| 1 |
1 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He’s obviously been staying at a Holiday Inn Express the last two months. |
| 2 |
2 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
That is a pretty funny SunTrust commercial he is in. Instead of cucumbers over his eyes, they should have used doughnuts. |
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
So he’s getting married. Yeah right. He’s only getting married because the Miller Brewery demanded a name change. So at the 2007 Daytona 500, he’ll be Kurt Bryan. |
| 4 |
6 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
He is trying to learn to play the guitar. His band can be called the Roushkateers. Roush on bass. Kenseth on drums. Martin lead singer. |
| 5 |
10 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
To improve his chances of making next year's Chase, Kasey Kahne has been ordered by Evernham to be more like Mayfield. It means fewer interviews, whiter teeth, gray hair dye and unlimited salad and breadsticks at the Olive Garden in Concord. |
| 6 |
12 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
Summer is over, and he totally wasted tanning season. |
| 7 |
3 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
He’s the next guy to win his first race. After that happens, he’ll finally begin getting photographed with a girl before the green flag. |
| 8 |
5 |
 |
Mark Martin |
He admitted he has been sleeping until 7:30 a.m. Which means the cows haven't been getting milked. |
| 9 |
7 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
We lost $5 on Saturday night when Rusty failed to use the term “hot rod” in his pre-race interview. |
| 10 |
15 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
Mean email we got last week: "Shame on you. Kasey has more of a fan base then just those teenage girls!!!!! There are quite a few old ladies such as myself who enjoy looking at him and oh yeah watching him race too. Besides all us folks here in the state of Washington can't be Greg Biffle fans, he can wheel a car but he's not much to look at. " |
| 11 |
8 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
We dare you to try a back flip at the Nextel Cup Awards Ceremony in those slick rented tuxedo shoes. |
| 12 |
16 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He also qualified to be Rusty’s teammate for 10 more races. |
| 13 |
9 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
You can almost imagine the conversations he was having with his spotter. Jimmie: Man, tell Mears to move over! Spotter: Can’t, man. He’s for position. |
| 14 |
14 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
This is going to work out great. Joe can teach Sterling how to win a pole, Boris can teach Joe how to drive at Sonoma, and Sterling can teach Boris how to plate-race and talk with a drawl. |
| 15 |
13 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
His get-well card from the IRS is in the mail. |
| 16 |
18 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
Unlike Tony, you can bet that you won't see Bobby in any commercials giving advice to women, unless it involves post-menopausal medication. |
| 17 |
24 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Man, he’s done a complete 180 from Bristol. He was complimenting Richard Childress Racing left and right last weekend. That Gretchen Wilson sure knows how to mediate disputes. |
| 18 |
17 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He is fun to play golf with, and his hair can be used to clean golf shoes. |
| 19 |
21 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Last year, Elliott wouldn’t cut his hair until the Chase was over. Which is exactly what Dale Jarrett needs to do for next year to get that mullet back. |
| 20 |
23 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
Scott Riggs and Robby Gordon have conspired to give David Stremme all-new equipment for 2006. |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Mike Bliss |
SportsCentury: Mike Bliss |
| 22 |
19 |
 |
Casey Mears |
I’d be grabbing all the free Target gift cards I could before the season ended. |
| 23 |
20 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Don’t worry man. You’ll still get to go to New York to accept that popular driver award thingy. |
| 24 |
25 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
He’s about to lose his crew chief. Even worse, he gets Junior’s cars back.
|
| 25 |
22 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Here is how bad his luck has been this year: At Richmond, a lug nut lodged into the jack, preventing the jackman from dropping the car. |
