| 1 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
I guess him and Chad Knaus can’t have a civil conversation. Knaus should walk up to him and say, “You mad at me?” If Tony says yes, Chad needs to hold up a Wendy’s Bacon Mushroom Melt, and say, “How about now?” |
| 2 |
14 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
That Steve Letarte guy is a pretty big dude, and Gordon is running great with him. And here I thought Hendrick hired him just to discourage Kurt Busch from ever entering their pit box. |
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Commercials are currently being filmed that will be used in 2006. I can’t wait to see Biffle’s new Subway ones. In the new ones they should have his car loaded down with foot-long meatball subs, with Tony Stewart driving the cop car. Only this time, Stewart doesn’t let him go with a mere warning. |
| 4 |
9 |
 |
Mark Martin |
He said, "If I had cars like that every week, man, I think I could drive until I was 60." Well, Ken Schrader is going to do that, and his cars won’t even turn. |
| 5 |
7 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
I think Carl should have to do one flip for every victory of the year. On the same try. Get him a trampoline if necessary. That should prevent a 10-win season. |
| 6 |
6 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Rumor has it that he helped open up Walgreens’ 5,000th store. What? Why did Kenseth have to go? Wasn’t Mark Martin available? |
| 7 |
5 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He flat-out refused to give any quotes yesterday, costing his sponsor some exposure. See, this is where Michael Waltrip would come in handy. Have him the designated hitter of quoting when drivers are too mad to talk. He knows all the drivers’ sponsors. |
| 8 |
3 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
A lot of y’all emailed me after I made the joke about Newman being a single-car team going for the title, but Newman confirmed it at Atlanta when he said: “We’re a one-car team going for one position.” |
| 9 |
2 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
His weekly teleconference was canceled. Mainly to prevent Tony Stewart from calling in. |
| 10 |
13 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Still not much news on Vickers. Jayski is going to have to dig deeper. VICKERS TO GET HAIRCUT? Heard Brian Vickers was seen near a Great Clips in Mooresville. UPDATE DENIED Hearing now that was Kasey Kahne, not Vickers, sorry |
| 11 |
16 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Sterling, if you somehow figured out how to get on the Internet and are reading this, I have a good prank idea for you before you leave Chip Ganassi Racing. Have Bill Davis call McMurray and have him say he’s just bought out the new McMurray contract from Roush. See what he says. |
| 12 |
12 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Did you see him on the Weather Channel over the weekend? They actually offered him a part-time job, but he turned it down. Seriously. And he didn’t even tell them Ward was available. |
| 13 |
8 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
Allen Bestwick committed a grievous error during Sunday’s broadcast. He simply called Rudd’s crew chief “Michael McSwain.” That was it. No “Fatback.” Maybe that is his way of complimenting Fatback’s weight loss. |
| 14 |
20 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
This was the first year he didn’t go Trick-or-Treating. |
| 15 |
10 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
Everybody thinks it is really cute to give him rocking chairs, but it makes the front of his house look like a Cracker Barrel. |
| 16 |
NR |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
Report: Nemechek quoted |
| 17 |
11 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
He is definitely in the No. 11 car at Texas. Please let him win. Denny Hamlin in 10-gallon hat with those teeth grinning. Same thing for Carl Edwards, actually. |
| 18 |
NR |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Report: May-Ling overjoyed by top-five at Atlanta |
| 19 |
15 |
 |
Casey Mears |
His donated a helmet for breast cancer awareness (www.bcrfcure.org). The auction raised $3,050, and the good karma helped Mears have one of his better months. |
| 20 |
17 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
First question Bobby asks potential car owners: “You guys wouldn’t make me run a purple car, would you?” |
| 21 |
21 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
That purple paint scheme he ran at Atlanta featured Halloween candy. It got voted the top special scheme he’s run all year by slim margin. Kyle Busch helped sway the vote. |
| 22 |
19 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He can still win the title. He can win all three races and lead the most laps and hope Stewart finishes 35th or worse in all three. Same for Biffle, Johnson, Edwards, Newman and Kenseth. Wallace and Martin retire with a race to go to generate extra publicity. Busch is early released from Roush. It can happen. |
| 23 |
19 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
This frustrating year has led to some rapid released hair. |
| 24 |
25 |
 |
Dave Blaney |
He’s got six straight top-25 finishes. And 15 straight top-35s. And 55 straight top-40 finishes. |
| 25 |
23 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
The wreck with Reed Sorenson was Teen Idol vs. Teen Idol. Kahne clearly didn’t roll out the welcome mat for his new competition. |