| 1 |
5 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Did you see that big man that kept Jeff Gordon from getting any closer to Kenseth? He looked like he was on loan from Jerry Springer. |
| 2 |
2 |
 |
Mark Martin |
A lot of you are not happy with me because I said that Martin got distracted at Atlanta because he was missing his Matlock reruns. I got about 50 emails decrying me for calling Mark Martin old.
1. Carl Edwards calls Mark Martin old in the new commercial.
2. I didn’t call him old. I merely said he enjoys Matlock.
Which means by emailing, you are admitting that old people enjoy Matlock.
|
| 3 |
1 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
After that Bristol reunion, Johnson might want to "accidentally" leave a traction-control device or a nitrous bottle in plain view when the car is going through inspection. |
| 4 |
4 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
I have already gotten a lot of emails asking why Tony was wearing a Mark Martin hat over his ears to stay warm. I truly don’t know why. Maybe the concession stand ran out of hot chocolate. |
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
A lot of you guys have already emailed and ridiculed Jeff Gordon for keeping his helmet and HANS device on when he shoved Kenseth. That is because that wasn’t Jeff Gordon who shoved Kenseth. It was a stunt double. Gordon was already back in the motorcoach sipping a latte. |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
NASCAR.COM had the headline "Monday’s child, fair of face" after he won at Atlanta. We are certainly doing our part to dispel the notion that Kahne is a pretty boy racer. |
| 7 |
9 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
Thanks to his Busch win on Saturday, he edged past Stanton Barrett and Mike Garvey in the Most Popular Driver voting. |
| 8 |
8 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Greg, I need your help. Please use your pull with Subway to make sure that soccer moms with 17 custom sandwich orders are not allowed in the regular line. Thank you. If you do this, you’ll be blessed with enough karma to actually stay on the lead lap at Martinsville this weekend. |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
At the end of the Chevrolet commercial, he says, "Let’s eat." Terrible. That should be Tony Stewart’s line. |
| 10 |
11 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Kurt Busch sure was sick of the Kevin Harvick talk, and his post-race comments showed some strain: "This is ridiculous. Answering questions about a guy who had nothing to say in the media center when he had the floor is ridiculous. It feels even that much better to pull into victory lane today because you guys want to make a story out of it. Go ahead." |
| 11 |
13 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
In a little-known press release, he was awarded 100 owners points by NASCAR, who cited the barely-used Section 45.23 rule: "Actions beneficial to NASCAR. Car held up leader in the closing laps, making race exciting and creating lots of angry people on pit road." |
| 12 |
16 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
He was all over Dale Jarrett’s bumper in the middle of the race. Which means he was the last man to see it alive before it disappeared into the stands. |
| 13 |
8 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
He probably should have been the maddest person at Bristol. He got caught up in the Gordon-Truex mess and wound up 34th. After all his good runs this year, he has little to show for it. |
| 14 |
17 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
He had a pretty quiet run all day at Bristol. The only time I saw his car on TV was when he was passing by on all four of Brent Sherman’s spins. |
| 15 |
23 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
I wonder how much self-control it took for Kevin Harvick from not accidentally driving over Busch on the cool-down lap while he was doing those snow angels. |
| 16 |
25 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
Report: Bobby Labonte’s top-five finish leaves media scrambling to look up when Petty Enterprises last scored a top-five finish |
| 17 |
18 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
After the Bristol win, Kurt Busch named the winning car "Rusty." Ryan Newman has already pledged not to draft with the car if Busch runs it at Talladega next month. |
| 18 |
17 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
Dude, you’re getting a lot of good press about being the lone wolf/car owner thing. Start a second car and hire an ex-champion. Then you’re Kyle Petty. |
| 19 |
14 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He is a very good TV commentator. And he even does his own makeup, which saves the network a lot of money. |
| 20 |
10 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Since Jimmie Johnson left him at the airport after the Las Vegas race, Mears’ concentration has been ruined.
Average finish before Johnson left him at the airport: 9.0
Average finish since Johnson left him at the airport: 23.0 |
| 21 |
20 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He ran in the top 10 for most of the day, until he found out that UConn had lost. His bracket is pretty much done. |
| 22 |
NR |
 |
Kyle Petty |
I don’t know about you, but I got a little teary-eyed at the return of the Schwans car. |
| 23 |
22 |
 |
J.J. Yeley |
J.J., your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to get out of Martinsville with a top-30 finish. It won’t be easy. And if your spotter says that Hermie Sadler is about to pass you, don’t get mad. He’s got a lot of laps on that track. |
| 24 |
24 |
 |
Martin Truex Jr. |
Jeff Gordon/Tony Stewart 56, Martin Truex Jr. 0 |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He needs more cowbell. |
