| 1 |
4 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He totally avoided an open-eyed Victory Lane kiss by running out of gas. |
| 2 |
6 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Sometimes I see Harvick and Burton leading the points and I think, "If one of these guys win the championship, it would be Earnhardt's eighth." They simply took over the race for him. |
| 3 |
5 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
He seriously needs to get with Brian Vickers and go on Breaking up with Shannen Doherty. And that doesn't mean I watch the Oxygen network -- noooooooooo way. |
| 4 |
2 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
He bought a house next to Joe Gibbs. I think I heard he is also moving his parents in there with him, which is pretty smart, because he can blame the late-night parties on their rowdy behavior. |
| 5 |
1 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
Actual headline from last week: "Coast Guard not returning to RCR's Busch team." You know, had Harvick actually done anything in a Busch car this year, they might have kept the sponsor. |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Report: Martin admits he might come back in 2008, eyes 10-year extension |
| 7 |
13 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
He actually said this in his Chase diary: "Our goal this weekend is to win practice, win the pole, and win the race. Not necessarily in that order." Sorry bud. There's only one order to it. I am afraid you're stuck. |
| 8 |
10 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
Was Tony Stewart even in Dover? Is that why the No. 20 Chevy took out Kahne? Was that dim-witted redhead from the Allstate commercial driving it? Was she super-sorry about his car? Did they still get engaged? |
| 9 |
15 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
On Real Sports last week I heard Danica Patrick lament the fact that Carl was on the cover of Men's Health with his bare abs. I think Danica is just jealous she hasn't landed a Men's Health cover yet. |
| 10 |
11 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
Report Mayfield files injunction to keep Sadler from leading any more laps |
| 11 |
9 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
That Gillette Young Guns commercial is the most unrealistic in the world. Like he would ever get up at 8 a.m.! |
| 12 |
7 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
He has got to be really happy that he can't fall any lower than 10th in points. |
| 13 |
8 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
He hired a trainer to help him slim down. He is being paid $250,000, or one dollar for every Blizzard that Stewart has downed. |
| 14 |
12 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He'd be a lot funnier if he won every pole and then told the cameras, "Yeah, it was a good lap. Remember folks, help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered." |
| 15 |
20 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
Kurt, I am pretty much begging you. Make your interviews funnier. This isn't about the car anymore. It's getting yourself loose and ready for 2007. |
| 16 |
17 |
 |
Dave Blaney |
His car was actually selected for post-race inspection last week. Because he has three consecutive top-12 finishes, he is obviously using bleeder valves. At least that is what I saw on TV. |
| 17 |
18 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
Fact of the week that shocks me: He leads all non-Chase drivers with 21 lead-lap finishes, which means he has more than Biffle (20), Stewart (19) and Waltrip (four). |
| 18 |
16 |
 |
Clint Bowyer |
He said sarcastically that Bob Dillner was welcome to check his wheels after he won the Busch race. Dillner did, and reportedly recommended 24-inch dubs and a subwoofer to compliment the low tire pressure. |
| 19 |
24 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
This actually happened last week: A Subway worker accidentally toasted a tuna sub. Yummy. The resulting stench filled the store. I tried to put a sandwich bag over my head to act as a gas mask, but it didn't work. |
| 20 |
14 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
This weekend will be the final one for Vickers' awful lime-green car. The tears will flow, and Jeff Gordon might not even know that it is him. |
| 21 |
23 |
 |
Reed Sorenson |
Thank heavens he doesn't have a lisp. His last name would be impossible to say because it has two S's. Trust me. I know from experience. |
| 22 |
21 |
 |
Ken Schrader |
Benny Parsons said, "Ken Schrader, a former winner here at Dover." But what Benny didn't tell you is that Schrader was a member of the Norelco Young Guns at the time of his victory. |
| 23 |
22 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Report: Montoya thinks Ricky Bobby is a real driver, wonders why he was absent from Talladega test on Monday |
| 24 |
25 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
If he leads six laps at Kansas, he will pass brother Terry for the family lead in laps led for the season. |
| 25 |
19 |
 |
J.J. Yeley |
I think I jinxed him with the fabricator joke last week. Or maybe the car was just wicked loose. |
