading, we’ll send out some e-mails this time at the low price of only $5 a shot. |
| 11 |
16 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
That was the most anonymous sixth-place finish in history. |
| 12 |
7 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
He said Dale Jarrett didn’t want to talk nicely after their run-in at Charlotte. Which means that Jarrett isn’t charmed by toothy grins. |
| 13 |
6 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He has said that he was afraid of water. Which explains why his hair is always sticking up. |
| 14 |
13 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He re-signed with Evernham, and Ray said, “It should hopefully take Jeremy to a place in his career and he’ll be old enough then to decide if he wants to continue or not.” Why, Ray? Is it a 15-year deal? |
| 15 |
9 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
They actually showed his apartment building on NASCAR Drivers 360. Which means all the teen-age girls are probably on Mapquest at this very second. |
| 16 |
14 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He’s going to compete at Eldora Speedway this week with several other Nextel Cup regulars. Joe Nemechek, if you need directions to the track, give Tony Stewart a call on his cell. |
| 17 |
24 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He missed the Busch race when someone forgot to file his entry form on time. You have got to wonder what his hauler driver is thinking on the way back to North Carolina. “Idiots! I should have mailed the stupid thing myself!” |
| 18 |
15 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
So you already know we have a co-worker who is one of the biggest Jeff Burton fan in the world. And he said this year that Burton would make the Chase and win four races. And he bet a lot of money on it. So it’s a good thing that ditech.com makes it easy to secure a low-cost second mortgage -- in case you need quick cash. |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Tony Stewart says it would be a great idea for NASCAR to ask Mark Martin to conduct a seminar on give-and-take. After that, Waltrip can do a seminar: How To Approach Your Career with an Eye Toward Broadcasting. |
| 20 |
NR |
 |
Scott Riggs |
You’ve got to wonder what his spotter was saying when he was battling Tony Stewart there in the middle of the race. “Watch out! He bumped a four-time champion, so he won’t think twice about you!” |
| 21 |
19 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
Well, Shane Hmiel was right. He didn’t give Jarrett much time to get him back. |
| 22 |
21 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
CONCORD, N.C. -- Citing a lack of Dale Earnhardt Jr. news in 2005, NASCAR Nation is being cut from 60 minutes to 30 minutes, TV sources confirmed. If Earnhardt Jr. continues to struggle, the sources said, the show could eventually be cut to a single 45-second clip. |
| 23 |
18 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
Report: Labonte demands to be put back in FedEx car. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
It looks like Marlin is gone from Ganassi at the end of the year. So the most logical solution is to put David Stremme in the car. Here’s my take on this. The crew chief, God bless him, will have to go through a horrible thing called Sterling Marlin Talk Detox. We will give you an example. Marlin: “Cars pushin’ like a dump truck.” Stremme: “When I roll through the apex of the corner, the front valance of the car wants to slide up about 30 degrees, preventing me from getting back on 100 percent throttle in three seconds or less.” |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Casey Mears |
His personal Web site is offering his merchandise at deep discounts, so be sure to get his Target gear before he changes teams. We’re just kidding. Maybe. |
© 2001-2012 NASCAR | Turner Sports Interactive, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
NASCAR.COM is part of Turner - SI Digital, part of the Turner Sports & Entertainment Digital Network.
